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INTEGRITY

By Di Kamp on August 10, 2003 in Excellent organisations, health+well being, Self awareness

At Meta we are committed to running and helping you run your business with integrity. A business built on the core principles of integrity is a business that has a recipe for success.

So often we hear the word integrity, but what do we mean when we speak about integrity? What pops to mind for most people are the words honesty and truth, and most definitely they are a very core part of integrity. But it is also interesting to consider that what makes integrity so powerful in our lives and our businesses is that integrity is also about reliability. So I would invite you to consider that:

Integrity is about doing what you promised to do,
when you promised to do it – no exceptions
Integrity is about not making excuses for promises broken
Integrity is about taking responsibility and owning up to others when we have gone back on what we said we would do
Integrity is about being honest and truthful even when that’s not popular or comfortable

We can be out of integrity with others, but just as much with ourselves. I know the numerous times I have promised to do something good for myself, and I don’t. Consider for a moment: if we can’t keep our promises to ourselves, how can we do it with others…??

I have found that when I restore my integrity and follow through on my promises to myself and others, I have a sense of freedom and openness that was not there before. All I am doing is acknowledging that this is important to me and I am re-choosing to do it. If I have a promise to someone else that I have not made good on, then I communicate that to that person, honestly, and make sure that, from that point on, I follow through on my word.

Our lives flourish when we live from a place of integrity, so why not make it easier on yourself and others, keep your promises, it enables you and others the freedom to be the best that you and they can be.

Homework
1. List the areas of your life where you have some broken promises, or promises not fulfilled- be honest, but don’t beat yourself up, you are just taking a look.
2. Now go through your list and choose the top three promises that would be most beneficial for you to restore, either a promise to yourself or to others. If you have more than 3 on your list, make a promise to yourself to keep going back to your list.
3. Continue to notice where in your life you are in integrity and where not, and decide to act out of integrity, and see what happens.

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BEING YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND

By Di Kamp on March 7, 2003 in Living fully, Meta Org Blog, Self awareness, Ways of thinking

It’s so easy to be hard on ourselves! We have all been well-trained in being critical, and we are great at turning that ability on ourselves. So we notice what we haven’t done rather than what we have done in a day, or we beat ourselves up for saying the wrong thing instead of remembering how often we say the right thing.

I bet you not only criticise yourself, you also sometimes reject praise or compliments by running yourself down! I know I can say things like, ‘ Oh it’s really someone else’s idea’, or ‘ no, I don’t look good today – your eyesight is obviously not as good as it was!’ This is not just insulting to the complimenter, it is also a less than useful message to yourself.

All this is telling ourselves that we are no good, and that is a lousy message to give anyone! So I want you to consider another possibility. Just for a while, imagine that you are your best friend. I bet the description of you would be different if they gave it! Friends are kinder to us than we are to ourselves, and they set us a good example of how we deserve to be treated. When we are treated kindly, we don’t get arrogant, we get even nicer! It reminds us of us at our best, and helps us to be like that more often.

So why not decide to be your own best friend for the rest of the month?

Homework

Spend a few minutes describing your characteristics as if you were your own best friend.
At the end of each day, find something to praise yourself about
Next time you criticise yourself, remind yourself to be kind to you!
Dare to give yourself a present for being such a lovely person!

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VITALITY

By Di Kamp on March 6, 2003 in health+well being, Living fully, Meta Org Blog, Resourcing yourself, Ways of thinking

The sun is shining this morning as I write this, and if I were a child, I would know that it was a wonderful day.

Yet as an adult, my view of the moment is coloured by all the other things I am told about how the world is working, through the news, magazines etc. so rather than celebrate the glorious day, I can easily get caught up in the difficulties and doom and gloom and forget to just live today.

Who has it right??

It seems that we normally need a life threatening event to wake us up to the beauty of the moment by moment of life, but there is no rule that I know of that says that we have to wait for something traumatic to be able to really appreciate and delight in being alive.

When I was little, I went to Sunday school, and I can still remember being told that I should count my blessings each day. What a lovely concept! And over the years, I have come to understand how useful that can be. We always have a choice: to moan about all the things that are wring, for us personally and in the world in general, or to count our blessings. Which makes me feel better? Which makes me more able to handle whatever comes my way? The answer seems so obvious!

I went to see Bruce Springsteen perform this week. I had a bad back, and could have made it worse by standing in a stadium with thousands of others. But I knew better. I knew that there are few better cures for feeling miserable than to go and be inspired by the sheer joie de vivre of this performer! For three hours, I danced, sung and laughed with delight, as he took us on a journey of celebrating being alive.

As Bruce would say: ‘ How can we get this thing started? Let’s have a party!’ So come on, count your blessings and celebrate being alive!

Homework

Stop for a moment and count your blessings today
Find four things to delight in today
Give yourself a present today
Do this every day for a month, no matter what is going on in your life

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THE TROUBLE WITH MONEY

By Di Kamp on January 3, 2003 in emotional intelligence, Meta Org Blog, Self awareness, Ways of thinking

Do you ever worry about not having enough money? For living, for that holiday, for retirement …… I know, I can sometimes get caught in the scarcity fears – by the way, if you don’t, please let us know your “secret”?!!

Yet I know that when I think poor, I am poor, and when I think abundance, I notice abundance. Does this make any sense to you?

We are taught to regard money as the means of being wealthy in our culture, and also to always feel as if we don’t have enough.

Yet we live in an abundant world, where happiness comes from snowdrops flowering, not from money in the bank. Snowdrops herald the arrival of Spring, first signs of new growth. Money in the bank causes us anxiety, as interest rates go down and it loses value even when we have it.

What would happen if we decided to be rich and enjoy the abundance of the world, instead of worrying about money? Maybe then it would be put back into perspective. It’s one of many forms of energy that we can share in. Perhaps if we paid attention to some of the others, we would reduce the fear, and allow the money we need to come our way!

Just as the fear of losing a relationship can often be enough to become a self-fulfilling prophecy, perhaps the fear of not having enough money is the reason why so many of us seem to not have enough!

Why not experiment with putting money worries to one side for a month and instead enjoy the abundance of new growth in Spring, laughter with friends and the exuberance of children?

Homework :

Buy yourself a small present to make you smile, no matter how poor you feel this month.
Notice what makes you happy that doesn’t require money.
Bless what money you do have and then give a little of it away!

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THE LEADER IN ME SHINING THROUGH

By Di Kamp on September 10, 2002 in Leadership, Self awareness

Several years ago, I helped a university prepare for a degree course in leadership, which was to be the first of its kind in the UK. My involvement meant that I became interested in the subject of leadership and well read in studies of great leaders. As well as satisfying my interest in the subject, I was keen to discover what I could learn to improve my style. What were the elusive qualities that would turn me into a great leader? The trouble was, the more I read, the more elusive they became.

My work at Meta brings me in touch with many leaders and I see daily examples of leadership, both good and bad. Whilst I still read about leadership, I have, at last, come to realise what the elusive ingredient actually is and why I, nor others, can ever replicate it.

Great leaders excel in being themselves. Their qualities and beliefs shine through and captivate others. People recognise their honesty, consistency and integrity in what they do. When there is this congruence, people are able to connect with the leader’s purpose, what they stand for and what he or she is striving for. It all makes sense. In an uncertain world, the good leader offers some certainty that people can understand and choose to follow. So we no longer need to strive to be like other leaders or to become excellent in all the leadership “competencies”. We just need to understand what qualities we possess as leaders and allow these to shine through.

So I want you to think about your own qualities as a leader…

Ask yourself what you are proud of about yourself and how you lead? What is it that people say about you that they like and admire? Is it your sense of purpose, your doggedness, your humility, your sense of humour, your ability to tell a story, your vision….
How do you demonstrate these qualities as a leader? Are there some that you tend to suppress? How are you going to show people more of the “real you”? When people see you shine through, the more they will trust your integrity and purpose and the more they will respect you as a person and as their leader.
Spend some time thinking about leaders that inspire you. What qualities do they have that you admire? Can you learn to develop some of these in a way that will become natural for you? Take your time, don’t rush. After all, you don’t want your light to shine less by trying to be in someone else’s shadow!

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Being Doing Having

By Di Kamp on September 4, 2002 in Living fully, Self awareness, Ways of thinking

Don’t we all say, sometimes: ‘If only I could win the lottery, then I could go on lots of holidays (or whatever our own dream is) and I would be happy. Yet every ancient philosophy in the world tells us that it actually works the other way round …. ‘If I choose to be happy, then I do things differently, and I can have anything I want’.

This is very challenging for our minds, which have been trained in the western culture of striving to attain. We almost want to make it impossible to achieve our dreams, because that proves that we were right – only the lucky ones can do that, and they are very few.

Yet at a gut instinct level, we all know that when we are feeling good, we respond to things differently, and the world seems to work better for us. It seems worth experimenting with, since we are, most of us, not about to win the lottery! What would happen if you decided to be happy today?

Homework :

Choose to be happy today, and just notice what happens.
Act as if everything is working well for you for a day, and notice what happens.
At least, practise smiling for a day, and notice what happens!

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Are You Spiritually Intelligent?

By Di Kamp on September 4, 2002 in emotional intelligence, Living fully, Meta Org Blog, Self awareness

It sounds so high and mighty, doesn’t it – spiritual intelligence.. I know that when I first came across the phrase, I thought that it would be something to do with being saintly and I knew that I would never match up!

Yet actually, it is more to do with being in touch with your heart and living your life to the full. Characteristics of those who have developed their spiritual intelligence are such things as enthusiasm, energy, cheerfulness, persistence, peacefulness and compassion. They are not a million miles away from being a reasonable human being who hasn’t lost all their delightful childlike attributes.

My mother-in law was a prime example of this, although she wouldn’t claim it for herself. Whatever happened, her attitude was ‘oh well, I expect it will work out for the best’ and her only concern was that no-one should be hurt by it. At 82, she delighted in riding her bicycle, going to her clubs, being in her garden, watching the snooker on tv and receiving presents on her birthday – see what I mean about childlike?

We all have these attributes in us – we were born with them. So how are you demonstrating your spiritual intelligence?

Homework

Find 3 things each day to be grateful for
Enjoy and use your sense of humour
Find 5 minutes to be peacefully quiet for the next few weeks

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Gaining Perspective

By Di Kamp on September 4, 2002 in Meta Org Blog, Self awareness, Ways of thinking

Have you had a summer holiday? I remember when I went to Italy during the summer and was lucky enough to spend three days in Sicily whilst Etna was erupting. We were able to see the incredible sight of a red river of lava, and hear and feel the immense rumbling and thundering which accompanies the eruption.

When stood by such a powerful example of nature at its work, you have to recognise how mundane and temporary our own stories are by comparison.

Whether we are disrupted by changes happening in our lives, or feeling powerful and important because we are being change agents in some way, the immensity of what nature does reminds us to get it all back into perspective.

Who we are and what we do is important and we do have an impact on the world, but we need to be reminded sometimes that there is more to it than our little piece, and we have to work in accord with the grander plan. We also need to remember that whatever is happening now in our lives, this too will pass, and life goes on.

Homework

What experience of nature has reminded you to regain perspective on your life? Remember it again now
What life event at the time seemed all-consuming, but has now become less important, merely another lesson, when you look back? Reflect on its true perspective in your life.
In what way are you working in accord with the grander plan? Reflect on how you play your part.

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What Ride are You Choosing?

By Di Kamp on September 4, 2002 in Living fully, Meta Org Blog, Self awareness, Ways of thinking

‘Have we not told you, life should be an adventure? If it were run-of-the-mill, you would have left it a long time ago. You need the sturm and drang, the passion, the highs and lows, to uncover the truth of who you are.

We get so caught up in our everyday lives, we forget what we came here for. See life as a game. It’s a game, it’s fun, it’s a rollercoaster, as we have told you before. It has its highs and lows, ups and downs, all arounds, but ultimately it’s all just a ride.

To find out what that’s all about, stand back and observe – where you get stuck, where you fly, where it scares you, where it exhilarates you, and concentrate on one goal, one goal alone: How does this help me to get to the truth of who I am?

Does it? Or does it get me stuck? Does it increase my fear? If the answer is yes to either of these questions, choose another path, get on a different ride!

There’s a whole fairground of rides. Some people like the rollercoaster, some the waltzers, some like the slow Ferris wheel, some the house of horrors. They are all beautifully different, so if you feel your ride no longer fits or suits you, change to another one! Go sit on the rollercoaster even if it does sometimes scare you. Or go sit on the roundabout and take it gently.

You are all grown-ups, you have the right to choose what sort of ride you want your life to be. So choose, choose now – and if you don’t like it, stop that ride, get off and go get an easier one for a while.

It’s your choice. You create what is the ride of your life. So create one that suits you, and have the courage to say, “no, this ride no longer suits me. I’ll choose another – I’ll create another life/ride that suits me.” And hey presto, you have the life you always wanted. It’s that easy.

We would say that you will probably get through a lot of rides, because at different times in your life, you will need different things. And eventually you will come to the ride that takes you to the truth of who you are, and once you are on that one, you will never want to come off, because it’s home.

(Thank you to Jo and his angels for this text)

Homework

What sort of a ride are you on at the moment?
Does it suit you right now?
Is it helping you to get to the truth of who you are?
If not, what ride do you fancy?

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Life is a bitch and then you die, or: Life is a beach and then you fly

By Di Kamp on September 4, 2002 in Meta Org Blog, Ways of thinking

I was reminded again recently of how powerful the culturally given beliefs are – you know, those things we know are true, because things happen which reinforce them. For example, we can probably all find evidence in our personal experience that people are not to be trusted, or that the world is not a fair place. It is interesting to notice that we can also find evidence that the opposite is true. Most of us have experienced people being trustworthy, or something which felt very fair and just.

The evidence we choose to notice will affect how we expect others or the world to be. It really is our choice: evidence for all beliefs is there for us, otherwise no-one would believe them!

And have you noticed how we tend to get what we expect? This is because we give off an unconscious message that tells the person how we are viewing them, and nine times out of ten, they “play the game” and respond how we expect them to.

So why make life harder than it already is? Decide to believe what is more useful to you, and start collecting evidence!

Homework :

1. Next time you need help from someone, assume that they will be helpful. Imagine them being open to your request, and see what happens.

2. When you come across someone who is optimistic about life, find out what they believe about people, and about how the world works. Deliberately look for evidence which supports their belief. (If you are already optimistic, list some of your own evidence).

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