changing behaviour

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THE TROUBLE WITH MONEY

By Di Kamp on January 3, 2003 in emotional intelligence, Meta Org Blog, Self awareness, Ways of thinking

Do you ever worry about not having enough money? For living, for that holiday, for retirement …… I know, I can sometimes get caught in the scarcity fears – by the way, if you don’t, please let us know your “secret”?!!

Yet I know that when I think poor, I am poor, and when I think abundance, I notice abundance. Does this make any sense to you?

We are taught to regard money as the means of being wealthy in our culture, and also to always feel as if we don’t have enough.

Yet we live in an abundant world, where happiness comes from snowdrops flowering, not from money in the bank. Snowdrops herald the arrival of Spring, first signs of new growth. Money in the bank causes us anxiety, as interest rates go down and it loses value even when we have it.

What would happen if we decided to be rich and enjoy the abundance of the world, instead of worrying about money? Maybe then it would be put back into perspective. It’s one of many forms of energy that we can share in. Perhaps if we paid attention to some of the others, we would reduce the fear, and allow the money we need to come our way!

Just as the fear of losing a relationship can often be enough to become a self-fulfilling prophecy, perhaps the fear of not having enough money is the reason why so many of us seem to not have enough!

Why not experiment with putting money worries to one side for a month and instead enjoy the abundance of new growth in Spring, laughter with friends and the exuberance of children?

Homework :

Buy yourself a small present to make you smile, no matter how poor you feel this month.
Notice what makes you happy that doesn’t require money.
Bless what money you do have and then give a little of it away!

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BRINGING OUT THE BEST IN YOURSELF

By Di Kamp on December 11, 2002 in Living fully, Resourcing yourself, Ways of thinking

When was the last time you felt really good about yourself? It is so easy to be self-damning, and so much harder to be self-congratulatory! And somehow in our culture we think that it is a good thing to run ourselves down. I can remember as a small child being told that just because I was a good speller didn’t mean that I should get bigheaded – but I wasn’t! I was just proud of my ability to spell…

Those who make the best of themselves know intuitively that they need to build on their strengths to get even better. They notice their own good points, and see how they can use these to enhance their not so good points. Just as we all thrive on positive feedback from others, we also thrive on positive feedback from ourselves!

So this month, why don’t you start giving yourself some feedback!

Homework

List 10 things you are really good at. It doesn’t matter what they are – work-related or personal
Each day notice 1 thing you do well and remind yourself of how you did it
When someone thanks you for something, or gives you positive feedback, don’t dismiss it – say thank you and revel in it!

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CREATING SPACE

By Di Kamp on November 10, 2002 in creativity, Living fully

We forget just how important our own creativity is to us. We walk around with this ‘art shaped hole’ and try to fill it with other things. The fact is we need art and creativity in our lives, it is a natural way of expressing the way we feel and helps us to shape our own identity, and define our own space in the world.

We are very good at making excuses for why we have not done our art – ‘I haven’t got the time, I haven’t got the right materials/tools, If only I had X I’d be doing it, I’m too happy right now to do my art- I need to be depressed, I don’t feel inspired, I was never that good at it anyway, that was something I did when I was younger, but I don’t have space for it in my life anymore, and the classic – I don’t have anywhere to do it.

Sound familiar?

I know, because I am guilty of avoiding my own creativity too. I play guitar. I have a very good guitar and a very good set-up, and I’m not too shabby at playing it either, but for 7 years now I’ve been making the excuse that I didn’t have a space to play it. Now I’ve moved into a much bigger place – I still haven’t played it! But I have at least set it up in its own space.

And that is what I want to talk to you about this month. Space.

That is, having a space where you go to create. I’m fortunate that I have the luxury in my new house of being able to have a room set aside for inspiration – my spirit and creation room. But it doesn’t have to be that grand. It can be a corner of a room, a fold down table, an outside garage, or the kitchen floor on a Sunday afternoon. The important thing is that you and your household know that that is your space for creating on a set day or time.

Once you know you have that space it is easier to create, and indeed for many artists, their studios have been a means to escape the outside world and be inspired.

So try and find your own space for creation. Start your own ‘Creating space’ – and above all, love what you do in it and make it as enjoyable and fun as possible!

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CREATIVITY AT THE SOURCE OF BUSINESS

By Di Kamp on November 10, 2002 in Ways of thinking, Working smarter

For many years, especially in the early days of running a small business, I never quite saw the link between creativity and my work. Creativity for me meant paint a picture, do a drawing, mould a piece of clay, even perhaps do a bit of singing. Then I started to discover that when I actually did something creative, work and my business seemed to flow that much easier. Here is another paystub maker online review which might help your business.

I started to question for myself what is creativity and saw that in actuality that creativity is full self-expression. It takes many forms and is a natural extension of our gifts. In coming to accept this realisation, I could begin to clearly see the link to the work I was doing. My work and the business I had created were my way to contribute and share that with others.

The more I accepted the concept that my creativity is my unique self-expression, I found myself with a magical way in which to clearly set my vision, values and actions for starting and maintaining a viable, sustainable business, and the more I allowed and activated my creativity the easier it became. One of the most helpful exercises I did was to actually define for myself what CREATIVITY meant to me, choosing words that inspired and energised me. It has become a powerful way of reminding myself of who I am and how to BE in relationship to my business:

C Clarity

R Release

E Ease

A Action

T Timely

I Insight

V Vital

I Inspired

T Transform

Y You

Homework:

I invite you to take some time to discover the meaning of creativity and what it means in your life and your business. Take 5-10 minutes of quiet time to remind yourself as to why you started your business.
Write down what creativity means to you, where is it present in your life, where has it made a difference.
Ask yourself where has the use of my creativity really helped in a work situation.

Take the word Creativity and choose powerful, inspiring words to spell it out, then post it somewhere to remind you.

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A DAY FOR YOU

By Di Kamp on September 11, 2002 in Living fully, Resourcing yourself

One of the most significant parts of being on holiday and on retreat for me was the practice of taking a day just for me. What does that mean?

It means choosing what you want to do without having to take others into account, and without the pressure of all the ‘oughts’ we usually have on our lists.

There were days when all I did was stare into space for hours, just being with the beautiful countryside. Other days were quite active, setting off early in the morning and deciding to visit something along the way that looked interesting.

Can you imagine giving yourself permission to have a day just for you? It is a wonderfully refreshing thing to do, and gives you a level of energy that can make the following days much more productive.

Homework

Identify a day in your diary when you could do whatever you wanted to
Either decide in advance what you will do, and have fun planning it
Or allow yourself to wake up on the day and decide according to your mood and the weather
As you go through your day, pay attention to the simple pleasures of life, and to your own needs, so often suppressed. If necessary, change your plans in response to yourself.

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CREATIVE COOKING

By Di Kamp on September 10, 2002 in creativity, Living fully

This month’s workshop is all about Creative Cooking. ‘Creative what?’ I hear you cry, well, just hear me out. I love cooking, especially when it’s for other people. I’ve always been creative with my cooking, I enjoy being different and I believe that my artistic drive often is reflected in the food I present to my friends. If we are to look at the finished dish on the plate as a finished piece of artwork, you can quickly begin to see the similarities. There is of course a need for a contrast and mixing of colours, textures and the ‘composition’ and placing of the food is paramount as so much of our ‘enjoyment’ of the food we eat is in its presentation.

The way I keep my cooking creative is to always try to mix colours, tastes and textures in new ways. I find that new cookery books infuse new life into my cooking but so does an almost empty fridge! I find I am at my most creative with dishes that are composed of whatever is left in the cupboards!

So, a few things for you to try this month…

1. Go buy a new easy to use cook book – infuse new life into your normal eating regime with the help of a well known chef!

2. Colour – Get funky and experiment with colour in your dishes, stir fry’s are great dishes for going wild with colours! – try yellow and orange peppers, yellow oyster mushrooms, white beansprouts, brown chestnut mushrooms..

3. Presentation – When you put the food on the plate, think of it as piece of art and make it look ‘too good to eat!’

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Life is a bitch and then you die, or: Life is a beach and then you fly

By Di Kamp on September 4, 2002 in Meta Org Blog, Ways of thinking

I was reminded again recently of how powerful the culturally given beliefs are – you know, those things we know are true, because things happen which reinforce them. For example, we can probably all find evidence in our personal experience that people are not to be trusted, or that the world is not a fair place. It is interesting to notice that we can also find evidence that the opposite is true. Most of us have experienced people being trustworthy, or something which felt very fair and just.

The evidence we choose to notice will affect how we expect others or the world to be. It really is our choice: evidence for all beliefs is there for us, otherwise no-one would believe them!

And have you noticed how we tend to get what we expect? This is because we give off an unconscious message that tells the person how we are viewing them, and nine times out of ten, they “play the game” and respond how we expect them to.

So why make life harder than it already is? Decide to believe what is more useful to you, and start collecting evidence!

Homework :

1. Next time you need help from someone, assume that they will be helpful. Imagine them being open to your request, and see what happens.

2. When you come across someone who is optimistic about life, find out what they believe about people, and about how the world works. Deliberately look for evidence which supports their belief. (If you are already optimistic, list some of your own evidence).

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Changing Your Habitual Thinking

By Di Kamp on September 4, 2002 in Meta Org Blog, relating to others, Ways of thinking

Most of us have learnt to think in limiting or negative ways. We consider problems rather than solutions, and notice what’s wrong rather than what’s right. We do this without even realising it, and it is well engrained as a habit.

So to break it, we need to practice doing something different with our brains: noticing what’s right.

There are simple and enjoyable ways of undertaking this practice. Here are a couple for you to play with.

HOMEWORK

Spend a few minutes thinking about the good points about your family, your work, and being the age you are. List at least ten good points for each category.
Now think of one way you could add another point to each list by taking some action.
And finally, think of a simple way you could show your appreciation for the gifts these categories bring into your life.
Now decide to catch someone doing it right – your partner, child, friend or work colleague. Notice something they do which pleases you and tell them so.

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Being In The Present

By Di Kamp on September 4, 2002 in Meta Org Blog, Resourcing yourself, Self awareness

Most of us spend large parts of our lives ignoring the messages we are being given, because we are not present – we are too busy thinking about what has already happened or what might happen.

The first messages to take notice of are the ones which our body gives us. When we ignore these we put our health at risk. Do you listen when your body says ‘I am hungry’ or ‘I am tired’? Most of us have learnt to work past these signals and just carry on as if we were robots.

How about taking notice of your body for a little while each day?

Homework

Spend two minutes every two hours listening to your body’s messages: do you need a break? Do you need a walk? Are you stiff or uncomfortable? Just noticing is the first step to doing something about it.
Before you eat, ask yourself what your body really wants right now. Does it want food at all or is it just the normal time to eat? Does it want the sweet food first?
Finally, notice how your body reacts when you go to reply to someone every so often: is it comfortable with your response?

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Happiness

By Di Kamp on September 4, 2002 in Meta Org Blog, relating to others, Ways of thinking, Working smarter

As we start the new year, it seems appropriate to ask how we can make life a happier experience for all of us – let’s make a positive difference.

Keeping your fuel tank filled – see previous blogs – is a good start, because that will help you to be more positive in your outlook on life.

But what about those who have a negative effect on you, and seem to take that positivity away? Not only do they disturb your happiness, they also suffer a lack of happiness themselves – it is the rare person who really feels good when they are causing others to feel bad.

There are ways we can change this effect, to the benefit of all parties involved.

Don’t give away your power! Remember that we choose to allow something to affect us. After all, what to one person is a disaster, to another person is an exciting adventure – they have obviously made different choices about how to react. So choose to react differently to the person. Imagine their comment or attitude as a brief rain shower which temporarily wets you and then dries up. Even better, imagine that you have an invisible shield which protects you from getting wet at all!
Even more powerfully, experiment with how you can change their reaction to you, which causes them to behave in a way which affects you badly. Step into their shoes for as moment. From their perspective, what could you do differently that would provoke a different and more useful behaviour in them? We often unwittingly provoke just the behaviour we don’t like and by making a change in our own attitude or behaviour we can change theirs.

Homework

Practise using your invisible shield when someone next seems to want to offend you or upset you in some way.
Take a person that you always seem to have a negative reaction to. Imagine you are them, and ask yourself, ‘what would make me behave more positively with …?’ Use the answer to guide your behaviour next time you encounter them.

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