Holidays

By on September 4, 2002 in Living fully, Meta Org Blog, Resourcing yourself

 

WORKSHOP – HOLIDAYS -08.01

Holidays were originally holy days, days off work to celebrate special days in the church calendar, while in the US they have vacations, which originally means leaving something empty or unoccupied.

Both words imply stopping the everyday routine and stepping away from it to reflect on the larger picture of life.

We all need these breaks from routine to take stock, to refresh ourselves and to regain perspective. They are an essential part of our pattern for living, because they allow us a space, a review period, when we can run a check on what is and isn’t working in our lives, and rest before regaining our momentum.

So make sure that you take some time out over the summer period. Don’t just fill your time with lots of activities – have a do-nothing space, where you just ‘catch up with yourself’ as my mum used to say.

Homework

  1. Plan at least a day of doing nothing, preferably away from your home
  2. Plan at least another day of doing something non-productive that will just be fun
  3. Enjoy any holiday you take!

 

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What Ride are You Choosing?

By on September 4, 2002 in Living fully, Meta Org Blog, Self awareness, Ways of thinking

 

‘Have we not told you, life should be an adventure? If it were run-of-the-mill, you would have left it a long time ago. You need the sturm and drang, the passion, the highs and lows, to uncover the truth of who you are.

We get so caught up in our everyday lives, we forget what we came here for. See life as a game. It’s a game, it’s fun, it’s a rollercoaster, as we have told you before. It has its highs and lows, ups and downs, all arounds, but ultimately it’s all just a ride.

To find out what that’s all about, stand back and observe – where you get stuck, where you fly, where it scares you, where it exhilarates you, and concentrate on one goal, one goal alone: How does this help me to get to the truth of who I am?

Does it? Or does it get me stuck? Does it increase my fear? If the answer is yes to either of these questions, choose another path, get on a different ride!

There’s a whole fairground of rides. Some people like the rollercoaster, some the waltzers, some like the slow Ferris wheel, some the house of horrors. They are all beautifully different, so if you feel your ride no longer fits or suits you, change to another one! Go sit on the rollercoaster even if it does sometimes scare you.  Or go sit on the roundabout and take it gently.

You are all grown-ups, you have the right to choose what sort of ride you want your life to be. So choose, choose now – and if you don’t like it, stop that ride, get off and go get an easier one for a while.

It’s your choice. You create what is the ride of your life. So create one that suits you, and have the courage to say, “no, this ride no longer suits me. I’ll choose another – I’ll create another life/ride that suits me.” And hey presto, you have the life you always wanted. It’s that easy.

We would say that you will probably get through a lot of rides, because at different times in your life, you will need different things. And eventually you will come to the ride that takes you to the truth of who you are, and once you are on that one, you will never want to come off, because it’s home.

(Thank you to Jo and his angels for this text)

Homework

  1. What sort of a ride are you on at the moment?
  2. Does it suit you right now?
  3. Is it helping you to get to the truth of who you are?
  4. If not, what ride do you fancy?

 

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Laughter

By on September 4, 2002 in Living fully, Meta Org Blog, Resourcing yourself

I have been spending time with friends recently. The obvious activity was almost irrelevant. What matters is that we have laughed! It wasn’t because we were doing something humorous – it was because we had decided to have fun and to enjoy each other’s company.

How often do we remember that we have the power to decide what an activity will be like? And how often do we remember that laughter can transform the dreariest of tasks?

Laughter is a lovely way to stay healthy – it is proven to enhance our immune system. It is also a good way to share goodwill with others, and keep ourselves spiritually healthy: laughing together links us back into the fundamentals of life and gives us a common bond.

Can you afford to be serious?

Homework

  1. Watch someone who is laughing wholeheartedly this week, and see if you can resist joining in!
  2. Find something boring to do, a friend or colleague to do it with, and laugh as you tackle it!

 

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Thinking Creatively

By on September 4, 2002 in Meta Org Blog, Ways of thinking

I have just been on holiday, and I was clear that I had no intention of thinking at all for a couple of weeks! At first, it worked perfectly. My thinking consisted of: am I hungry/thirsty? Do I want to swim? Do I want to read or talk? And because there was nothing I had to do, I found it very refreshing to allow the answer to just come from my own genuine feelings, instead of being influenced by external obligations.

After a while, a strange thing started to happen. Quite unbidden insights would suddenly appear in my head, on all sorts of subjects, work and home related. They were all in the category of creative solutions to issues that had been around for me pre-holiday, but they had required no analysis, no in-depth thinking through on my part.

Since returning home, I have been reflecting on this, and believe that creative thinking comes from a state of being where there is a lack of everyday pressure, and where our conscious attention is on something completely different.

How do we achieve this state of being when we are not able to go off on holiday every couple of weeks?! I propose the following:

1)    Tell yourself what it is that you want to sort out e.g. I want to find an innovative way of presenting this information

2)   Allow yourself some treats to resource yourself – a nice meal, a lie in, a natter with an old friend

3)   Do something which enthrals you and takes all your attention – a jigsaw puzzle, some gardening, a good movie or book, a walk in the fresh air, noticing all the signs of Spring
(Through all of stages 2 and 3 you are not thinking consciously about your issue at all. In fact, if it comes to mind, pay attention to something else)

4)   After you have finalised stage 3, sit down with a pen and paper, and write: I want to find an innovative way to… , and what I could do is… , and just keep writing. You may find you have several ideas. Don’t judge or critique them – just record them

5)   Finally, give yourself something else that feels good – a glass of wine, a night out with friends, – anything which is a reward for your own creativity.

This has worked for me since I came home, a couple of times. Let me know if it works for you!

 

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A Gentle Spring Clean

By on September 4, 2002 in Change, Meta Org Blog, Self awareness, Ways of thinking

The clocks have just gone forward and it is officially British Summer Time – I know it doesn’t feel like it yet!

But it is a good prompt to do some metaphorical spring cleaning – always more fun than the real thing! How do you do this?

Think of some recurring thought you have which makes you feel bad. For example you may think you are not good enough at something, or that someone else has a ‘down’ on you… your brain will already have suggested something to you.

Now take that thought and write it down or make a pictorial representation of it on a piece of paper. And take the paper, destroy it and bin it!!

Once we have literally got rid of the thought, we need to replace it with something more useful to us, something that helps to build our good mood. So find something equivalent, such as: ‘I am good at ….’ Or ‘X really likes me’. Now write that different thought down in bright colours, or again, make a picture to represent it. Stick it to your computer or your desk for a couple of days, and let it soak into your unconscious – and smile whenever you look at it.

You can repeat the process as often as you like – have a good clear-out and start the spring with a joyful heart!

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Being a Customer

By on September 4, 2002 in Meta Org Blog, relating to others, Working smarter

I have recently been working on a proposal to help an organisation become more customer focused, and it has really made me think about the other side of the story – the customer. My conclusion is that we all need training to be good customers, not just to treat customers well!

Most of us are passive victims as customers, whether the responsiveness to us is good or bad. Yet with a little pro-active effort on our part, we can often change our experience for the better.

For example, smiling, saying hello, saying thank you, all make a difference to our server and take little from us. Imagine for a moment that you are that server. You have to be pleasant all day/evening to the unresponsive and unsmiling creatures most of us are – wouldn’t you get to the point of being unresponsive? On top of that, you maybe have a boss who never praises you, and doesn’t appreciate what you do – are you sullen and fed up yet?!

We can help people to want to serve us with a genuine smile, by treating them well, by making them feel noticed and valued. And if they do make an effort for us, we can appreciate it, rather than only commenting if we have a complaint. Let’s have a ‘Being a Good Customer’ week!

Homework

  1. Smile and say hello to 5 people who are in some way serving you this week, even if they don’t respond.
  2. Thank anyone who serves you well this month, and maybe write a letter appreciating their service to their boss.
  3. Apply the same principle to those who ‘serve’ you at work – your colleagues, and those from other departments who help you to do your job.

 

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Inside Out

By on September 4, 2002 in Living fully, Meta Org Blog, Ways of thinking

Have you noticed how your mood and state always seem to be how the world is at that time? When we feel good, the world seems full of good news and friendly people; when we feel down, there is always more to be gloomy about!

This is no accident of fate. It is about what we are using to filter the possible information around us. When I feel low, I have on the ‘reasons to feel low’ filter, so I notice lots of them.

It makes sense, therefore, to always work ‘inside out’. That means I work on me first, then start looking outwards. If I can change my mood, I will change what I notice, and will be able to have a more positive impact.

Homework.

  1. Notice how the world reflects your mood.
  2. Give yourself treats to make you feel good, and notice how the world also feels easier to handle.

 

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New Year’s Resolutions

By on September 4, 2002 in Meta Org Blog, Ways of thinking

At this time of year we all tend to think about New Year’s resolutions even if our choice is not to make any! We are often put off by the fact that we have failed to maintain them in the past, and therefore want to avoid ‘failing’ again.

What if we were to approach it in a different way? After all, it is a natural inclination in human beings to want to be continually improving ourselves, so the principle is a good one – perhaps we just need a more effective way of achieving it.

My proposal is this.

Start by imagining that you are at the end of the year, and feeling good about yourself.

Now answer the following questions:

  1. What have you continued to do well this year?

(Examples might be: give myself regular treats; spent good time with the children; done my job well; had exciting holidays)

  1. What have you done even better this year?

(Examples might be: gone home at a reasonable hour more often; gone for a walk at lunchtime more often; paid real attention to family and colleagues more often)

  1. What have you started to do better this year?

(Examples might be: begun to get fitter; eaten more healthily; kept my work in perspective more)

  1. What have you learned more about this year?

(Examples might be: how to use my common sense at work; how to be a good father; how a different culture works)

  1. What helped you to achieve these things this year?

(Examples might be: putting the list on the side of my computer to remind me; keeping my targets achievable; getting support from friends/colleagues/family)

Homework

Try this out – and make it fun!

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Helping Other People

By on September 4, 2002 in Meta Org Blog, relating to others

We have all been encouraged to be helpful to others, and we often do this by trying to ‘fix’ things for them, and give them solutions to their problems. Our intentions are good, but we don’t always prove to be as helpful as we intended.

What we forget is that what would work for us won’t necessarily work for someone else. For example, I am planning to have Christmas holiday in the sun, and haven’t yet decided where to go. As soon as I mention it, people offer me suggestions, before they have any idea of my criteria for a holiday.

It sounds as if I am being dismissive if I ignore their ‘helpfulness’, but actually most of their suggestions don’t take account of my preferences and circumstances. They are suggesting what they have enjoyed, or would like to do, in the context of their own circumstances.

What their suggestions do give me is the opportunity to clarify further my own criteria. If I don’t find their idea appealing, what would appeal? And if they asked me about my criteria for a good holiday first, then their suggestions would be more directly helpful.

How often do you try and fix other people’s problems? Most of us do it, at work and at home, so this is just a reminder that we could be genuinely helpful by not suggesting a solution. Instead, we could help the person to clarify exactly what would work for them by asking questions such as:

‘What would make this feel right for you?’

‘How exactly do you want this to be?’

‘What would help you to find the solution to this?’

Homework

Next time you want to solve someone’s problem and help them, ask them questions instead of giving an answer.

Before you ask someone for their help, tell them exactly what you mean when you state the problem, and what you want from them.

 

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Having Enthusiasm

By on September 4, 2002 in Living fully, Meta Org Blog, Self awareness, Working smarter

Have you noticed how infectious enthusiasm is? We all respond to someone who obviously has put their heart and soul into something rather than just their intellect.

The word enthusiasm originally means ‘inspired by God’ or ‘the God within’. This may sound off-putting to some of you, but it captures well the sense that enthusiasm is heart- or spirit-based, and therefore appeals to us at a deeper level.

An example I came across recently is of someone who works for Virgin airlines. She is a member of the ground crew, doing an apparently ‘ordinary’ job, yet she talked for half an hour of how much she loves what she does and whom she works for. She saw her job as important to the company’s success, and gave her all to it willingly, because the company also made sure that she was cared for, and had her own life as well.

To invoke enthusiasm in others like that, we need to ensure that they feel valued and important, and that their individuality is appreciated.

To invoke it in ourselves we need to find what makes our heart sing in our work, and build on that.

Homework

  1. When are you enthusiastic? Look for what makes your heart sing at work.
  2. When do you encourage others to be enthusiastic? Look for opportunities to make others feel valued and important, and cared for.

 

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