About Di Kamp

Di Kamp is chief executive of Meta and has been involved in the field of developing people and organisations for 35 years. She has worked with a variety of organisations, and specialises in enabling senior managers to guide their organisations from good enough to excellence, and enabling management teams to lead their people in a way that will enhance their performance. Di has written several books, including manuals for trainers, one on staff appraisals, one on workplace counselling, one on improving your excellence as a trainer, one on people skills, and one on being a 21st century manager. She is currently preparing a further book on the secret of sustainable successful organisations.
Author Archive | Di Kamp

WHEN THINGS GO WRONG

By on August 11, 2005 in Leadership, Self awareness, Working smarter

It is easy to be an inspiring leader, full of enthusiasm, when things are going right. It is when things start to go wrong that our true mettle shows through..

When we work with leaders, we find that they really understand the principles of leadership, and have a genuine desire to put them into practice. Yet they slip back into old habits of control and blame when things get tough, back in the workplace.

Why does this happen? Two reasons:

  1. We have all been well trained in the old habits, so they are your default position,. When we have time to think, we can switch on a different behaviour, but when the pressure is on, we have an automatic response.
  2. Other people expect us to behave as we always have done. Even if it is not particularly constructive behaviour, they at least know how to react if we do what we have always done. So if we step out of that, they often try to push us back into the familiar.

So how do we change our habits?

The easiest way to change a habitual behaviour is to consciously practise at regular intervals. So if you say to yourself that this morning is going to be my time for being the excellent leader I know I can be, and set yourself a time limit, it begins to get into the muscle. Don’t make the time too long – then it begins to get strenuous, just like when you take up a new form of exercise, and you will get disheartened.

There is one caution to this – sometimes we slip even when we have made a conscious decision not to, and then we tend to beat ourselves up for it even more than usual! This is not at all helpful, because the way our brain works is that every time we go through an experience again in our memory, we are rehearsing to do the same thing again, so reliving the not so useful behaviour is a great way to train yourself to do it again next time! Instead, just recognise that your behaviour was not what you intended, and run through the scenario as you would have liked to play it. This is excellent training for handling it better next time.

It also really helps if you can find a mentor – someone whom you respect and trust, who is further along on the path to being an excellent leader. Such a person provides the encouragement, advice and support that can make it so much easier to grow yourself.

Most of us don’t suddenly turn into excellent leaders overnight – it takes practice. Go gently with yourself, gradually introducing more and more of the behaviours you want to demonstrate and you will be surprised by how the ‘new you’ begins to grow!

 

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BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT

By on June 11, 2005 in Excellent organisations, Leadership

As we have been working on our research into best practice in leadership, we have become more and more aware that people really do know intuitively what makes someone a leader, as opposed to being a manager. The leader is taking people somewhere that is better in some way than where they are now. He/she may be improving the workplace conditions, may be inspiring people to a higher performance level, may be innovating in the way they conduct their business, and they may be making a positive difference to their community.

However this is not achieved by telling people to change, it is achieved by inspiring people to change, and literally leading the way, making the path. We often forget that one of the most literal definitions of a leader is that they are the person who is setting the pace, carving the route, leading the field. They are out front, setting the example. Yet, intuitively we know that if we are looking to change the habits and customs we have for something better, we need someone to be prepared to have a go first. If  Roger Bannister had not run the mile in 4 minutes, no-one else would have believed they could do it as well. If Mandela had not said that he could forgive all those who had punished him for his convictions, there would not have been a council for reconciliation in South Africa to deal with those who had maintained the apartheid regime, there would have been trials and punishment.

So, if we want to truly be leaders in our own spheres, we need to be the change we want, be prepared to stand out front and set the example. How do we do this? We don’t have to make a major stand to make a big difference. We just have to live our lives and do our work in the way we want others to. It is simple, yet very powerful.

So if you want people to be empowered, empower yourself! Take that action or decision that feels right, yet isn’t usual policy.

If you want people to work together and share their knowledge, work with your team, give them what you know and ask them for their expertise.

If you want people to treat each other with respect, then ensure that you treat everyone with respect.

If you want people to enjoy their work, enjoy your own!

 

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CONNECTIONS

By on May 8, 2005 in emotional intelligence, health+well being, relating to others

We had just finished an open programme in Meta, and the last day felt very emotional. The people who were on the programme were not just the participants, they are our friends. Over the time we had been working together, the relationship between us had developed into a real connection that does not finish with the end of the programme. And at Meta, we delight in those real connections, and love the fact that our circle of friends is constantly being extended.

It reminds me that one of the joys of being alive is that we can have so many connections: with people we meet, with those who sing and write for us, with the world around us. Yet many people do not exploit the wonder of this phenomenon.

The value of connections

We have been well taught to ‘stand on our own two feet’, and for many of us that means that we try not to rely on others and plough our own furrows.

Yet our connections can enrich our lives significantly, if we only dare trust to them. Being connected doesn’t mean a dependency on others, it means recognising our interdependence.

My friendships give me a lot of joy, and a place to give back as well. Between us, we create a better world. Those who write and sing inspire me and calm me, and I respond by taking their message further. My garden thrives because I look after it, but it also feeds me both literally and metaphorically.

When we entered the scientific age in the 17th century, we learned to regard ourselves as separate from the world, from others, and we lost the magic of that interconnectedness. Most of us have been educated to think that we still have that separation, and yet we know in our hearts that it is not true.

Today, remember your connections:

  • Smile at another human being
  • Delight in someone’s words or music
  • Phone a friend you haven’t spoken to for a while
  • Go talk to a plant!
  • Re-connect with the magic of the world!

 

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ARE YOU SEEN TO BE TRUSTWORTHY?

By on April 11, 2005 in Excellent organisations, Leadership

Trust in senior management is declining in the UK. According to a survey, 41% place little or no trust in senior managers to look after their interests, and only 25% place a lot of trust in their managers.

The effect of a lack of trust is low loyalty, and lack of commitment to the organisation. Can you afford this as a cost in what you are trying to achieve in your organisation?

Most leaders I meet would prefer to be seen as trustworthy. What may stop them is that they don’t know how to create that perception – ‘ I am not like others’ – or don’t know how to manage the expectations of their own bosses/shareholders and be trustworthy for employers.

So how do you come across as trustworthy? Obviously, the first step is to have the integrity that leads to trustworthiness. We tend to trust people who are straight with us, tell the truth, recognise and value what we do and who we are.

So as a leader, we need to be known by our workforce, and know them. This is not hard. It requires us to set some time aside each day to wander around our workplace, talking to people, gradually getting to know their names, and noticing their reliability rather than just descending when there is a problem. It is amazing how powerful it is just to know people’s names – we all feel more recognised when someone remembers who we are!

We also need to be straight with people, and keep them informed. By the way, this includes telling them that you don’t know the answer to their concern, rather than bullshitting your way through! We were talking about this issue in a workshop the other day, and one of the leaders present said that his old boss used to have set times for appearing in different parts of the organisation, and would be there for an hour or so. People knew that they could ask him anything at that time, and did so. If he didn’t know or hadn’t got the time to talk properly with them, he would always say that he would get back to them – and he did! It made him a trusted leader.

And what if your bosses are putting pressure on you to cut staff, or cut costs in some other way? It is time we started working out the maths for the real cost of these sorts of actions as a short term solution: the cost of increased staff turnover from survivors of staff cuts – often our best workers who have lost faith in their leaders; the cost of low morale from those who are left, and the resulting lower productivity; the cost of reducing the standard of our customer service in terms of longer term customer retention and increase. We all know with our common sense that these types of cuts only pay off in the short term, and cost more in the longer term.

As a leader we have to be both courageous enough to say so, and astute enough to actually present a good business case for taking another approach.

There is a history at work of people not trusting their boss. The lack of trust is getting worse. Make sure you are in the healthy minority who have integrity and demonstrate it, and help us to create more long term sustainable organisations with a trusting and motivated workforce.

 

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CARING FOR OUR WORLD

By on April 8, 2005 in Living fully

Although we still hear some contradictory messages, the overwhelming evidence suggests that we are creating global warming at a disastrous rate, and scientists now seem to think that they have previously underestimated the rate of warming. On top of that, there is the work being done on global dimming! If you haven’t heard of this, it is the effect of all our pollution that stops the sun from reaching us. Although this protects us from some of the effects of global warming, it is a method of slow suicide – if we continue to release so many particles into the air, we increase the level of respiratory problems etc.

All this can seem overwhelming – what can we do to help? I don’t know about you, but I feel strongly that we need to adopt the Native American principle of thinking about the effects of what we do to the earth on the next seven generations, and I have a fit of the horrors at the thought of what state our world is likely to be in by then, if we continue as we are.

Yet how can I change it?

There are two things I can do.

  1. Make my voice heard, as one of those who want us to adopt fully the Kyoto agreement on climate change. I can write to my mp, I can support the actions being taken by organisations like Friends of the Earth. Although it is only one voice, each voice heard adds to the pressure on governments to do something about holding to account those industries that pollute the most.
  2. I can take simple actions in my own life to ensure that I am reducing my personal impact on the earth. These include recycling wherever possible, insulating my home properly, swapping to a power company that uses renewable energy, and reducing the amount I use my car.

Many years ago I saw Jonathan Porritt give a talk – he was then the head of Friends of the Earth. He showed how every action we take personally makes a positive difference to the state of the earth, and his audience left feeling empowered to make small changes to contribute to a big one.

We can do something, and it doesn’t yet need to be drastic. Lets’ all act now before we ruin this beautiful world!

(For more ideas, go to www.foe.co.uk )

 

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KEEPING PERSPECTIVE

By on March 8, 2005 in Resourcing yourself, Self awareness, Ways of thinking

I am suffering from a bad back, and have been literally handicapped in carrying on with my ordinary life. I can’t lift anything, walk properly, stand up and sit down easily, and it has really made me realise how many good things we take for granted in our lives.

There are many simple everyday things that we don’t even think about, like being able to get a drink when we want one, being able to nip to the shops when we run out of something, having friends we can contact by phone. Can you imagine your life without these abilities?

And in attempting to stay independent, I have probably made my problem worse, when in fact there were lots of people willing to help, if only I had asked earlier.

I have been reminded that there are more important things than those we often wish we had, or those which we feel driven to achieve. And I have been reminded that people will help if they can, and we don’t have to try and manage on our own. And I thought I would pass the reminders on!

So during today, just notice:

  • All the things you can do for yourself and be independent in
  • All the things you have available to you that a refugee in a camp would be delighted by
  • All the people who are friendly towards you and willing to help, should you need it

And notice what frustrates you, what irritates you and what is driving you. Are they really so important?

Life isn’t usually an emergency, and when we appreciate what we do have, maybe the rest of it will stay more in perspective!

 

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DO WE NEED A CRISIS FOR CHANGE?

By on February 11, 2005 in Change, Excellent organisations, Leadership

There is no doubt that a major crisis is often the prompt for fundamental change of some sort, whether that be in our personal lives, in organisations, or globally.

What I wonder is if that is the most effective way to be prompted to make a change.

Britain  suspends the debt repayments for the countries hit by the tsunami for ten years – if we had suspended the repayments five years ago, would those countries have been able to deal with the disaster better?

A person is told they have a life-threatening illness and changes the way they live their life – would they have even had the illness if they had been prompted to change their lifestyle earlier?

A business makes a loss and can make no payments to its shareholders, so changes its structure to become more efficient, cutting staff in the process – if those staff had been motivated to become more productive, would the business have made a loss?

As leaders, we are often in the position of responding to some form of crisis at work: a supplier lets us down, key staff are off sick, a customer is threatening to withdraw their custom. Many leaders say that they do not have time for forward thinking, because they are too busy firefighting.

Yet what could we achieve if we concentrated on the possibilities rather than the contingencies?

As a leader you have the opportunity to make a significant difference to how we approach change.

  • You can look forward and try out ways of improving what you already have, so that it becomes more robust and able to ride the crisis.
  • You can inspire your people to give of their best at work, so that there is less need for fire-fighting
  • You can aim to have the best possible service rather than one which is generally good enough, so that customers want to stay with you.

In our personal lives, we achieve most of our change and growth gradually, driven not by crisis, but by a desire to make things even better. If we applied the same principle at work, perhaps change would become an automatic gradual part of our work lives as well and there would be less crisis.

 

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HUMAN KINDNESS

By on February 8, 2005 in Kindness, relating to others

There have been many stories in the media about the heartfelt reactions of people all over the world to natural disasters. For me, it is a great reminder that human beings are essentially caring and kind.

It is easy to forget, because we react more strongly to the cruelty or simple thoughtlessness that we experience, and register it in our consciousness more deeply – the unpleasant remark from a work colleague, the partner who doesn’t bother to acknowledge an important anniversary – we have all hurt from these sorts of behaviours.

Yet most of us equally experience simple kindnesses from others – a cup of coffee delivered to the desk when we are busy, a favourite dinner after a hard day at work – and for a moment they lift our spirits. Wouldn’t it be lovely if kindness were the norm – imagine how that would feel, and what a difference it would make to our daily lives! And it isn’t that demanding. Being kind and acknowledging kindness shown to you are simple things to do and pay off for both sides.

To increase the level to which human beings demonstrate their kindness, we need to take two simple actions:

  1. Every day do one kind act for someone else
  2. Every time someone does a kindness for you, acknowledge it

It is the small steps that begin the major differences. This sort of behaviour is infectious, and when we decide unilaterally to take these small actions, we find that more people are kind more often, that we increase the number of times we do a small kindness for someone, because it creates a good feeling and is easy.

Let’s not save our kindness for times of great disaster – let’s practise it every day!

 

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TRUST

By on October 11, 2004 in Leadership, relating to others

I met up with a manager I hadn’t seen for about two years the other day. It was a delight to see Robert, and we immediately fell back into our old way of talking with each other. Within a short period of time, he had told me about his life over the last few years, both personal and professional. I realised that he had given me his trust, just as he had when I was his coach, and it got me to thinking about trust.

As a leader, two-way trust is essential, if we are to perform well. We need to trust those we work with, both peers and team members, and they need to trust us. With this trust, we can achieve miracles, because we are not wasting our energy on watching our backs, and can focus that energy on doing the job well instead.

The only way we can gain trust from others is through our behaviour and attitude towards them. If we are trusting of them, they tend to return the trust. If we keep confidentiality, they are more likely to tell us the truth. If we are honest with them, they will be honest back.

We all know this – our close personal friendships work on this basis, and our work relationships are not that different. In the same way as we can rely on our friends to support us and be there when we need them, we need to be able to do the same with our work colleagues, because they will help us to perform at our best.

And of course, this is two-way. If we want the best from our teams, we need to be there for them, and support them when they need it. This approach is often seen as part of the coaching style of management, but to me, it is more than just a style. It is a way of life, a way of being with people, that makes work more enjoyable, more satisfying, more rewarding, for both parties.

We sometimes think that caring for our colleagues is ‘too soft’ and will lead to them exploiting our softness. Yet very few people fail to respond to being trusted and supported as a person. And most people work far more effectively for someone they feel they can trust.

If we want to be effective as a coach, either professionally or as a way of supporting our friends, then building trust into the relationship is essential.  (For more on being an excellent coach, visit www.meta4business.com/coaching)

Building more trust into relationships.

  • If you are not very trusting, experiment with giving trust a bit more, and count how many times it pays off, rather than back-firing.
  • And if you are a trusting manager, keep going, build on it!
  • If someone comes to you with something personal, make sure that you treat their subject with respect, and keep it to yourself.
  • And if you make a promise, keep it.

 

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BEING HONEST

By on August 11, 2004 in Excellent organisations, Leadership

We were recently working with a group, exploring the characteristics of an excellent leader. When we had identified a list of those characteristics, we asked people to choose two that they felt they were good at, and that mattered. A significant number of them chose ‘honest’, explaining that it was vital for trust and good relationships and that dishonesty was something they could not tolerate in others.

I was delighted that this had become so important to people – we have done this activity many times before, and I have never seen so many people choose honest as their quality. Maybe the whole sorry business at Enron, not to mention the questions over the US and British governments’ reasons for going to war with Iraq have brought this issue up to the forefront of people’s minds recently. If so, then there is some good come out of so much unacceptable behaviour!

It is common sense that honesty is the best policy, yet so often leaders are ‘economical with the truth’. This may seem easier at the time, but we all know that longer-term, we win more respect from others when we are honest with them, and they come to know that they can trust us to play straight with them.

We also know that we feel better in ourselves when we are not deceiving others, and on a purely practical level, you don’t have to remember what you were dishonest about if you simply stay honest!

We often misinterpret what being honest means in practice. This is a sad reflection on how common deception is in different forms. Whilst we may all recognise and choose to despise the out-and- out lie, we are often living with the everyday deceptions without even being aware of it in ourselves. We do after all, have a culture of politeness, so we spend a lot of time censoring our thoughts when interacting with people to make sure we don’t offend them, and this is also sometimes a form of dishonesty.  Whereas we react to others who are not playing straight with us, we often don’t realise how much we are doing the same thing.

What we particularly remember in ourselves is the times when we have not told people something negative – where we have ‘held our tongue’ – so when we talk about being honest, we think of telling people what we really think of them – and we don’t think of the nice things we would have to say!

As a leader, I believe we have to wake ourselves up to the full meaning of the principle of being honest, and demonstrate how it works to all our advantages for our staff.

Honesty with ourselves.

  • Are we living our own values?
  • Are we leading others as we would like to be led?
  • Are we being straight with ourselves about the state of our business?

Honesty with our staff

  • Do we tell them both good news and bad news about the company?
  • Do we tell them when they perform well, and when they need to improve?

It is not hard to be honest – it’s easier than deceit or lies!  I’m sure you would prefer to have others honest with you, so apply the same principle in your dealings with others.

 

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