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THE LEADER IN ME SHINING THROUGH

By on September 10, 2002 in Leadership, Self awareness

Several years ago, I helped a university prepare for a degree course in leadership, which was to be the first of its kind in the UK.  My involvement meant that I became interested in the subject of leadership and well read in studies of great leaders.  As well as satisfying my interest in the subject, I was keen to discover what I could learn to improve my style.  What were the elusive qualities that would turn me into a great leader?  The trouble was, the more I read, the more elusive they became.

My work at Meta brings me in touch with many leaders and I see daily examples of leadership, both good and bad.  Whilst I still read about leadership, I have, at last, come to realise what the elusive ingredient actually is and why I, nor others, can ever replicate it.

Great leaders excel in being themselves.  Their qualities and beliefs shine through and captivate others.  People recognise their honesty, consistency and integrity in what they do.  When there is this congruence, people are able to connect with the leader’s purpose, what they stand for and what he or she is striving for.  It all makes sense.  In an uncertain world, the good leader offers some certainty that people can understand and choose to follow.  So we no longer need to strive to be like other leaders or to become excellent in all the leadership “competencies”.  We just need to understand what qualities we possess as leaders and allow these to shine through.

So I want you to think about your own qualities as a leader…

  1. Ask yourself what you are proud of about yourself and how you lead?  What is it that people say about you that they like and admire? Is it your sense of purpose, your doggedness, your humility, your sense of humour, your ability to tell a story, your vision….
  2. How do you demonstrate these qualities as a leader?  Are there some that you tend to suppress?  How are you going to show people more of the “real you”?  When people see you shine through, the more they will trust your integrity and purpose and the more they will respect you as a person and as their leader.
  3. Spend some time thinking about leaders that inspire you.  What qualities do they have that you admire?  Can you learn to develop some of these in a way that will become natural for you?  Take your time, don’t rush.  After all, you don’t want your light to shine less by trying to be in someone else’s shadow!

 

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CREATIVE COOKING

By on September 10, 2002 in creativity, Living fully

This month’s workshop is all about Creative Cooking. ‘Creative what?’ I hear you cry, well, just hear me out. I love cooking, especially when it’s for other people. I’ve always been creative with my cooking, I enjoy being different and I believe that my artistic drive often is reflected in the food I present to my friends. If we are to look at the finished dish on the plate as a finished piece of artwork, you can quickly begin to see the similarities. There is of course a need for a contrast and mixing of colours, textures and the ‘composition’ and placing of the food is paramount as so much of our ‘enjoyment’ of the food we eat is in its presentation.

The way I keep my cooking creative is to always try to mix colours, tastes and textures in new ways. I find that new cookery books infuse new life into my cooking but so does an almost empty fridge! I find I am at my most creative with dishes that are composed of whatever is left in the cupboards!

So, a few things for you to try this month…

1. Go buy a new easy to use cook book – infuse new life into your normal eating regime with the help of a well known chef!

2. Colour – Get funky and experiment with colour in your dishes, stir fry’s are great dishes for going wild with colours! – try yellow and orange peppers, yellow oyster mushrooms, white beansprouts, brown chestnut mushrooms..

3. Presentation – When you put the food on the plate, think of it as piece of art and make it look ‘too good to eat!’

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Changing Your Habitual Thinking

By on September 4, 2002 in Meta Org Blog, relating to others, Ways of thinking

Most of us have learnt to think in limiting or negative ways. We consider problems rather than solutions, and notice what’s wrong rather than what’s right.  We do this without even realising it, and it is well engrained as a habit.

So to break it, we need to practice doing something different with our brains: noticing what’s right.

There are simple and enjoyable ways of undertaking this practice. Here are a couple for you to play with.

HOMEWORK

  1. Spend a few minutes thinking about the good points about your family, your work, and being the age you are. List at least ten good points for each category.
  2. Now think of one way you could add another point to each list by taking some action.
  3. And finally, think of a simple way you could show your appreciation for the gifts these categories bring into your life.
  4. Now decide to catch someone doing it right – your partner, child, friend or work colleague. Notice something they do which pleases you and tell them so.

 

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Gaining Perspective

By on September 4, 2002 in Meta Org Blog, Self awareness, Ways of thinking

Have you had a summer holiday? I remember when I went to Italy during the summer and was lucky enough to spend three days in Sicily whilst Etna was erupting. We were able to see the incredible sight of a red river of lava, and hear and feel the immense rumbling and thundering which accompanies the eruption.

When stood by such a powerful example of nature at its work, you have to recognise how mundane and temporary our own stories are by comparison.

Whether we are disrupted by changes happening in our lives, or feeling powerful and important because we are being change agents in some way, the immensity of what nature does reminds us to get it all back into perspective.

Who we are and what we do is important and we do have an impact on the world, but we need to be reminded sometimes that there is more to it than our little piece, and we have to work in accord with the grander plan. We also need to remember that whatever is happening now in our lives, this too will pass, and life goes on.

Homework

  1. What experience of nature has reminded you to regain perspective on your life? Remember it again now
  2. What life event at the time seemed all-consuming, but has now become less important, merely another lesson, when you look back? Reflect on its true perspective in your life.
  3. In what way are you working in accord with the grander plan? Reflect on how you play your part.

 

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Time For A Spring Clean

By on September 4, 2002 in Change, Living fully, Meta Org Blog

The clocks have gone forward, spring is in the air, and it’s time for spring cleaning. This usually sounds like an onerous job, so I would like to give you a few tips for spring cleaning your life in a simple and fun way.

All you have to do is to identify one area of your life where you wish it were different – a habit, behaviour, or thought that has become outdated in your life. Most of us have several things in this category! The problem we have is that it is generally considered to be hard work to shift something which has been a part of our lives up till now. And maybe we can do it quite simply, by approaching it in a different way.

Homework

  1. Consider the outdated thing and find a metaphorical equivalent for it in your home or possessions, e.g. rowing with your partner might be represented by that ornament that your aunt gave you years ago, or slumping in front of the tv might be represented by the cushion on your favourite chair.
  2. Take the item and get rid of it – unless it is a whole room in which case you might be better to just re-decorate it!
  3. Now imagine how you want to be instead, e.g. pleasant after work, or energetic.
  4. What would represent this new state or behaviour for you metaphorically? Have some fun going out and looking for a replacement metaphor, e.g. a pair of lovely bud vases, or a new cushion with vibrant colours. By the way, it need not be anything that costs – it could just be a pretty pebble.
  5. Now ‘invest’ the new object with how you want to be: ” You are my being pleasant after work symbol”, and place it somewhere you will see it frequently.
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Appreciating Difference

By on September 4, 2002 in Meta Org Blog, relating to others

As we start a New Year, we usually all resolve to do something different. Most of the time, our resolutions are about being a better person in some way.

For me, a speech given by Bill Clinton as the Dimbleby lecture made me think about how judgmental we can be. It is so easy to, as he said, ‘put people in boxes’.

I have seen and spoken to a variety of old friends this Christmas. Some of them are housewives, some are chief executives, and some have still not decided what they want to do with their lives. They provide me with plenty of opportunities to put them in boxes: good/bad use of their talents; boring/interesting; as they were/changed – the list goes on and on.

But whatever it is that they are doing or not doing, they are all special human beings. And if this is true of so many different people that I know, perhaps it is true of those I don’t know so well.

So my New Year’s resolution is to be more appreciative of the value of people’s differences, and to delight in our common humanity. It’s easy with some, and harder with others, but it is undoubtedly a great way to change the world a little more!

Homework

  1. Look at yourself and notice where you judge yourself to be lacking in some way. Now appreciate that quality in yourself – it makes it easier to do the same with other people.
  2. Take 3 people you know and identify what makes them special
  3. Smile with an open heart at the next person you see whom you have judged to be deficient in some way

 

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What is emotional intelligence?

By on September 4, 2002 in emotional intelligence, Meta Org Blog, Self awareness, Ways of thinking

So, what is it? It is the reminder that we all do have emotions and are often led to act by them, but if we don’t acknowledge their part in our decision-making, we are likely to be reactive rather than responsive. It used to be called wisdom, or common sense, but, as Robert Cooper says, the trouble with common sense is that it is rarely practised.

When you use your emotional intelligence, you recognise, value and use your emotional reactions constructively. You know that you are in control of your reactions, and consider the consequences before simply acting on them.

For example, we all get frustrated in a traffic jam. Not using your emotional intelligence leads to being driven by your frustration. So you end up stressed at least, and sometimes it can develop into road rage, or causing accidents.

And if you stop for a moment and consider, you realise that the frustration is not constructive, and will not change the situation. Using your emotional intelligence is more likely to lead to putting on some favourite music, thinking about some issue you have to resolve, or just enjoying the countryside you can see.

On the positive side, most of us have ‘had a good idea’ – something that came spontaneously, which we then dismissed as being impractical, irrelevant, or illogical. If we use our emotional intelligence, we often realise then, rather than when it is too late, that the idea is worth following through on.

Homework

Take 4 of your ‘instant reactions this week and just stop and ask yourself the following questions before either dismissing them or simply reacting:

1. How does this help me to live my life well?

2. How will this make a positive difference?

3. What will be the effect of this in the future?

As you hear the inner responses to the questions, make sure that you listen to your heart as well as your head – if your heart sings, you are on the right track!

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Friendship

By on September 4, 2002 in Meta Org Blog, relating to others, Uncategorized

Over the last couple of months I have really become aware of just how many wonderful friends I have. They come from all the different stages and environments of my life, ranging from people I’ve known since school days, to people I have met through work, to the people who run our local general store.

And they have made my somewhat turbulent life easier in all sorts of ways: by giving me a delicious sandwich for a picnic lunch as I was rushing off; sharing a laugh and a bottle of wine; listening to me when I was upset; doing a task they knew I would put off – the list goes on and on.

This has made me realise yet again just how precious friendship is, and what a difference it makes to our life. It is vital to reaffirm friendships, and continue to build them.

At Meta we firmly believe in making friends with our customers and suppliers. It is much more fun than having a distant, purely professional relationship, and brings joy into parts of work that people often have problems with. When we phone or make direct contact with people, we look forward to the conversation, and we believe that they usually enjoy the chat too.

Wouldn’t life be different if most of those you dealt with in your everyday life were friends of yours??

Homework

  1. Express your appreciation of the friendship of those around you
  2. Treat a customer or supplier as you would a friend – just chat to them like a real human being and be interested in them and their world.
  3. Be a good friend to someone by just doing a little something which makes a positive difference in their lives.

 

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Emotional Resilience

By on September 4, 2002 in emotional intelligence, Meta Org Blog, Ways of thinking

An aspect of emotional intelligence that we don’t often pay attention to is the ability to ‘bounce back’ when something unexpected happens. This can be anything from an unexpected traffic jam which makes you late, to a bereavement or drastic change of work circumstances. It is so easy to get knocked back in our culture. We tend to see the world as conspiring against us anyway, and so fall too easily into self-pity and being a victim of circumstance. If we were to view the world as ‘on our side’, then we would look for the gain from the change. When we develop emotional resilience, we react differently.

We forgive ourselves if our initial reaction is negative, and just let it go.

We pick ourselves up and get on with things, just like a child who has fallen over when learning to walk
We consider what the learning is for us in the particular circumstance, and actively take the learning.

Homework

Take an example where life dealt you an unexpected blow in the past. What have you/could you learn from it, in a positive sense?

Identify 4 ways in which the world has conspired with you, by offering you unexpected changes.
As you receive some ‘knock’ this month, stop and go through the process stated above.

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Are You Spiritually Intelligent?

By on September 4, 2002 in emotional intelligence, Living fully, Meta Org Blog, Self awareness

It sounds so high and mighty, doesn’t it – spiritual intelligence..  I know that when I first came across the phrase, I thought that it would be something to do with being saintly and I knew that I would never match up!

Yet actually, it is more to do with being in touch with your heart and living your life to the full. Characteristics of those who have developed their spiritual intelligence are such things as enthusiasm, energy, cheerfulness, persistence, peacefulness and compassion. They are not a million miles away from being a reasonable human being who hasn’t lost all their delightful childlike attributes.

My mother-in law was a prime example of this, although she wouldn’t claim it for herself. Whatever happened, her attitude was ‘oh well, I expect it will work out for the best’ and her only concern was that no-one should be hurt by it. At 82, she delighted in riding her bicycle, going to her clubs, being in her garden, watching the snooker on tv and receiving presents on her birthday – see what I mean about childlike?

We all have these attributes in us – we were born with them. So how are you demonstrating your spiritual intelligence?

Homework

  1. Find 3 things each day to be grateful for
  2. Enjoy and use your sense of humour
  3. Find 5 minutes to be peacefully quiet for the next few weeks

 

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