Tag Archives | personal development

How is your world today?

By on July 7, 2006 in Meta Org Blog, Ways of thinking

This morning the world feels good to me. All my useful beliefs are running well, and I feel able to do anything that comes my way, and bring the things I want my way. Mornings like this are lovely, because I am more effective, happier, and just good!!

So why aren’t they all like this? I have the evidence that this attitude works well for me, and for those around me, yet I still slip into old habits of feeling the pressure, and running less than useful beliefs about it. And I am one of the lucky ones – I have more freedom to do my work the way I want to than most, and also do work that I really love and care about.

We are so well trained into the belief that things are how they are, that we don’t make a choice about how they are, but simply have to put up with it. Most of us have heard it all our lives!

We need to be constantly reminded that we do have a choice, and that overall, life is good, if we want to live by our own set of rules. I find it useful to have tapes, cd’s, books that remind me, and to take a little taste every day. It is also useful to have some people that you can contact when you are slipping, who will hep you to remember that there is another way.

And finally, it is vital to forgive ourselves when we do slip – beating ourselves up only perpetuates the bad feelings. So next time you realise that you have forgotten to choose to make your life feel good, congratulate yourself, and laugh and have another go!

So, how is your world today? If it’s crap, remind yourself that it doesn’t have to be, laugh, and start again. If it feels good, delight in it, and use it well – you have come past that age old conditioning yet again – how excellent!

 

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GOING SLOW

By on June 1, 2006 in health+well being, Resourcing yourself

Some years ago, I read a book called “Stopping “ by David Kudtz.  It made an impression on me, I think mainly because I rarely did – stop, that is!  And, for a short while, I did put some “stops” into my life – times when I did nothing, and just allowed life to go by for an hour or two – but it didn’t really stick as a habit.

Now having just spent some time in one of my favourite places, Provence in France, I have realised that one of the reasons I love it there is because the cultural habit is going slow.  I may not have learnt to stop, but I’m pretty good at going slow some of the time, and I’m inclined to increase the habit.

When you sit down in a pavement café, the waiters assume you are going slow, so they don’t rush to serve you, or to ask for payment.  This is not poor service, it’s respectful service, respecting your right to go slow.

It is easy to become impatient when you are used to an “instant response and action” type of life, yet relax into the go slow culture, and you begin to notice the advantages:

  • Proper attention paid to detail – the arrangement of food, the laying of the table
  • Time for contact between human beings – smiles, conversations
  • Things get done, effectively and pleasantly
  • No tempers of frustration, but a tranquil atmosphere
  • A sense of spaciousness in time, instead of it rushing by
  • Room to notice what’s happening around you

OK, it may not be appropriate in our culture to run on “go slow” time all the time.  And sometimes, we may give ourselves permission to slow down for an hour or two in the day, and take that time to reflect, to refresh ourselves.

I love go slow starts to the day, with time to consider, before rushing into action.  And gardening is definitely a go slow activity for me. Maybe it is reading the Sunday newspaper, or having a meal or drink with friends for you.

And how else can we put some go slow time into our busy lives?  I intend to experiment, because I feel so much more as if I’m living my life when I go slow for a while.  I also regain perspective, and feel refreshed by that change of pace.  Why not join me in the experimentation, and see what some “going slow” does for you!!

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The Rhythm of Life

By on March 10, 2006 in Meta Org Blog, Resourcing yourself, Self awareness

We all know that we have a natural rhythm – no, I don’t mean your ability to dance! – I mean the rhythm of our energy levels. Some of us are full of energy first thing in the morning, some of us last thing at night, and all of us tend to go up and down during the day in different ways. We know this because if we stop for a moment and reflect on how we are feeling, we will notice that we are sluggish or energised, blurry or focused – you know what I mean..

What is sad is that we are not taught to work with our natural rhythms – in fact the opposite is true for most of us. We are taught to ignore them. Yet if we want to be excellent, our ability to manage our energy is paramount.

We have four types of energy – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Each type need scaring for, and to be given a chance to refresh.

  • If I have sat still for a while, I need to move my body, feed it, and revitalise my physical energy.
  • If I have been concentrating on something mentally, I need to give my mind a rest, by doing something ‘mindless’ or enjoyable  with my mind – or even switching to another form of activity – that walk we need regularly.
  • If I have been engaged in something that is emotionally draining – even if it is a positive form of draining, I need to do something that just gives me joy for a while, without any effort on my part
  • And every so often, I need to make sure that I feel that what I am doing is purposeful and worthwhile, to refresh my spiritual energy – and if it doesn’t feel that way, I need to find ways of feeling that – by switching what I am doing, on a macro- or micro-level.

Scientists have researched our energy levels and what affects them in considerable depth. There is a consensus of opinion that we need to recharge our physical, mental and emotional levels of energy every 1.5 to 2 hours.  How many of us do that? And without the feeling of purposefulness, all of us sink into a dreary view of everything we do – the daily drudgery..

It doesn’t take long to recharge, and as those of you who have been on programmes with us will know, there are many techniques you can use to help you. Without the recharging, we become automatons, and never fulfil our potential. What a waste!

So just stop and reflect on how you can keep yourself charged, and allow yourself to be at your best this month – you will gain from it, and so will the world!

 

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Possibilities

By on March 4, 2006 in Meta Org Blog, Self awareness, Ways of thinking

There is a basic tenet in Eastern Philosophies around being in the present moment.  And we can believe we are living to this when we caught up in our everyday stuff.  Yet there is an important distinction we need to be aware of.

When we are “caught up” in the everyday, we are on automatic, following historical habits of reaction, or thinking.  We are doing the moment, not being in the moment.

When we are truly here now, it is a spacious place, full of possibility.  We have choices about how we react, how we proceed, what we do next, how we think about things.

This is when everything is open to possibility.  Instead of saying “this must come next,” we can say, “what shall I do next?”  Instead of saying,”It’s obvious,” we can say, “what are the possibilities?”

This spaciousness of the moment offers us several very valuable gifts.

  • A release from habitual thinking and doing
  • A break from historical assumptions
  • A sense of controlling our own destiny
  • A broader view of our future

We can apply it to “big stuff” – times of transition in our lives, and we can also get the habit of taking that break by applying it to the “small stuff”- the rush into the next task on the list, the move from duties at work to duties at home.  It takes us a breathspace to move into being in the moment, and a breathspace to recognise we have choices, and one more breathspace to make a choice that is more comfortable and uses possibility instead of necessity as the driver.

Can you spare 3 breathspaces once in  a while in your busy life, to enhance your possibilities? Have a go, and see how much richer life can be, with such a simple application of being in the moment!!

 

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THE ESSENTIALS OF LIFE ‘ HEALTH

By on May 1, 2004 in Meta Org Blog, Resourcing yourself

This is the time of year when we make resolutions to eat more healthily, take more exercise, and then have a really unpleasant cold, wet day, and curl up in front of the TV with a box of chocolates!

It is curious that we are obsessed with health, yet are now far more unhealthy than our predecessors. Their way of life involved much more physical activity as part of the everyday living and we can decide to compensate for our sedentary lives by taking the odd walk, climbing stairs instead of taking lifts or escalators, and just moving our bodies a bit more.

And there is more to health than just being physically in shape. The word health comes from the same root as the word healing, and it means being whole. When we only pay attention to the physical side of our health, we are ignoring the wholeness of ourselves. All the different aspects of us are interlinked, and whilst keeping myself in physical good shape can help with the other parts, it is not enough, as the other parts can also dramatically affect our physical state.

So we also need to ask: what state is my mind in? what state is my heart in? what state is my spirit in? these are not questions that we are taught to ask of ourselves, and we often have no conscious awareness of what is happening with our minds, hearts and spirits. This is exacerbated by the fact that they are parts of us that can keep going despite the knocks for longer than our bodies. The damage to them tends to be slow-growing and we only notice when it has reached crisis proportions, or when some life-threatening event happens to us or someone close to us, and prompts us to consider the bigger picture of our lives.

An easy way to discover how those parts of you are feeling is to describe them as metaphors. For example, my mind feels like a sleepy bear ready to hibernate, or my heart feels like a blossoming scented flower, or my spirit feels like it is in a cage, wanting to be free.

If you like the metaphor, then that part of you is fine, if you don’t, imagine how you would like to change the metaphor to be how you want to be. For example, I would prefer my mind to feel like the bear ready to come out of its hibernation, hungry and motivated. Imagine what that would feel like, and then ask yourself to move towards that over the next few days. If you feel resistance, you can ask yourself, what would help me to be like that? And add that into your life!

This year, when you make those new year resolutions, remember to include one for your mind, heart and spirit, to encourage them to thrive as well!

 

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WHAT IS WELL-BEING?

By on February 12, 2004 in health+well being, Living fully, Meta Org Blog, Resourcing yourself

I have read many books on improving your life. They range from the ‘quick-fix’ Western-style self-help books to the great philosophical and spiritual masters, and there is no doubt that I have learnt from their words of wisdom, and been reminded again and again of techniques and mind-sets that help us to find well-being.

Yet examples of people living in their well-being seem few and far between in our culture. And then I spend ten days in India, and I experience hundreds of examples: the ‘room-boy’ at our hotel, the shop-keeper selling sacks, the priest in the temple, the woman sitting at her stall of fruit, the man who made the naan bread in the street restaurant – everywhere I looked, I could see people with a ready smile, a sense of purpose, and an ability to appreciate the small daily pleasures of being alive.

What have we lost? And how can we regain it? It is clearly not linked to wealth or status, but to a mindset that filters for the reasons to celebrate being alive.

It seems to me that we have learnt too well how to forget what really matters in life. As human beings, we need to feed our bodies, our minds and our spirits on a daily basis, in order to feel whole, and have a sense of well-being. Yet often we are too busy to do this.

We may stuff our bodies with food, but do we eat well, do we care for our bodies? We may stuff our minds with thoughts, but do they nurture and expand our minds, or just cause them to contract with fears and anxieties? And how often do we even consider feeding our spirit?

This weekend you could take the opportunity to stop and consider how you can enhance your well-being.

  1. 1.  Feeding our bodies

We have become used to eating too much. How about having one day where you only eat fresh food, freshly prepared, that you really fancy. And on that day, treat your body well – a massage, a gentle walk, a long bath – something to care for your body.

  1. 2.  Feeding the mind

Most of us have a good book that we haven’t got round to reading. It may be an inspirational one, or just a really good story – and if you don’t have any, look at some of our reviews for ideas! Give yourself a couple of afternoons to sit cosy and warm, with a good book – or if you aren’t a reader, choose a ‘feel-good’ movie instead!

  1. 3.  Feeding the spirit

Our world is full of simple ways of feeding our spirits. We know our spirit is being fed when we can’t help but smile, when we feel that warm glow of pleasure. Nature is a rich source of spirit food: the delight of a crisp winter’s day, the sound of a river or stream. Or really take the time to watch your children’s excitement at something new, or just smile at strangers in the street, and see how many smile back!

We may all lead busy lives, but we need to remember to live each day, not just get through it. There is always time to give a little food to our bodies, our minds and our spirits.

Maybe then we will be closer to well-being.

 

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ESSENTIALS OF LIFE ‘ OUR SENSE OF TOUCH

By on January 6, 2004 in health+well being, Living fully, Meta Org Blog, Resourcing yourself

Have you stopped and really felt the sun on your face or back?  It is one of the most life giving sensations we experience, particularly after a long, dull, wet winter.

Have you touched a feathery –looking plant, and delighted in its softness, a caress from nature just for you.

Have you reached out to another human being, and felt the warmth of a mutual hug, where both of you are reminded that we are essentially loving and feeling creatures?

So many of us are too busy and wrapped up in our own worlds to stop and take a moment to touch and feel the texture and warmth of the world around us.  Yet our sense of touch enriches the experience we have of the world around us.

Some friends visited recently, with their young son.  He looked at all the things in my house, then went round and picked things up and felt them.  He even put some of them in his mouth to taste them!  Children know that to really experience what something has to offer, you need to try it out with as many senses as possible.  This knowing doesn’t go away as we grow up – it just gets buried under the instructions to not touch, not to put things in your mouth, not to stare.

Many of us find it unattractive to shop on the internet, and I suspect that the inability to ‘get a feel’ for something plays a part in that.  Next time you are in a shop. Just watch how many people pick things up and look at them, often unconscious of how important the feel of the object is.

Don’t deprive yourself of touching!  Reach out to everything and everyone that gives you pleasure, and allow yourself to be enriched for that moment.

HOMEWORK

  1. Hug someone everyday
  2. Don’t just look at a lovely plant, get a feel for it as well
  3. Notice the sunshine on your skin

 

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BEING YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND

By on March 7, 2003 in Living fully, Meta Org Blog, Self awareness, Ways of thinking

It’s so easy to be hard on ourselves! We have all been well-trained in being critical, and we are great at turning that ability on ourselves. So we notice what we haven’t done rather than what we have done in a day, or we beat ourselves up for saying the wrong thing instead of remembering how often we say the right thing.

I bet you not only criticise yourself, you also sometimes reject praise or compliments by running yourself down! I know I can say things like, ‘ Oh it’s really someone else’s idea’, or ‘ no, I don’t look good today – your eyesight is obviously not as good as it was!’ This is not just insulting to the complimenter, it is also a less than useful message to yourself.

All this is telling ourselves that we are no good, and that is a lousy message to give anyone! So I want you to consider another possibility. Just for a while, imagine that you are your best friend. I bet the description of you would be different if they gave it! Friends are kinder to us than we are to ourselves, and they set us a good example of how we deserve to be treated. When we are treated kindly, we don’t get arrogant, we get even nicer! It reminds us of us at our best, and helps us to be like that more often.

So why not decide to be your own best friend for the rest of the month?

Homework

  1. Spend a few minutes describing your characteristics as if you were your own best friend.
  2. At the end of each day, find something to praise yourself about
  3. Next time you criticise yourself, remind yourself to be kind to you!
  4. Dare to give yourself a present for being such a lovely person!

 

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VITALITY

By on March 6, 2003 in health+well being, Living fully, Meta Org Blog, Resourcing yourself, Ways of thinking

The sun is shining this morning as I write this, and if I were a child, I would know that it was a wonderful day.

Yet as an adult, my view of the moment is coloured by all the other things I am told about how the world is working, through the news, magazines etc. so rather than celebrate the glorious day, I can easily get caught up in the difficulties and doom and gloom and forget to just live today.

Who has it right??

It seems that we normally need a life threatening event to wake us up to the beauty of the moment by moment of life, but there is no rule that I know of that says that we have to wait for something traumatic to be able to really appreciate and delight in being alive.

When I was little, I went to Sunday school, and I can still remember being told that I should count my blessings each day. What a lovely concept! And over the years, I have come to understand how useful that can be. We always have a choice: to moan about all the things that are wring, for us personally and in the world in general, or to count our blessings. Which makes me feel better? Which makes me more able to handle whatever comes my way? The answer seems so obvious!

I went to see Bruce Springsteen perform this week. I had a bad back, and could have made it worse by standing in a stadium with thousands of others. But I knew better. I knew that there are few better cures for feeling miserable than to go and be inspired by the sheer joie de vivre of this performer! For three hours, I danced, sung and laughed with delight, as he took us on a journey of celebrating being alive.

As Bruce would say: ‘ How can we get this thing started? Let’s have a party!’ So come on, count your blessings and celebrate being alive!

Homework

  1. Stop for a moment and count your blessings today
  2. Find four things to delight in today
  3. Give yourself a present today
  4. Do this every day for a month, no matter what is going on in your life

 

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THE TROUBLE WITH MONEY

By on January 3, 2003 in emotional intelligence, Meta Org Blog, Self awareness, Ways of thinking

Do you ever worry about not having enough money?  For living, for that holiday, for retirement ……  I know, I can sometimes get caught in the scarcity fears – by the way, if you don’t, please let us know your “secret”?!!

Yet I know that when I think poor, I am poor, and when I think abundance, I notice abundance.  Does this make any sense to you?

We are taught to regard money as the means of being wealthy in our culture, and also to always feel as if we don’t have enough.

Yet we live in an abundant world, where happiness comes from snowdrops flowering, not from money in the bank.  Snowdrops herald the arrival of Spring, first signs of new growth. Money in the bank causes us anxiety, as interest rates go down and it loses value even when we have it.

What would happen if we decided to be rich and enjoy the abundance of the world, instead of worrying about money?  Maybe then it would be put back into perspective.  It’s one of many forms of energy that we can share in.  Perhaps if we paid attention to some of the others, we would reduce the fear, and allow the money we need to come our way!

Just as the fear of losing a relationship can often be enough to become a self-fulfilling prophecy, perhaps the fear of not having enough money is the reason why so many of us seem to not have enough!

Why not experiment with putting money worries to one side for a month and instead enjoy the abundance of new growth in Spring, laughter with friends and the exuberance of children?

Homework :

  1. Buy yourself a small present to make you smile, no matter how poor you feel this month.
  2. Notice what makes you happy that doesn’t require money.
  3. Bless what money you do have and then give a little of it away!

 

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