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Prejudices

By on September 4, 2002 in Meta Org Blog, relating to others, Ways of thinking

It was World Aids Day yesterday and I was collecting for Aids charities and giving out red ribbons. The city was very busy with people doing their Christmas shopping, so it would seem as if it were a good time to be collecting for a cause. And of course there were many people who gave generously.

But there were also many people who studiously avoided us, and even some who made the effort to come and tell us that we were ‘doing the devil’s work’ to cite one of them!

It made me think about our prejudices – the way we make a judgement about something on relatively little information and refuse to consider any further evidence.

We all have prejudices, and some of them are useful, because they incline us to be kinder or more thoughtful. But we need to remember that the world is full of people who are different from us – not better or worse, just different.

It is the Christmas season, the season of goodwill towards all. For the next few weeks, let’s just check out if our prejudices are useful, and if not, perhaps we can suspend our judgement for long enough to offer some goodwill towards someone who we would normally have judged as not good enough in some way…

Homework

  1. Buy a copy of Big Issue next time you pass someone selling
  2. Smile at someone you work with who has always evoked a negative prejudice in you.
  3. List your useful prejudices and use them!

 

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Having Enthusiasm

By on September 4, 2002 in Living fully, Meta Org Blog, Self awareness, Working smarter

Have you noticed how infectious enthusiasm is? We all respond to someone who obviously has put their heart and soul into something rather than just their intellect.

The word enthusiasm originally means ‘inspired by God’ or ‘the God within’. This may sound off-putting to some of you, but it captures well the sense that enthusiasm is heart- or spirit-based, and therefore appeals to us at a deeper level.

An example I came across recently is of someone who works for Virgin airlines. She is a member of the ground crew, doing an apparently ‘ordinary’ job, yet she talked for half an hour of how much she loves what she does and whom she works for. She saw her job as important to the company’s success, and gave her all to it willingly, because the company also made sure that she was cared for, and had her own life as well.

To invoke enthusiasm in others like that, we need to ensure that they feel valued and important, and that their individuality is appreciated.

To invoke it in ourselves we need to find what makes our heart sing in our work, and build on that.

Homework

  1. When are you enthusiastic? Look for what makes your heart sing at work.
  2. When do you encourage others to be enthusiastic? Look for opportunities to make others feel valued and important, and cared for.

 

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Remembering

By on September 4, 2002 in Living fully, Meta Org Blog, Self awareness

We think of remembering as being linked to the past, but the word really means putting the pieces together – re-membering.

Spring is a great time to remember – to look at what you have and what you need to bring back together again. Nature is doing that right now. Plants you had forgotten about are showing their heads above ground again, and delighting you with their re-appearance.

We can do the same. What, during the long winter, has slipped away from your life? It may be walking out in the air and taking a breather, or it may be visiting with friends, or it may be allowing yourself to dream, to believe in possibilities.

As nature re-balances and grows itself again, so we need to re-balance ourselves, and grow our lives, our dreams

It doesn’t matter what level it is on – life-changing or just a simple way of enhancing your everyday – it’s a good time to re-member it!

Homework

  1. Take 5 minutes to think of something simple which has lost its place in your life and then do something to bring it back in – make that phone call, take that break now.
  2. Think of something that matters to you about the balance in your life and find a simple way of regaining some balance
  3. Think of something you want to grow in your life, and plan the first steps.

 

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Helping Other People

By on September 4, 2002 in Meta Org Blog, relating to others

We have all been encouraged to be helpful to others, and we often do this by trying to ‘fix’ things for them, and give them solutions to their problems. Our intentions are good, but we don’t always prove to be as helpful as we intended.

What we forget is that what would work for us won’t necessarily work for someone else. For example, I am planning to have Christmas holiday in the sun, and haven’t yet decided where to go. As soon as I mention it, people offer me suggestions, before they have any idea of my criteria for a holiday.

It sounds as if I am being dismissive if I ignore their ‘helpfulness’, but actually most of their suggestions don’t take account of my preferences and circumstances. They are suggesting what they have enjoyed, or would like to do, in the context of their own circumstances.

What their suggestions do give me is the opportunity to clarify further my own criteria. If I don’t find their idea appealing, what would appeal? And if they asked me about my criteria for a good holiday first, then their suggestions would be more directly helpful.

How often do you try and fix other people’s problems? Most of us do it, at work and at home, so this is just a reminder that we could be genuinely helpful by not suggesting a solution. Instead, we could help the person to clarify exactly what would work for them by asking questions such as:

‘What would make this feel right for you?’

‘How exactly do you want this to be?’

‘What would help you to find the solution to this?’

Homework

Next time you want to solve someone’s problem and help them, ask them questions instead of giving an answer.

Before you ask someone for their help, tell them exactly what you mean when you state the problem, and what you want from them.

 

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New Year’s Resolutions

By on September 4, 2002 in Meta Org Blog, Ways of thinking

At this time of year we all tend to think about New Year’s resolutions even if our choice is not to make any! We are often put off by the fact that we have failed to maintain them in the past, and therefore want to avoid ‘failing’ again.

What if we were to approach it in a different way? After all, it is a natural inclination in human beings to want to be continually improving ourselves, so the principle is a good one – perhaps we just need a more effective way of achieving it.

My proposal is this.

Start by imagining that you are at the end of the year, and feeling good about yourself.

Now answer the following questions:

  1. What have you continued to do well this year?

(Examples might be: give myself regular treats; spent good time with the children; done my job well; had exciting holidays)

  1. What have you done even better this year?

(Examples might be: gone home at a reasonable hour more often; gone for a walk at lunchtime more often; paid real attention to family and colleagues more often)

  1. What have you started to do better this year?

(Examples might be: begun to get fitter; eaten more healthily; kept my work in perspective more)

  1. What have you learned more about this year?

(Examples might be: how to use my common sense at work; how to be a good father; how a different culture works)

  1. What helped you to achieve these things this year?

(Examples might be: putting the list on the side of my computer to remind me; keeping my targets achievable; getting support from friends/colleagues/family)

Homework

Try this out – and make it fun!

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Inside Out

By on September 4, 2002 in Living fully, Meta Org Blog, Ways of thinking

Have you noticed how your mood and state always seem to be how the world is at that time? When we feel good, the world seems full of good news and friendly people; when we feel down, there is always more to be gloomy about!

This is no accident of fate. It is about what we are using to filter the possible information around us. When I feel low, I have on the ‘reasons to feel low’ filter, so I notice lots of them.

It makes sense, therefore, to always work ‘inside out’. That means I work on me first, then start looking outwards. If I can change my mood, I will change what I notice, and will be able to have a more positive impact.

Homework.

  1. Notice how the world reflects your mood.
  2. Give yourself treats to make you feel good, and notice how the world also feels easier to handle.

 

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Being a Customer

By on September 4, 2002 in Meta Org Blog, relating to others, Working smarter

I have recently been working on a proposal to help an organisation become more customer focused, and it has really made me think about the other side of the story – the customer. My conclusion is that we all need training to be good customers, not just to treat customers well!

Most of us are passive victims as customers, whether the responsiveness to us is good or bad. Yet with a little pro-active effort on our part, we can often change our experience for the better.

For example, smiling, saying hello, saying thank you, all make a difference to our server and take little from us. Imagine for a moment that you are that server. You have to be pleasant all day/evening to the unresponsive and unsmiling creatures most of us are – wouldn’t you get to the point of being unresponsive? On top of that, you maybe have a boss who never praises you, and doesn’t appreciate what you do – are you sullen and fed up yet?!

We can help people to want to serve us with a genuine smile, by treating them well, by making them feel noticed and valued. And if they do make an effort for us, we can appreciate it, rather than only commenting if we have a complaint. Let’s have a ‘Being a Good Customer’ week!

Homework

  1. Smile and say hello to 5 people who are in some way serving you this week, even if they don’t respond.
  2. Thank anyone who serves you well this month, and maybe write a letter appreciating their service to their boss.
  3. Apply the same principle to those who ‘serve’ you at work – your colleagues, and those from other departments who help you to do your job.

 

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A Gentle Spring Clean

By on September 4, 2002 in Change, Meta Org Blog, Self awareness, Ways of thinking

The clocks have just gone forward and it is officially British Summer Time – I know it doesn’t feel like it yet!

But it is a good prompt to do some metaphorical spring cleaning – always more fun than the real thing! How do you do this?

Think of some recurring thought you have which makes you feel bad. For example you may think you are not good enough at something, or that someone else has a ‘down’ on you… your brain will already have suggested something to you.

Now take that thought and write it down or make a pictorial representation of it on a piece of paper. And take the paper, destroy it and bin it!!

Once we have literally got rid of the thought, we need to replace it with something more useful to us, something that helps to build our good mood. So find something equivalent, such as: ‘I am good at ….’ Or ‘X really likes me’. Now write that different thought down in bright colours, or again, make a picture to represent it. Stick it to your computer or your desk for a couple of days, and let it soak into your unconscious – and smile whenever you look at it.

You can repeat the process as often as you like – have a good clear-out and start the spring with a joyful heart!

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THE HEALING POWER OF LAUGHTER

By on August 11, 2002 in emotional intelligence, Resourcing yourself

This week I was having one of those weeks when everything seemed too much: everyone seemed to be making unreasonable demands on me, I had an overwhelming list of things to do and it all looked like drudgery – sound familiar?

And then a good friend phoned and quickly picked up on my mood, and responded by making me laugh – big, belly laughs that continued long after the conversation was finished. My belly ached, but What a gift!! Nothing felt quite so important or overwhelming anymore, the tension had gone out of my body and mind, and paradoxically, I set to with a new vigour on my list of tasks, and cleared heaps of it!

Laughter is such a simple thing, that we sometimes forget how powerful it is. Physically, mentally and emotionally it is a healthy way to release tensions and negativity. Laughter reconnects us to our souls, our child-like nature, to our enjoyment of life.

Laughter is proven to trigger the release of endorphins (our pleasure giving drug) into our brains, and helps refill our ‘feel good’ tank when it is empty. When our energy tanks are full again, it’s always good to share a laugh or two with others, after all laughter was made to share! In fact it is incredibly infectious! So go ahead and spread some Laughter!

So…Homework:

  1. What do you have to make you laugh out loud? – Note if your list is short you may need to go out and buy yourself a funny treat!
  2. Help someone else to laugh this month – when life is getting them down make them laugh

 

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‘TOOLS FOR CREATION’ – SING LIKE NO-ONE’S LISTENING

By on August 10, 2002 in creativity, Living fully

This workshop is meant to be light-hearted and fun because there seems to be this misconception that to be an ‘Artist’ one must be in angst and constant turmoil. However, wouldn’t it be great to have the same inspiration without all the hard work and emotional strife!

Well the key lies in children… When you were 3 or 4 you had the wonderful ability of singing like no one’s listening. Remember bathtime? Or watching that Disney film? There was no-one telling you to shut-up, or criticising your atonal rendition of ‘the bare necessities’ you just sang absolutely from the heart and loved every minute of it! The words and melody were of absolutely no consequence; the most important thing was to sing as loudly and as proudly as possible. Take the wonderful Bohemian Rhapsody scene from Wayne’s World – Wayne, Garth and the Wayne’s world team are in the car when on comes Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen and as one they mime, rock-out and sing a long to it- this is the essence of what singing like no-one’s listening is all about!

It’s funny isn’t it, we make stars out of singers and songwriters and yet we are often discouraged from singing ourselves. The jolly scene of someone singing to themselves in the bath or shower has been the butt of so many jokes, jibes and digs that many people feel ashamed to even do it anymore..Well we at Meta say ‘bring back bathtime karaoke!’ and let’s re-learn how to: sing like no-one’s listening!

So what can we do to re-learn this vital tool of fun and creation – where can we practice our ‘sing like no one’s listening’ skills?

Well are some ideas we came up with…

  1. Sing like no-one’s listening when in your car
  2. Sing like no-one’s listening when your on a walk
  3. Sing like no-one’s listening in the bath
  4. Sing like no-ones listening in the shower
  5. Sing like no-one’s listening home alone
  6. Sing like no-one’s listening with your kids
  7. Sing like no-one’s listening when you need a pick-me-up
  8. Sing like no-one’s listening with your bestest mate!
  9. Sing like no-one’s listening at the concert of you favourite band
  10. Sing like no one’s listening to your favourite Disney films

 

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