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BEING FREE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE

By on August 8, 2010 in health+well being, Living fully, Meta Org Blog, Reducing stress, Resourcing yourself, Working smarter

You can also listen to a podcast of this Workshop.
[audio:metaspirit_workshop_being_free.mp3|titles=Being free to live your life]
Download this podcast

Life is for the living.

At least that’s what they say. I’m not quite sure who ‘they’ are, but one thing is for sure, there are not many of us who can honestly say that they are free to live the life they want to?

We like to blame circumstance, or others for our life not being how we’d like it to be, but ultimately I feel that the block lies with us. Continue Reading →

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GIVING YOURSELF PERMISSION

By on August 8, 2010 in Meta Org Blog, Resourcing yourself, Ways of thinking

You can also listen to a podcast of this Workshop

[audio:metahome_podcast_giving_yourself_permission.mp3|titles=Giving Yourself Permission]

Download the podcast

For many years, Meta has been giving others permission to be themselves to make themselves feel good, to take better care of themselves, to trust their intuition. I consider it one of the more valuable things that we do, as all of us suffer from the need to know it’s OK to do things we have learnt are generally not allowed, for whatever stupid reason.

When we were born, it seemed obvious to us that we should choose how we wanted to be, and what we wanted to do, following our hearts. Then we learned that the world doesn’t work like that, we incorporated the should’s and ought’s into our way of talking and thinking, and lost sight of our own unconscious wisdom.

How many times do you say to yourself: ‘I shouldn’t really…’ or ‘I’ve got to…’ or ‘I’d better just…’ – there are endless variations on the theme! And what they all do is deprive ourselves of what we really want to do, and push us on with our obligations, or at the very least, make us feel guilty for still following our hearts.

What would happen if we decided to turn this on its head, and find a myriad of ways of giving ourselves permission? We could say to ourselves: ‘I deserve to…’, ‘I have done enough to be able to….’, ‘I really feel like… so I will….’, ‘It’s OK if I …’ – again the list can go on and on.

It seems to me that it is time that we all took responsibility for giving ourselves that permission. And I started, as we all have to, with myself. Although sometimes quite good at it, I realised that there were still a lot of ‘should’s’ driving me on, particularly around work. So I have been paying more attention to when the ‘should’s’ drop into my thinking, and asking myself what I would rather do.

And I am finding that giving myself permission to stop, to do something I really feel like doing, to follow my heart, is having a radical effect on my life – in a good way. Strangely, more gets done more easily, even though I take more breaks from the tasks, and put my feeling ahead of my rationality. And I am happier, and I have more energy – what is going on?

I feel that the experiment is far enough along to begin to encourage others to adopt the same experiment. So why not have a go at giving yourself more permission just to be how you are, to follow your feelings, and to challenge some of those times when you are driving yourself along.

We would encourage our friends to be kinder to themselves if we saw them exhausting themselves or forcing themselves on, so be your own best friend for just a while, and do notice what the effects are…

 

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SLOW DOWN!

By on June 20, 2010 in health+well being, Meta Org Blog, Reducing stress, Resourcing yourself, Working smarter

You can also listen to a podcast of this Workshop

[audio:metahome_podcast_slow_down.MP3|titles=Slow Down!]

Download the podcast

Have you noticed how the days have become a non-stop dash for many of us, much of the time?  We jump out of bed, do our morning ‘stuff’. Hurry to bus or train or car, get to work, and start immediately on the ‘to do’ list.  Even after the daily dash through as much as we can get done at work, we don’t often slow down.  It’s home, tea, maybe more work, the children, and finally we collapse in bed, to have a rest ready for the next daily dash.

Are weekends any better?  Gardens, housework, kids’ activities, socialising, maybe some of the jobs we didn’t get done this week at work – the weekend can easily turn into another list of chores.

Your poor bodies and minds and hearts!!  What happened to us?  We wouldn’t fit in breathing if it wasn’t automatic!!  And we are paying a high price for all this dashing: high blood pressure, bad backs, viruses that knock us flat for days, barely surviving relationships, poor digestion.  It doesn’t even give us real compensatory rewards:  do you ever finish that ‘to do’ list, at home or at work?  Do people praise you and love you for your out-of-control Protestant work ethic?

I know, I know, it’s hard to break the habit; it seems to be what’s expected of us; if I don’t, what might happen?

So my challenge is this: can you find a few spaces in each day to just slow down for a while?

  • How about 5 minutes in the morning, just tasting your breakfast/coffee/tea?
  • How about 10 minutes around lunchtime, just walking slowly and noticing what’s around you?
  • How about 15 minutes when you first get home, sitting quietly or strolling round the garden?
  • How about 20 minutes before bed, just relaxing?

 

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THE SIMPLE REMINDERS

By on September 1, 2007 in health+well being, Resourcing yourself, Self awareness

It is so easy to get caught up in busyness isn’t it! We have so many things to do, and never seem to get to the end of it.

I have been given the opportunity to write this month’s update, and at first I thought, ‘I am too busy…’ Then I thought again, and realised that it was the perfect time to consider what the busyness is all about. After all, we are called human beings, not human doings!

When I am being me, I tend to be gentler, less hurried, and I pay attention to the important things. I have time to walk with my granddaughter, Amber, stopping at every cat, every flower, and enjoying them. I have time to talk, with friends and strangers, and enjoy the conversation. I have time to appreciate being in my home, and the pleasure of making it really feel like mine.

When I am thinking about what I have to do, I become more rushed, more stressed, notice the lacks rather than the positives more.

Do I end up doing nothing if I allow myself to be before I get into doing? No. I do what I have to do, with more heart involved, with more effectiveness. Our being is driven by our hearts, our doing is driven by our heads. My heart will allow my head in, but my head is less willing to give space for the heart as well.

And when I die, I would like to think that people will describe me in terms of how I was, and how I approached things, not what I did. None of us want an epitaph that just says: ‘She worked hard, and did lots of things.’

We sometimes forget that everyday spirituality consists of a smile, a friendly and patient ear, a kind word, a thoughtful gesture, a sense of humour. Our spirits thrive when our heart is brought into whatever we are doing, and when we remember that we are above all about being.

So next time you are about to rush into the next task, just stop for a moment, and allow yourself to be, then take your heart into what you are doing, and help to change the world.

 

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GOING SLOW

By on June 1, 2006 in health+well being, Resourcing yourself

Some years ago, I read a book called “Stopping “ by David Kudtz.  It made an impression on me, I think mainly because I rarely did – stop, that is!  And, for a short while, I did put some “stops” into my life – times when I did nothing, and just allowed life to go by for an hour or two – but it didn’t really stick as a habit.

Now having just spent some time in one of my favourite places, Provence in France, I have realised that one of the reasons I love it there is because the cultural habit is going slow.  I may not have learnt to stop, but I’m pretty good at going slow some of the time, and I’m inclined to increase the habit.

When you sit down in a pavement café, the waiters assume you are going slow, so they don’t rush to serve you, or to ask for payment.  This is not poor service, it’s respectful service, respecting your right to go slow.

It is easy to become impatient when you are used to an “instant response and action” type of life, yet relax into the go slow culture, and you begin to notice the advantages:

  • Proper attention paid to detail – the arrangement of food, the laying of the table
  • Time for contact between human beings – smiles, conversations
  • Things get done, effectively and pleasantly
  • No tempers of frustration, but a tranquil atmosphere
  • A sense of spaciousness in time, instead of it rushing by
  • Room to notice what’s happening around you

OK, it may not be appropriate in our culture to run on “go slow” time all the time.  And sometimes, we may give ourselves permission to slow down for an hour or two in the day, and take that time to reflect, to refresh ourselves.

I love go slow starts to the day, with time to consider, before rushing into action.  And gardening is definitely a go slow activity for me. Maybe it is reading the Sunday newspaper, or having a meal or drink with friends for you.

And how else can we put some go slow time into our busy lives?  I intend to experiment, because I feel so much more as if I’m living my life when I go slow for a while.  I also regain perspective, and feel refreshed by that change of pace.  Why not join me in the experimentation, and see what some “going slow” does for you!!

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The Rhythm of Life

By on March 10, 2006 in Meta Org Blog, Resourcing yourself, Self awareness

We all know that we have a natural rhythm – no, I don’t mean your ability to dance! – I mean the rhythm of our energy levels. Some of us are full of energy first thing in the morning, some of us last thing at night, and all of us tend to go up and down during the day in different ways. We know this because if we stop for a moment and reflect on how we are feeling, we will notice that we are sluggish or energised, blurry or focused – you know what I mean..

What is sad is that we are not taught to work with our natural rhythms – in fact the opposite is true for most of us. We are taught to ignore them. Yet if we want to be excellent, our ability to manage our energy is paramount.

We have four types of energy – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Each type need scaring for, and to be given a chance to refresh.

  • If I have sat still for a while, I need to move my body, feed it, and revitalise my physical energy.
  • If I have been concentrating on something mentally, I need to give my mind a rest, by doing something ‘mindless’ or enjoyable  with my mind – or even switching to another form of activity – that walk we need regularly.
  • If I have been engaged in something that is emotionally draining – even if it is a positive form of draining, I need to do something that just gives me joy for a while, without any effort on my part
  • And every so often, I need to make sure that I feel that what I am doing is purposeful and worthwhile, to refresh my spiritual energy – and if it doesn’t feel that way, I need to find ways of feeling that – by switching what I am doing, on a macro- or micro-level.

Scientists have researched our energy levels and what affects them in considerable depth. There is a consensus of opinion that we need to recharge our physical, mental and emotional levels of energy every 1.5 to 2 hours.  How many of us do that? And without the feeling of purposefulness, all of us sink into a dreary view of everything we do – the daily drudgery..

It doesn’t take long to recharge, and as those of you who have been on programmes with us will know, there are many techniques you can use to help you. Without the recharging, we become automatons, and never fulfil our potential. What a waste!

So just stop and reflect on how you can keep yourself charged, and allow yourself to be at your best this month – you will gain from it, and so will the world!

 

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KEEPING PERSPECTIVE

By on March 8, 2005 in Resourcing yourself, Self awareness, Ways of thinking

I am suffering from a bad back, and have been literally handicapped in carrying on with my ordinary life. I can’t lift anything, walk properly, stand up and sit down easily, and it has really made me realise how many good things we take for granted in our lives.

There are many simple everyday things that we don’t even think about, like being able to get a drink when we want one, being able to nip to the shops when we run out of something, having friends we can contact by phone. Can you imagine your life without these abilities?

And in attempting to stay independent, I have probably made my problem worse, when in fact there were lots of people willing to help, if only I had asked earlier.

I have been reminded that there are more important things than those we often wish we had, or those which we feel driven to achieve. And I have been reminded that people will help if they can, and we don’t have to try and manage on our own. And I thought I would pass the reminders on!

So during today, just notice:

  • All the things you can do for yourself and be independent in
  • All the things you have available to you that a refugee in a camp would be delighted by
  • All the people who are friendly towards you and willing to help, should you need it

And notice what frustrates you, what irritates you and what is driving you. Are they really so important?

Life isn’t usually an emergency, and when we appreciate what we do have, maybe the rest of it will stay more in perspective!

 

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THE ESSENTIALS OF LIFE ‘ HEALTH

By on May 1, 2004 in Meta Org Blog, Resourcing yourself

This is the time of year when we make resolutions to eat more healthily, take more exercise, and then have a really unpleasant cold, wet day, and curl up in front of the TV with a box of chocolates!

It is curious that we are obsessed with health, yet are now far more unhealthy than our predecessors. Their way of life involved much more physical activity as part of the everyday living and we can decide to compensate for our sedentary lives by taking the odd walk, climbing stairs instead of taking lifts or escalators, and just moving our bodies a bit more.

And there is more to health than just being physically in shape. The word health comes from the same root as the word healing, and it means being whole. When we only pay attention to the physical side of our health, we are ignoring the wholeness of ourselves. All the different aspects of us are interlinked, and whilst keeping myself in physical good shape can help with the other parts, it is not enough, as the other parts can also dramatically affect our physical state.

So we also need to ask: what state is my mind in? what state is my heart in? what state is my spirit in? these are not questions that we are taught to ask of ourselves, and we often have no conscious awareness of what is happening with our minds, hearts and spirits. This is exacerbated by the fact that they are parts of us that can keep going despite the knocks for longer than our bodies. The damage to them tends to be slow-growing and we only notice when it has reached crisis proportions, or when some life-threatening event happens to us or someone close to us, and prompts us to consider the bigger picture of our lives.

An easy way to discover how those parts of you are feeling is to describe them as metaphors. For example, my mind feels like a sleepy bear ready to hibernate, or my heart feels like a blossoming scented flower, or my spirit feels like it is in a cage, wanting to be free.

If you like the metaphor, then that part of you is fine, if you don’t, imagine how you would like to change the metaphor to be how you want to be. For example, I would prefer my mind to feel like the bear ready to come out of its hibernation, hungry and motivated. Imagine what that would feel like, and then ask yourself to move towards that over the next few days. If you feel resistance, you can ask yourself, what would help me to be like that? And add that into your life!

This year, when you make those new year resolutions, remember to include one for your mind, heart and spirit, to encourage them to thrive as well!

 

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THE ESSENTIALS OF LIFE ‘ COLOUR

By on March 7, 2004 in emotional intelligence, Living fully, Meta Org Blog, Resourcing yourself

I was in my garden this weekend, enjoying the sunshine.  The blues, reds, oranges and yellows of the flowers contrasted beautifully with different shades of green in the leaves, stems, trees and grass.  And it was all enlivened by the light of the sun.  This stunning spectacle is free, and available in some form to all of us, because our world is coloured – aren’t we lucky!

And colours give us more than just a spectacle – they evoke words and feelings.  It is interesting to me that a long time ago, colours were linked to our chakras – the energy centres in our bodies.  Yet it is only relatively recently that we in the west started considering the effect that different colours have on our moods and energy.

I recently redecorated my living room.  It had been red and stone colours, and now it is in all shades of green.  Everyone who comes into it remarks on how tranquil it feels, even if they know nothing about the effect of colours – the power of a colour change!

We are lucky to have such a remarkable range of colours available to us and can use them, not just to delight the eye, but also to help us enhance or change our mood.  What colours delight you?  What colours make you feel good?  Do you allow yourself to enjoy them enough?

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WHAT IS WELL-BEING?

By on February 12, 2004 in health+well being, Living fully, Meta Org Blog, Resourcing yourself

I have read many books on improving your life. They range from the ‘quick-fix’ Western-style self-help books to the great philosophical and spiritual masters, and there is no doubt that I have learnt from their words of wisdom, and been reminded again and again of techniques and mind-sets that help us to find well-being.

Yet examples of people living in their well-being seem few and far between in our culture. And then I spend ten days in India, and I experience hundreds of examples: the ‘room-boy’ at our hotel, the shop-keeper selling sacks, the priest in the temple, the woman sitting at her stall of fruit, the man who made the naan bread in the street restaurant – everywhere I looked, I could see people with a ready smile, a sense of purpose, and an ability to appreciate the small daily pleasures of being alive.

What have we lost? And how can we regain it? It is clearly not linked to wealth or status, but to a mindset that filters for the reasons to celebrate being alive.

It seems to me that we have learnt too well how to forget what really matters in life. As human beings, we need to feed our bodies, our minds and our spirits on a daily basis, in order to feel whole, and have a sense of well-being. Yet often we are too busy to do this.

We may stuff our bodies with food, but do we eat well, do we care for our bodies? We may stuff our minds with thoughts, but do they nurture and expand our minds, or just cause them to contract with fears and anxieties? And how often do we even consider feeding our spirit?

This weekend you could take the opportunity to stop and consider how you can enhance your well-being.

  1. 1.  Feeding our bodies

We have become used to eating too much. How about having one day where you only eat fresh food, freshly prepared, that you really fancy. And on that day, treat your body well – a massage, a gentle walk, a long bath – something to care for your body.

  1. 2.  Feeding the mind

Most of us have a good book that we haven’t got round to reading. It may be an inspirational one, or just a really good story – and if you don’t have any, look at some of our reviews for ideas! Give yourself a couple of afternoons to sit cosy and warm, with a good book – or if you aren’t a reader, choose a ‘feel-good’ movie instead!

  1. 3.  Feeding the spirit

Our world is full of simple ways of feeding our spirits. We know our spirit is being fed when we can’t help but smile, when we feel that warm glow of pleasure. Nature is a rich source of spirit food: the delight of a crisp winter’s day, the sound of a river or stream. Or really take the time to watch your children’s excitement at something new, or just smile at strangers in the street, and see how many smile back!

We may all lead busy lives, but we need to remember to live each day, not just get through it. There is always time to give a little food to our bodies, our minds and our spirits.

Maybe then we will be closer to well-being.

 

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