Tag Archives | BEING HAPPY

MAGIC

I was given a book by the magician David Blaine a while ago, and have found it an irresistible read. I was already fascinated by him because he seems to do magic in a different way to any I have seen before. His book both confirms that belief and explains some of the reasons why.

It has made me think about what magic really is. I have always loved the idea of magic, but been disappointed by the tricks that are usually called by that name. They seem to demean something very special that for me is linked to things like fairies, wizards and the things we classify as miracles. I feel that true magic has a positive effect in some way, and will make us question what we think is possible.

At one stage, the word became a popular way of saying that something was special, or exciting and that felt like a good use of it…

Over Christmas, did you see the face of a child filled with wonder at the magic of Father Christmas? Did you wish that you could experience the magic of those first snowflakes settling on the ground?

We forget to notice the simple everyday magic that surrounds us: the skyscapes on a clear winter’s day, the dew in a spider’s web, the excited grin on a child’s face, the birth of another special human being, the sense of wonder at the amazing world we live in, filled with amazing people.

Homework

  1. Where do you see everyday magic?
  2. What magic can you create for others and for yourself?

 

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IT’S KID’S STUFF!

This is a story from my childhood, and since my mum tells it best I’ll allow her to tell you it:

“Jo came home from school one day rather upset because he had got a bad mark for his drawing. I asked him what he had been drawing, and he pulled out his picture to show me. It was a banana. He looked at it and at me and said tearfully, “My teacher said that I should have coloured it yellow – but that’s not really true is it mum?” Jo had coloured his banana green, yellow, orange, brown and black. I agreed with him that bananas could be all these colours and tried to explain to him that adults forget to look properly. I eventually worked out how to make it right: We gave him A+ for his picture and his teacher, D- for her mark! “

This month’s workshop is about children’s creativity, and how we, as grown-ups can play with it!

I had no doubt that that banana was all those colours, and I drew what I saw – green, black, brown, orange and yellow – but narrow-minded, non-imaginative teachers teach us that bananas are yellow, oranges, orange apples, green etc. We are taught not to believe what our imaginations tell us we see – we are taught an adult view of the world. Incidentally, adult literally means to spoil, and has the same root as adulterate and adultery, hence our preferred word here at Meta – grown-ups.

As a child, our imagination is absolutely as real as the ‘real world’ we see with our eyes. I remember being at a house where my then girlfriend was an au-pair to two young kids. They were playing – with absolutely no toys or props, simply their imaginations.

‘What are you doing?’ I asked naively,

‘What does it look like?’ answered the boy somewhat incredulously. ‘I’m selling plums from my market stall!!’

Kids’ imaginations fill their drawings and creations. I don’t know about you, but my imagination has been somewhat dulled by an education that severely lacked any! And  by the ‘real world’ of being an adult and all the responsibilities that entails. Wouldn’t it be nice to dream and create like children again – allow ourselves the time to play and daydream!

This month’s workshop challenges you to play like children, no real fancy props needed, just your imagination and whatever you find around you. After all, kids can create with virtually anything – Blue Peter is a testament to that!

Homework – (or PLAY..or FUN..)

Here are a few suggestions for helping you to regress to childhood and enjoy some child-like play and creation..

It is important to remember that when a child creates, everything it does is perfect, there’s no such thing as a bad drawing or a ‘I can’t do this’..

  1. Paper and pens and squiggly lines (You know what I mean – and if anyone asks, just tell them it’s a banana or something equally obscure..)
  2. Crayons – go play with crayons: houses with smoke coming out the chimney, I can see it now.
  3. Tissue paper – remember those Easter cards you made at school?
  4. Glitter and glue and pasta shapes
  5. Making cards for people – let your imagination run wild
  6. Drawing people – draw your friends’ portraits, capture their essence, like a child would – accuracy not required
  7. Finger painting – go on, get dirty!
  8. Face painting – what a perfect party ice-breaker!
  9. Paper mache – balloons out, wallpaper paste at the ready!
  10. Spray painting – straws and lots of watery paints and of course, some puff!

 

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Filling Your Fuel Tank

Imagine that you have a fuel tank which contains your energy and resourcefulness. Most people tend to empty their fuel tanks faster than they fill it, so the orange light is constantly flashing on their dashboard. When your fuel tank is almost empty you will never perform at your best – that requires a full tank of energy and resourcefulness.

How full is your fuel tank?

It simple to top it up. Every time you smile or feel good, you put some fuel in – it need only take a breathspace. We call it having treats and we recommend that you have hundreds of treats every day.

A treat is anything which makes you smile or feel good that you can access through your senses: sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch.

Homework

1. Make a list of possible treats for each of your senses
2. Allow yourself at least one breathspace an hour for a treat

The world is full of potential treats, so exploit the possibilities and make yourself feel good.

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Happiness

As we start the new year, it seems appropriate to ask how we can make life a happier experience for all of us – let’s make a positive difference.

Keeping your fuel tank filled – see previous blogs – is a good start, because that will help you to be more positive in your outlook on life.

But what about those who have a negative effect on you, and seem to take that positivity away? Not only do they disturb your happiness, they also suffer a lack of happiness themselves – it is the rare person who really feels good when they are causing others to feel bad.

There are ways we can change this effect, to the benefit of all parties involved.

  1. Don’t give away your power! Remember that we choose to allow something to affect us. After all, what to one person is a disaster, to another person is an exciting adventure – they have obviously made different choices about how to react. So choose to react differently to the person. Imagine their comment or attitude as a brief rain shower which temporarily wets you and then dries up. Even better, imagine that you have an invisible shield which protects you from getting wet at all!
  2. Even more powerfully, experiment with how you can change their reaction to you, which causes them to behave in a way which affects you badly. Step into their shoes for as moment. From their perspective, what could you do differently that would provoke a different and more useful behaviour in them? We often unwittingly provoke just the behaviour we don’t like and by making a change in our own attitude or behaviour we can change theirs.

Homework

  1. Practise using your invisible shield when someone next seems to want to offend you or upset you in some way.
  2. Take a person that you always seem to have a negative reaction to. Imagine you are them, and ask yourself, ‘what would make me behave more positively with …?’ Use the answer to guide your behaviour next time you encounter them.

 

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Life is a bitch and then you die, or: Life is a beach and then you fly

I was reminded again recently of how powerful the culturally given beliefs are – you know, those things we know are true, because things happen which reinforce them.  For example, we can probably all find evidence in our personal experience that people are not to be trusted, or that the world is not a fair place.  It is interesting to notice that we can also find evidence that the opposite is true. Most of us have experienced people being trustworthy, or something which felt very fair and just.

The evidence we choose to notice will affect how we expect others or the world to be.  It really is our choice: evidence for all beliefs is there for us, otherwise no-one would believe them!

And have you noticed how we tend to get what we expect?  This is because we give off an unconscious message that tells the person how we are viewing them, and nine times out of ten, they “play the game” and respond how we expect them to.

So why make life harder than it already is?  Decide to believe what is more useful to you, and start collecting evidence!

Homework :

1.       Next time you need help from someone, assume that they will be helpful.  Imagine them being open to your request, and see what happens.

2.       When you come across someone who is optimistic about life, find out what they believe about people, and about how the world works.  Deliberately look for evidence which supports their belief.  (If you are already optimistic, list some of your own evidence).

 

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Having Enthusiasm

Have you noticed how infectious enthusiasm is? We all respond to someone who obviously has put their heart and soul into something rather than just their intellect.

The word enthusiasm originally means ‘inspired by God’ or ‘the God within’. This may sound off-putting to some of you, but it captures well the sense that enthusiasm is heart- or spirit-based, and therefore appeals to us at a deeper level.

An example I came across recently is of someone who works for Virgin airlines. She is a member of the ground crew, doing an apparently ‘ordinary’ job, yet she talked for half an hour of how much she loves what she does and whom she works for. She saw her job as important to the company’s success, and gave her all to it willingly, because the company also made sure that she was cared for, and had her own life as well.

To invoke enthusiasm in others like that, we need to ensure that they feel valued and important, and that their individuality is appreciated.

To invoke it in ourselves we need to find what makes our heart sing in our work, and build on that.

Homework

  1. When are you enthusiastic? Look for what makes your heart sing at work.
  2. When do you encourage others to be enthusiastic? Look for opportunities to make others feel valued and important, and cared for.

 

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Inside Out

Have you noticed how your mood and state always seem to be how the world is at that time? When we feel good, the world seems full of good news and friendly people; when we feel down, there is always more to be gloomy about!

This is no accident of fate. It is about what we are using to filter the possible information around us. When I feel low, I have on the ‘reasons to feel low’ filter, so I notice lots of them.

It makes sense, therefore, to always work ‘inside out’. That means I work on me first, then start looking outwards. If I can change my mood, I will change what I notice, and will be able to have a more positive impact.

Homework.

  1. Notice how the world reflects your mood.
  2. Give yourself treats to make you feel good, and notice how the world also feels easier to handle.

 

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Laughter

I have been spending time with friends recently. The obvious activity was almost irrelevant. What matters is that we have laughed! It wasn’t because we were doing something humorous – it was because we had decided to have fun and to enjoy each other’s company.

How often do we remember that we have the power to decide what an activity will be like? And how often do we remember that laughter can transform the dreariest of tasks?

Laughter is a lovely way to stay healthy – it is proven to enhance our immune system. It is also a good way to share goodwill with others, and keep ourselves spiritually healthy: laughing together links us back into the fundamentals of life and gives us a common bond.

Can you afford to be serious?

Homework

  1. Watch someone who is laughing wholeheartedly this week, and see if you can resist joining in!
  2. Find something boring to do, a friend or colleague to do it with, and laugh as you tackle it!

 

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Being Doing Having

Don’t we all say, sometimes: ‘If only I could win the lottery, then I could go on lots of holidays (or whatever our own dream is) and I would be happy.  Yet every ancient philosophy in the world tells us that it actually works the other way round …. ‘If I choose to be happy, then I do things differently, and I can have anything I want’.

This is very challenging for our minds, which have been trained in the western culture of striving to attain.  We almost want to make it impossible to achieve our dreams, because that proves that we were right – only the lucky ones can do that, and they are very few.

Yet at a gut instinct level, we all know that when we are feeling good, we respond to things differently, and the world seems to work better for us.  It seems worth experimenting with, since we are, most of us, not about to win the lottery!  What would happen if you decided to be happy today?

Homework :

  1. Choose to be happy today, and just notice what happens.
  2. Act as if everything is working well for you for a day, and notice what happens.
  3. At least, practise smiling for a day, and notice what happens!
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THE HEALING POWER OF LAUGHTER

This week I was having one of those weeks when everything seemed too much: everyone seemed to be making unreasonable demands on me, I had an overwhelming list of things to do and it all looked like drudgery – sound familiar?

And then a good friend phoned and quickly picked up on my mood, and responded by making me laugh – big, belly laughs that continued long after the conversation was finished. My belly ached, but What a gift!! Nothing felt quite so important or overwhelming anymore, the tension had gone out of my body and mind, and paradoxically, I set to with a new vigour on my list of tasks, and cleared heaps of it!

Laughter is such a simple thing, that we sometimes forget how powerful it is. Physically, mentally and emotionally it is a healthy way to release tensions and negativity. Laughter reconnects us to our souls, our child-like nature, to our enjoyment of life.

Laughter is proven to trigger the release of endorphins (our pleasure giving drug) into our brains, and helps refill our ‘feel good’ tank when it is empty. When our energy tanks are full again, it’s always good to share a laugh or two with others, after all laughter was made to share! In fact it is incredibly infectious! So go ahead and spread some Laughter!

So…Homework:

  1. What do you have to make you laugh out loud? – Note if your list is short you may need to go out and buy yourself a funny treat!
  2. Help someone else to laugh this month – when life is getting them down make them laugh

 

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