DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT

By on November 27, 2013 in creativity, Living fully, Meta Org Blog, Ways of thinking

Have you noticed how much of our lives tend to slip away in routine? Some of it consists of habits and customs we develop to allow us to live on automatic pilot.  Other parts are accepted norms of behaviour that we don’t question. Examples include what we eat and when we eat it, where we sit, in our home and in meetings, what we say to people as a greeting – the list goes on!

There is a usefulness to routine – it allows us to think about something else, or not think at all!  But it can also close down our creativity, our curiosity and even our consciousness of being truly alive.

We all tend to enjoy a break from routine, such as a holiday, and re-find our sense of fun, our vitality.  My question is, why wait?  Every day we have an opportunity to do something different, to take a break from routine, and re-vitalise ourselves.  Sometimes it may be on a grand scale: a friend of mine recently decided to take two of those days in lieu that often accumulate at short notice, and just got in the car and went somewhere she had never been to before, with nothing booked or planned. It was a lovely adventure that gave her back her energy. Or it may be on a small scale: yesterday I cooked a recipe I have never tried before, and it was delicious!

And what about at work? How many routine reactions do you have? What do you ignore that makes you uncomfortable? What do you accept that you really find unacceptable?

Just imagine how much better workplaces would be if only we challenged more, asked for proper explanations, as our routine, instead of simply thinking that it had to be that way. If we didn’t simply accept the status quo, we would feel better and the world would be a better place.

When we do something different, we wake ourselves up again, remind ourselves that life is an exploration, and we are here to learn, to be creative, to make things better, and to have fun.  We revitalise ourselves and tap back into our inner child, who thought life was meant to be good, and always getting better. Don’t let life slip by – do something different today!!

  1. Suggest a better way of doing something at work today
  2. Make one change in your routine today and notice what effect it has on you.
  3. Do something different in one of your ‘routine’ interactions – smile at someone you usually frown at, talk to someone you usually ignore, give a different response next time someone says, “how are you?” – and notice the effect on you and the other person.
  4. Plan to do something really different – go somewhere you’ve never been, experience something you’ve never tried.

 

Comments { 0 }

EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE

By on October 25, 2013 in emotional intelligence, Meta Org Blog, Ways of thinking

How many times in a week, a month, do you find yourself thrown by something you weren’t expecting: a negative reaction to something you said; someone being awkward when you were expecting co-operation; an extra meeting put in the diary in the space you were going to use to catch up – the list of possibilities goes on and on!

An aspect of emotional intelligence that we don’t often pay attention to is our emotional resilience when something unexpected happens. The word resilience means originally to bounce back

It is so easy to get knocked back in our culture. We tend to see the world as conspiring against us anyway, and so fall too easily into self-pity and being a victim of circumstance. This is not because we are naturally pessimistic, but because we are surrounded by confirmation of the cultural belief that most things don’t work in our favour, unless we are very lucky! The media, the news we are given, our everyday comments on events, all suggest that the world is not on our side.

Resilience has a foundation in the belief that things do work out, and that we can have control of how we live our lives. Although you may have evidence given to you that this is not true, when you stop and examine your history, you will realise that there is also evidence that it is true, that things do work out as often as they don’t if not more so.

The belief that things work out is very useful, because it prompts you to find a way to make things work, no matter what happens.

This doesn’t mean that you have to be happy about everything that happens, or positive – that would be being a victim again. After all, resilience is bouncing back – you need to fall or hit the wall first!

When we develop emotional resilience, we react differently.

a.       We forgive ourselves if our initial reaction is negative, and just let it go.

b.       We pick ourselves up and get on with things, just like a child who has fallen over when learning to walk

c.       We take a deep breath and choose how to respond to the situation, in a way that leaves us feeling OK with it.

d.       We consider what the learning is for us in the particular circumstance, and actively take the learning.

So this month, take a little time to develop further your emotional resilience:

  1. Take an example where life dealt you an unexpected blow in the past. What have you/could you learn from it, in a positive sense?
  2. Identify 4 ways in which the world has conspired with you, by offering you unexpected changes that were useful to you.
  3. As you receive some ‘knock’ this month, stop and go through the process stated above.

 

Comments { 0 }

HOW ARE YOU THINKING?

By on September 25, 2013 in Meta Org Blog, Self awareness, Ways of thinking

Often, when we are pensive, others will ask us what we are thinking about.  There is a more important question: How are you thinking?

It is how we think about things that has a dramatic effect, on both us and what happens.  Consider it for a moment.  If you are thinking about your summer holiday, it can have a different effect on you, depending on what sort of thoughts you are having.  Remembering the fun you had and feeling again the sense of relaxation and happiness will make you feel good, and ‘feed your soul’ for whatever you are doing now.  Adding to that memory, thoughts like: ‘I wish I was there now instead of here’ will create some resentment and reluctance in your performance in the here and now.

Similarly, when we think about the future, if we imagine things working out, we approach them with a positive mind-set and generally manage to overcome any obstacles.  However, if we are anxious or negative about them and imagine things not working out, we approach them in a way that betrays our feelings about them and often create the very story we didn’t want.  On top of that, we approach what we are doing immediately with that same mind-set and often upset other apple-carts that had nothing to do with what we were thinking about!

Because we think all the time, we are often unaware of the fact that we are in control of our thoughts – we can catch ourselves and choose to think in a different way about things

If we stop the spiral of negative or anxious thinking in ourselves, we do ourselves and the world a favour.  That sort of thinking creates stressful chemistry in our bodies and wears us out, physically and emotionally.  And it doesn’t help us to deal with things better, it perverts and narrows our perspective and wisdom.  The knock-on effect is that we deal with whatever we are doing less effectively and, with the people around us, less usefully.

On the other hand, choosing to have more useful thoughts calms our body chemistry down and reduces our stress, leading to us being more effective.

So, how do we choose to have useful thoughts?  When you find yourself in that negative spiral, ask yourself some of these questions, until you find one that works:-

What different angle could I take on this?

  1. How would someone who wasn’t anxious or negative about this be thinking about it?
  2. Is how I am thinking about this helping me to deal with it and, if not, what would be more useful?
  3. What would distract me from thinking about this at the moment, so that I can regain some perspective?

Our thoughts are very powerful in creating our realities which means that it is worth our while to take back control of them, so that they are more useful in creating the reality we want.  So have a go – don’t let them run the show!!

Comments { 0 }

WHAT ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION TO?

By on August 26, 2013 in Meta Org Blog, Ways of thinking

When I was a child, I had a magic torch – did you? If you turned it on and switched it round, it shone different colours at things – red, blue, green, and yellow – I loved it! It changed how everything looked depending on which colour you used.

Why am I describing this? Because our minds work in the same way. If your mood is ‘dark’ or ‘blue’, then everything you think about takes on that colour. The sun shining becomes a problem rather than a delight, and then it rains and we are bound to have floods! Someone’s chance remark is obviously aimed at making you feel stupid, and then the next person you encounter doesn’t speak, and you know they are ignoring you because they don’t like you!

On the other hand, when you are feeling ‘sunny’, then it is wonderful to have a sunny summer, and when it rains, that is great for the garden. You laugh at the remark someone makes, knowing that it isn’t aimed at you, and you feel sorry for the person who doesn’t speak to you, because they are obviously so busy they don’t even have time to say hello.

And all this is not out of our control – it is something we can switch around if it doesn’t suit us, just like the torch. Our minds follow what we tell them to follow. So if you notice that the day seems to be going wrong, switch the torch of your attention around – turn it to sunny. Begin to notice what is right about the day, and if you can’t find anything there, go for the bigger picture – what is right about your life, your family, your health – any category where there are things that are going right. This will switch your mind to a more useful beam of light.

Remember that our culture tends to have the ‘dark’ beam on, so we need to counteract that – the news is almost all about what is wrong in our world. We hear about the person who injured someone else, but not about the thousands who were being kind to others at the same time. So you need to help yourself to switch the colour of the beam by choosing not to get taken in by the cultural tendency – stop watching or listening to the news for a while, or subscribe to Positive News, a newspaper which reports the good things happening in our world.

Why is it important that we consciously switch our attention to what’s right? I can hear the cynic saying that it is like wearing rose-coloured spectacles, and is avoiding the real world. But excellent people don’t ignore what is wrong; they just approach it from a different angle. They start by counting all that is working, to give themselves a positive and useful frame of mind, then ask themselves what they can do to handle what is not right. From that useful frame of mind, we are able to find much better ways of handling the situation – we all know that when our mood is sunny, we can sort most things! And if we can’t sort it, at least we can keep it in perspective.

So start practising today, whether you need to or not. Put on the sunny beam and notice what is right in your life, in the world.

Comments { 0 }

LET’S SPREAD A DIFFERENT VIRUS!

By on August 21, 2013 in Meta Org Blog, relating to others

How many of you have been affected by some undefined virus this year? Something that makes you feel bad, miserable, under the weather… and then there are the numerous non-medical viruses that we hear about every day:

  • The virus of deceit and half-truth which our politicians seem to be so infected with
  • The virus of greed which brought down our economic system
  • And the never-ending virus of fear which is fed by the above, as well as terrorism, enemies, threats, lack of work, etc.

Aren’t you tired of all these viruses? I certainly am, and I believe the best medicine to counteract them may be to start spreading a different sort of virus, as actively as we can. I remember when people first began to realize that we could use viral marketing through the internet including services like media buying company, through the media, to spread a message from a few influential sources. Let’s use this to the good!

My suggestions for useful viruses would be:

The virus of love

Let’s counteract the fear virus by being actively loving and kind towards others – our family, our work colleagues, and even complete strangers! It is easy to be kind in simple ways – let that car in to the queue, bring a coffee for a workmate, give someone a hug. And we all know that it is infectious…

The virus of hope

Let’s look for the reasons to be cheerful, to believe that life can be good. Let’s sign those petitions for a better world – it only takes a minute. Let’s encourage others to find a new job, to spot the sunshine in amongst the clouds.

The virus of integrity

Let’s be truthful, and stick to our principles. Let’s stand up for the right things, and let’s at least be honest in our own expenses claims!

The virus of abundance

Let’s delight in what we have rather than worry about what we don’t have or might lose. And let’s share what we have, and assume there will be enough to go round. There are many who have no roof over their head, who don’t know where their next meal is coming from – we are lucky!

You may be feeling powerless in the face of the viruses which are receiving so much publicity at the moment. Yet you have the power to infect the people you know and meet with these viruses every day, and add to the spreading of a different message. For goodness’ sake, do what you can do and let’s change the story between us – we can make the difference!

Comments { 0 }

WHAT HAPPENED TO COMPANIES?

By on August 21, 2013 in Excellent organisations, Meta Org Blog

We have noticed that almost all organisations these days are called businesses, even those which are essentially services, such as the NHS. In the process of preparing a new book, I have explored the meaning of the different words we use to describe workplaces. This prompted me to look up the word ‘company’, and remind myself that originally it meant somewhere where people broke bread together.

Oh dear! Lots of people don’t even break bread together at home, let alone at work!

The very concept of breaking bread together brings up such a positive image: people eating together, talking together, knowing each other, discussing things that matter in a calm and pleasant atmosphere. Can you imagine what a difference it would make to what goes on at work, if that was part of the daily rituals there?

Instead we have businesses, where people are all too busy doing their never-ending to-do lists to be able to raise their heads and smile at each other, let alone eat together! It is such a loss to our personal well-being and that of the places we work in. Without the simple human contact, we lose touch with what it is all really about – making a positive difference, creating something together that we can be proud of, making enough profit or spare to be able to keep going, delighting our customers – some of those things that are obvious when we have time to stop and reflect..

So this month, why not decide to change from the busy daily rituals, at least once in a while:

  • Smile and say hello to your companions in the company
  • Eat with some of them once in a while
  • Discuss what really matters to the long-term survival of your company, rather than just how you will meet this month’s targets

This not pie in the sky, so to speak! It is humans who make up the major component of a business, and being human is the most important thing they bring to that company – if this were not true, everything would by now be done by computers! So bring your humanness to work this month, and enjoy the fact that you work with other humans – give your business a little bit of company!

 

Comments { 0 }

OUR NATURAL WAY OF BEING

By on August 21, 2013 in Living fully, Meta Org Blog

I have just been looking after my granddaughter for the weekend, and been reminded yet again of how perverted we become as we grow up and accept the cultural conditioning that brings us into line with the way things are in our society..

Amber has not yet absorbed this conditioning, and is consequently an absolute delight to be with. She spends most of her waking time actively looking for things to enjoy – nothing complicated – a game of counting or guessing things, a cuddle, the sensations of touching, looking at, listening to interesting things, helping with simple household jobs, talking about subjects she is noticing in her world – there are so many possibilities when you look through her eyes!

She also delights in making new connections – we call it learning – which key fits which door, how many things can be put inside a small box, how dictionaries work, making patterns from different objects, and which faces, gestures and phrases make grandma laugh the most!

As I watch and join in with her world, I am tempted back to that wonderful state of innocence, where life was about fun, and curiosity led me to explore possibilities, and develop my skills. We were all born to be like this, and as grown-ups we can choose to re-awaken this latent ability to love life.

Amber reminds me to really live my life, and go past my conditioning. What will remind you, if only for a little while? It is so much more fun to be childlike in the world!

 

Comments { 0 }

CHANGING YOUR ‘STORY’

By on August 21, 2013 in Change, Meta Org Blog

We often talk on our programmes about how you can change the story-line in your life, because you are in charge of it. There has been a lot of discussion in our household about the new era we have entered into – the age of Aquarius – and how it is the time to really create the story you want in your life. And it has reminded me that there are a couple of things that are vital to making that transition easier, and more comfortable.

Firstly, we need to be clear about what our criteria are for accepting or rejecting things that have been a part of our lives up until now. This applies whether it is changing jobs, friends, or possessions – it applies to everything. What I mean by criteria is clarity in why you will choose to reject or accept something. For example, I have decided to have another grand sort-out and established that I would only keep in my life those things that make my heart sing. It is a simple but very effective criterion!

Secondly, and equally importantly, we need to be in touch with our own ecology signal – the message from our ‘guts’ that tells us if something is right or wrong for us at this time. This signal will help us to stay comfortable with the change by helping us to pace it to suit ourselves in a true sense.

An example for me was my books: I knew that only some of them genuinely make my heart sing still, yet it is a long-standing habit to buy and save books in case I want to read them again. After much consideration, I decided that I could divide my books into three categories: ones I didn’t want any more and could give away; ones that I love to dip into and have my notes in; and ones that I may want to read again, but can happily store on kindle rather than as physical books. Now I can go through them and clear many of them whilst still feeling good about it – my ecology signal says yes!

When it comes to adding to our story, we equally need to pace ourselves to stay comfortable – this is not an all or nothing game! So go gently, perhaps adding a little bit of new activity, or a gentle beginning to changing a non-useful habit.

It doesn’t matter what pace you go at in changing your story, so long as you do keep gradually evolving that wonderful life of yours. And if you do decide to go for the ‘grand slam’ like I tend to, you are still entitled to keep it comfortable for yourself!

So stop for a moment, next time you are sitting having a cup of coffee or a glass of wine, and ask yourself: ‘Is there anything I want to take out of my life, to evolve my story today, or is there anything I still need to keep even though it doesn’t really fit?’ then ask yourself, ‘what do I want to begin to add into my life to evolve it and myself further?’ And enjoy the answers you get..

 

Comments { 0 }

FOOD FOR THE SOUL

By on July 31, 2013 in Living fully, Meta Org Blog, Resourcing yourself, Working smarter

I recently went to see Bruce Springsteen in concert, and was struck by the level of joy he creates with his band and his audience. At the same time as loving the concert, I was reflecting on how rare it is to simply enjoy yourself: to sing, laugh, dance, and take pleasure in simple things.

We have been taught through the consumer culture to search for our delight through more, bigger, better, instead of listening to our hearts, which say simple, natural, shared.

This may sound idealistic, not of the real world. After all, how often can we go to concerts, or just dance? It’s not our everyday. Well, it can be: look at the sunshine, the flowers in the gardens. Listen to that lovely happy song on the radio as you drive into work. Taste that special cheese you decided to treat yourself to in your weekly shop. Smell your child’s head – how sweet! Feel the grass with your bare feet first thing in the morning. None of these are expensive or rare – and they all feed our souls.

And why do we do it – feed our souls? Because it is essential to our health and well-being.  It causes our brains to release those hormones which keep us well, and help us to thrive. Consequently, when my soul is fed, I am a more pleasant person to be around, I notice and appreciate the more positive aspects of my life, and I feel able to handle what the world throws at me. What is more, I don’t need the compensation of ‘stuff’ to try to fill the void.

If shopping did it for us, wouldn’t everyone in town look happy? If gadgets did it for us, wouldn’t everyone using their technology send positive messages?

We all have a sense of what feeds our soul: if your heart warms or sings at the thought of it, you know that works for you. That is what is worth investing in, spending time on.

This month, take a little time every day to feed your soul, and keep yourself well. The world is full of soul food, if we care to look for it – you don’t need to go and see Springsteen – although I would recommend it!!

Comments { 0 }

THE RIPPLE EFFECT (and why it matters to you and your organisation)

By on June 27, 2013 in Excellent organisations, Meta Org Blog, relating to others, Self awareness

At Meta we’re always interested in scientific research that backs up our own idea about how organisations work. Recently we were made aware of some really interesting research done in America on social networks, by the excellent author Dr David Hamilton.

During a recent seminar we attended Dr David Hamilton referred to ongoing research that shows that how we interact with others has a lasting and surprisingly big impact on others. This impact is what is known as the ripple effect. This quantum physics term essentially says that how we are in any interaction, has a positive or negative ripple outwards. The surprising thing is just how far that ripple ripples out!

How we are in all our interactions with others (e.g.: happy, sad, positive or negative) ripples outwards into our social network. Our mood is like a stone when dropped in a pond. It has an initial impact as it hits the surface and then that ripples outwards across the pond, and actually our mood can affect someone we’ve never even met.

In research done at Harvard University on a social network of 12000 people (that’s a real social network, not a Facebook one!) they tracked and measured how the mental health changed in individuals in response to mental health changes in their social network. There were some really interesting results! For example, if a friend of yours becomes depressed for any reason, it increases the likelihood that you will also become depressed by 93%. It works the same with happiness. A happy friend can increase the probability of you becoming happy by 25%, and a happy best friend can increase your likelihood by 63%! The fact is that we transmit our moods to those around us, in fact that ‘emotional contagion’ can be measured up to three steps away in your social network – that’s your friends’ friends’ friends! And you may not even know your friends’ friends’ friends’, but how you are has an effect on them!

Let’s just think about that for a moment in the work environment. Our workplace is also a social network. Everyday we interact with different people. Some are in our immediate sphere of influence, our own team, then there are those in the wider team, other departments, other management levels within the business, and then there are those outside of the organisation, our customers, and our business partners.

Many studies show that the success of teams is heavily influenced by the mood of one or two individuals, if a leader is happy, it can lift the mood of a team, and if they are sad or angry, it can lower the mood.

This leads us at Meta to think more deeply about this. To us, it seems there is a simple choice to be made, and yes, we always DO have a choice about this. Every day, remind yourself that actually every interaction is an opportunity to spread a positive contagion through your organisation.

Think about it, if you’re friendly and positive to a colleague, that has the potential to ripple outwards to not only them, but also their team, and anyone else that comes into contact with them through that day, up to three degrees of separation.

Let me put that into some figures for you.. Let’s say that there are 10 people that you are close to at work, and let’s say that each of those people have 10 people that they are close to, that’s already 100 people that you have the potential to effect positively, in only 2 degrees of separation! Now when you see it like that, you begin to realise that how we are at work really does make a difference!

So let’s get back to the most basic choice of all. What kind of ripple do you want to be? Do want to be a negative ripple or a positive ripple in your organisation? The research shows that actually the effect you will have will be pretty much similar, so if that were the case, why would any of us choose to be a negative ripple?

In the busy, pressured working environment that many of us find ourselves in these days, it’s sometimes easy to fire off that angry email, or perhaps chastise a team member or colleague in front of other people. And that is OK, as we are only human, and we’re not expecting you to be perfect here! We are just making you aware of the fact that how you are in EVERY interaction that you make, be it face to face, on a phone or indeed virtually via email, has an effect.

So think of the ripples you’re making. They are not just affecting those that you interact with, but also their work colleagues, their department, their customers, and even their family!

Oh yes, that ripple doesn’t just stay at work – it also comes home with us. Think about it, when you’ve had a bad day at work and you come home frustrated and angry, how does that mean you are with your family? Maybe you get a bit snappy with the kids or maybe you aren’t your normal loving self with your partner? This ripple effect thing is a bit of a bugger when you think about it!

At Meta we hope to be a positive ripple in the world of work. We believe that the most productive, effective and excellent teams and organisations are the ones that understand that these things do matter. They see the value in their interactions, and see every phone call, meeting, 1-1 or emails as an opportunity to spread a more positive, friendly ripple out into the world.

If you’d like to know more about the ripple effect and how it can help the culture and working practice in your organisation then get in touch, we’d love to talk to you more about it!

Have a great summer!

Jo and Di x

Comments { 0 }