About Di Kamp

Di Kamp is chief executive of Meta and has been involved in the field of developing people and organisations for 35 years. She has worked with a variety of organisations, and specialises in enabling senior managers to guide their organisations from good enough to excellence, and enabling management teams to lead their people in a way that will enhance their performance. Di has written several books, including manuals for trainers, one on staff appraisals, one on workplace counselling, one on improving your excellence as a trainer, one on people skills, and one on being a 21st century manager. She is currently preparing a further book on the secret of sustainable successful organisations.
Author Archive | Di Kamp

STOP THE BURN-OUT!

By on April 25, 2012 in Meta Org Blog, Resourcing yourself

Maybe you don’t suffer from it – you’re OK, you’re thriving on the pressure and the adrenaline buzz that goes with it. But most of us have times in our lives when the thriving on pressure becomes surviving pressure, and then barely surviving pressure. So beware! You could be on the slippery slope to burn-out, even if you haven’t yet reached that stage.

And many of you will know just what I mean: the feeling of being tired most of the time and exhausted some of the time; the reluctance to get up in the morning; no time or energy for enjoying yourself – just some of the signs of burn-out.

There is a high cost being paid in every industry for the continuing pressure to be competitive, and the resultant increase in workload and longer working hours. The amount of stress-related illness and absence in work is increasing exponentially, and everyone knows someone who is close to burn-out through just working harder.

We have a friend who, with his wife, comes to stay for a weekend occasionally. The Friday night meal is a waste of time, because he is too ‘wound-up’ to enjoy the food. By Saturday night, he is a little more human, but on Sunday he is winding back up again. His ‘free time’ is reduced by the post-work effects and the pre-work ‘wind-up’, and there is little enough of it in the first place.

When is it burn-out?

All of us have more highly pressured lives than used to be the case. Society has changed significantly, with instant communication links, geographical mobility, and expectations that everyone will fit more into their lives. So what’s the difference between working hard and having burn-out?

It’s a difference of control. I can have a day when I have been very busy: I may have travelled to work for an hour, then run a course all day, then travelled home, had some dinner, and spent an hour gardening, before sitting down to answer post, deal with e-mail, or do some word-processing. After a day like this I will be tired, but I will still feel that I am choosing how my day goes, and I can sleep well and get up ready to start again the next morning. When I’ve reached burn-out, I won’t feel as if I choose how my day goes. It will feel as if I’m driven by external circumstances, with little choice on my part, and although tired, it will be the weariness of someone who has kept going with, but not finished what they had to do.

Our fuel tanks

I often use the metaphor of a fuel tank in a vehicle to describe how many of us feel. Imagine that you have an invisible fuel tank attached to you, which is the container for your energy and resources. Many of us have become accustomed to running with the orange light flashing on the dashboard to warn us that the tank is almost empty. In fact, we are so used to the orange light flashing that we don’t really notice it any more.

What we do know is that we don’t have that much spare to give out to others and their demands on us. We resent extra demands because they may ‘empty our fuel tanks’, and we slump in front of the TV or go to bed early to just allow our tanks to re-fuel enough to get us through the next day.

One of the consequences of running your engine with the orange light flashing all the time is that you pull the ‘gunge’ through the system, causing, over time, blockages and breakdowns. We are warned about this on our vehicles, how come we aren’t warned about it with our personal ‘fuel tanks’?

So what can you do about filling up your fuel tank?

It is actually simple to top up your fuel tank, although not what we have generally been encouraged to do. Once upon a time, we all knew how to keep ourselves resourced and energised – it came naturally to us – and we had to learn how to neglect ourselves.

Watch small children. Without even thinking about it, they automatically go for things which will keep their fuel tank filled. Their preference is for anything which will make them feel good, if only for a moment. This is strongly sense-based – it’s what they can look at, hear, touch, smell and taste, primarily: a piece of clothing they love, even if it is ‘inappropriate’ for the occasion; a favourite toy or video; a favourite type of food – all these ‘feed the senses’, and in the process, top up the fuel tank.

This works equally well for us as adults, but we have learnt not to allow ourselves these ‘treats’. We wear sensible clothes and save favourites ‘for best’; if we enjoy a film, we watch it once; our favourite foods are saved for special occasions. Children soon realise that you are not supposed to keep your fuel tank topped up – but they were right, we were wrong!

How many ways could you make yourself feel good, just for a moment, in a day? I don’t doubt you have favourite clothes, smells, tastes, music or sounds, things you like the feel of. Our unconscious wisdom tempts us into making those choices, and putting them in our environment. They don’t have to be expensive or rare. I remember working with some hotel staff, and one of them said to me: ‘I long for baked beans on toast, instead of beef en croûte!’ I pointed out to him that a can of baked beans cost very little, and it was a very easy meal to prepare!

Most of the time, it only takes a moment or two to appreciate something by noticing it, or to make a different choice of clothing or what you listen to. It is not time consuming to fill your fuel tank, and it has such enormous pay-offs.

You have more energy and resourcefulness, so you can manage yourself and your day better. We all know that when we are ‘on form’, we work more effectively, deal with others better, handle difficult situations better, and generally view the world more constructively. This is within your control – you just need to re-learn how to keep your fuel tank topped up.

Working smarter

Once you have learned the fundamental principle, and resource yourself more effectively, you will find it easy to recognise and apply ‘working smarter’ principles.

  • Take ‘time out’ from whatever you are doing at regular intervals – we can only remain effectively focussed on a task for relatively short periods of time. When you find yourself beginning to lose concentration, move, have a break, fetch a drink, something to shift your focus and top up your tank. Then you can pay attention again.
  • Take a moment or two to check out that what you are doing really matters. We often pay attention to tasks because they are urgent rather than because they are important. Ask yourself (or your manager) what matters most in this job, and ensure that you give your best attention to those things.
  • Organise your day to suit your personal flow of energy. We all vary – some do their best report work in the morning, some in the afternoon, and so on. Observe yourself for a few days, and then plan your activities, as far as possible, to suit your own pattern.
  • Go home! Very long hours do not equate with effective work. And taking work home with you often results in a larger burden of guilt, rather than more being achieved. We all need to work, rest, and play, as an advertisement once said. If you lose that balance, you continually reduce your own effectiveness at the work.

Above all, listen to your own messages. We all have an intuitive wisdom that enables us to be at our best. External pressure produces short-term results and long-term burn-out. Internal awareness produces results long-term. What choice will you make?

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REGAINING PERSPECTIVE

By on June 23, 2011 in Blog

Have you ever had that one small thing that didn’t go as you wanted? I say ‘small thing’ but of course, I mean that thing that becomes the only thing that happened that day!! Somehow, no matter how much goes right in a day, the one thing that doesn’t is the one that takes over your thoughts, your view of yourself and others, and your mood. We know, logically, that it is a minor part of our life and that we will probably forget it eventually, but emotionally, it fills our world.
So how do we regain our perspective when something catches us like this? Continue Reading →

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REGAINING PERSPECTIVE

By on June 1, 2011 in Self awareness, Ways of thinking

Have you ever had that one small thing that didn’t go as you wanted?  I say ‘small thing’ but of course, I mean that thing that becomes the only thing that happened that day!!  Somehow, no matter how much goes right in a day, the one thing that doesn’t is the one that takes over your thoughts, your view of yourself and others, and your mood.  We know, logically, that it is a minor part of our life and that we will probably forget it eventually, but emotionally, it fills our world.

So how do we regain our perspective when something catches us like this?

The first task is to distract ourselves.  Our thoughts are busy reinforcing that we are wrong, or were wronged, and finding more and more reasons for being upset or angry, so we need to get out of the spiral.  What makes you forget everything else that is going on?  Is it music, a jigsaw, a good film, a hobby you love, playing with your children?  We need a repertoire of these distractions to call on when this happens, so as to create a space that allows our mind to begin to regain perspective.

Secondly, we need to recognise that the reason something can take over our world like this is that it is linked to something important to us emotionally: maybe someone made you feel small, or stupid, and that hurts; or you made a mistake, and you always want to get things right.  There are lots of possibilities, but most times it does link into some breach of our core values in some way.  So, what was it about the event that upset or angered you?  Now consciously find at least ten counter-examples of when this core value was supported: people liked what you did; you were thoughtful, etc.  This is to remind yourself that your world really isn’t not working all the time!!

Thirdly, we need to forgive.  If others were at fault, see them as children who don’t know any better and let it go.  If you were at fault, remember you are only human, and if you got it right every time, you would be divine!!

By now, you will be beginning to regain perspective, so take a breath, and reward yourself with a treat!  You’ve just put yourself through the mill and started working to put yourself together again, so you need a little pampering!  Be kind to yourself, as you would to a friend who had been through the same thing.

Finally, it’s important to do what you can to avoid a similar battering in the future, so ask yourself: ‘What will I do differently in this sort of situation in the future?’  And, for a moment, see yourself using the alternative approach.

Above all, remember:  most of the time, your life works pretty well!

 

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WHAT IS IMPORTANT IN LIFE?

By on April 19, 2011 in Excellent organisations, Meta Org Blog, relating to others, Resourcing yourself, Working smarter

When we are caught up in our busy lives, it is easy to forget what really matters.  Out time seems to be eaten up by those never-ending ‘To Do’ lists: targets to achieve, chores to be done, projects to complete and there’s always more to add to the list, no matter how much we get done!  It is depleting, exhausting and we end up malfunctioning in one way or another, because we are not machines, designed to do things, we are human beings, designed to be human!

And what does that mean, to be a human being?  We are a living system within a larger system and our purpose is to live in relationship with ourselves and with others.  Originally when we worked together to achieve common goals, it was to feed, clothe and house ourselves.  We realised that it was easier to achieve these things by co-operating and supporting each other, using our different strengths to play our part, and encouraging each other, so that we would all want to be a part of it.

Our ‘organisations’ are really just groups of people forming a bigger living system, so that they can achieve what they want to achieve more easily.  So why have we forgotten about how to use these systems well, and got caught up in just getting things done?

It’s time we remembered that it is through our relationship with others that we achieve more, it is by taking better care of ourselves that we really utilise our strengths.  It isn’t hard to do, in fact it comes naturally!

So for the next month;

  • Give yourself a break before you are completely exhausted, and just take some breathing space to be.
  • Address the human being you are dealing with before you just ask them to do something.
  • Offer help to others, and
  • Ask for help from others
  • Encourage others to take a breathing space with you

None of this needs to take up much of your time, in fact it will be better use of time than the attempts we make to keep going or look as if we’re keeping going, when we’ve really had enough. Instead of depleting your energy, it will help to re-energise you. When it comes down to it, none of us will want our epitaphs to say: ‘She finished the to-do list!’

 

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WHAT IF WE WOKE UP TO GOOD NEWS?

By on January 1, 2011 in Change, health+well being, relating to others, Ways of thinking

I sat down the other evening, mulling over what my day had been filled with and what tomorrow would hold. The T.V. was on in the background and the local news reader was reporting on the day in the region I live in.

It dawned on me that almost everything that was being reported was either filled with dread or contained a negative slant of some kind.

It was also at that point that my head did its usual thing of wandering off to find a nicer place to sit!

While it was there in “Better Place”, it picked up a paper that had been left on a bench.

At the top of the front page of the paper was the name of the paper – THE SUN.

But this was a different paper, no red top banner; instead it had a big circular sun in bright yellow. Inside the big yellow circle was a smiley face.

The slogan next to the big yellow sun was “The happy people’s paper”.

At first glance the front page story looked like any other National Paper – a picture of a person crying. On closer inspection, the story headline explained the tears; “With a little help from my friends”.

The story on the front page of this paper was about a lady who had lost her job due to the economic cutbacks being faced by everybody across the country.

Not one to sit around, she decided to use the time she now had to do something she had always wanted to do – Gardening.

Starting with her own garden, she transformed what was a neat, tidy garden into a horticultural masterpiece. This prompted words of amazement and wonder from her neighbours. This quickly spread to the rest of the street and further across the town she lived in.

Soon, there were knocks on her door, people from surrounding towns wanting to see this now well publicised garden. It turned out that the people of this town had spread the word. It was their way of letting people know that this woman was valued in their community and needed a little help. As part of their story, they had told of her plight, that she had lost her job but had used the time she had to make something beautiful rather than just slip away, not be seen and become a statistic.

Going back to the front page picture on the paper, the reason for the tears was that one of the people that knocked on her door happened to be the owner of a landscape gardening business and was so impressed with the lady’s efforts, they offered her a job! – Tears of Joy!

Now she has a job again, doing something she truly loves and all because the people that live around her rallied round someone when they were having a hard time trying to cope with all the bad stuff.

Of course, my head came back to sit in “This World” and thought about where it had just been in comparison to where it was now.

We have many different mediums for communicating news these days. Technology has expanded this into almost every home in the country. But nothing has ever come close to creating the impact that human behaviour can.

No newspaper or news programme can ever be more powerful than the human spirit either. When we combine to “do good”, we create magic – And you can’t deny just how good it makes you feel when you have been part of something good!

Whether it’s a donation of money or time to your favourite charity, or popping over the road to see if a neighbour is okay or just wants a chat and a cuppa, let’s create a better newspaper to pick up each morning –

We can do it with a little help from our friends/neighbours/colleagues etc, etc…

 

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“FOUR YEAR OLD FEET”

By on January 1, 2011 in Self awareness, Ways of thinking

So, you’re beginning the day, you gently swing your sleepy legs over the edge of the bed and stretch – the same as you do every morning.

You look at the clock, 6.30am again – Same as yesterday’s clock. That floorboard creaks as you walk on it, reminding you that you must do something about it. The tiles at the bottom of the stairs are cold on your feet, reminding you that you forgot the slippers again.

And so it continues, you’re daily routine. The cups, the two sugars, the saucepan and porridge oats.

The slightly impatient call from the bottom of the stairs to the sleeping family that lets them know you have given them an extra 5 minutes slumber!

How quickly we fall into routines that, over a period of time become uninspiring and enhance that feeling of monotony.

But wait…. the sound of smaller, lighter somehow excited feet are heard.

These are feet that woke up with a purpose – These feet wanted to feel that carpet squirming between their toes!

These feet now want to jump down those stairs in front of them – maybe from the top all the way down! They thrill at the cold of the floor tiles underneath them at the bottom of the stairs, making them move faster.

Attached to these feet are also two excited legs and a body that holds up a face that is brighter than sunshine. This is because through these eyes, nothing looks the same!

In the world of this four year old, every day is new. The previous day is somehow partially wiped from memory so that the opportunity to create magic today is presented.

Every task or challenge, from waking up to getting dressed or brushing teeth is embraced with gusto!

We live in busy times, our lives are sometimes so full that we just climb on the treadmill with everyone else and join the queue, not really thinking about where we are heading because it’s the same as yesterday.

So the challenge is…. slip back into those four year old feet again tomorrow morning and feel the carpet between your feet; look out of the window at a new and different day and grab it with both hands.

Re-frame what always happens into something with a wonderful, slightly odd and exciting feeling, the one you lost touch with when younger – And love it. Then at the end of the day, sleep soundly and dream of where those four year old feet might take you tomorrow?

 

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THE MAGIC OF GENIUS

By on December 13, 2010 in Leadership, Living fully, Meta Org Blog, relating to others

It was one of those times when you really just want to curl up in front of the TV and not go out.  But we had tickets to see Nigel Kennedy play Vivaldi, and, having seen him before, we knew that we had to make the effort.

The concert was very late starting – to the point where large parts of the audience were doing the slow handclap of displeasure – and Nigel starts by apologising and taking the blame.  His little speech doesn’t really help the atmosphere – he doesn’t seem sufficiently contrite.

And then, he and his orchestra begin to play.  Everything changes in an instant.  Here is a man who not only plays his violin amazingly, he also plays with his orchestra in the most wonderful way.  He encourages them, enlivens them, gives them credit, all the while creating unbelievably beautiful music without seeming to work at it.

The audience applauds in between movements – unheard of in classical music – as well as at the end.  And the man who was irritating, when he first appeared, becomes someone they laugh with and respond to and delight in.

He is unkempt, he is unconventional, he is somewhat childish – and he is an outstanding performer, a musical genius, who experiments, who plays sublimely, who inspires his orchestra, who lives his music for you on stage.  What a great role model!  Not perfect, quite human, yet working his own particular excellence for us all to benefit from.

It is a totally uplifting experience, leaving your heart and soul singing.  Genius may not be ‘tidy’ or even comfortable sometimes, but it does inspire and remind us that excellence is magical.  And genius is infectious – it reminds us that we also carry elements of it inside us and helps us to bring them closer to the surface.

 

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USING TECHNOLOGY TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE

By on September 22, 2010 in Excellent organisations, Meta Org Blog, relating to others, Self awareness, Working smarter

I know this is a strange topic for me to choose – anyone who knows me will know that I am not very technology-minded!  Yet I have been thinking about how powerfully technology can actually help us make a difference, prompted in part by the book ‘Here Comes Everybody’ (see review).

At the same time as email seems to be giving people at work more and more to do and respond to urgently, it is also enabling us to keep easy contact with friends and family who live at a distance.  At the same time as social networking technology enables people to express their trivia to the world, it also enables social movements to build quickly and influence world affairs.

And, on a simpler level, the technology of digital cameras means that my grand-daughter can have a wonderful time taking as many photos as she likes, and practising how to take really good ones, because we can just save the best ones.

I often bemoan the fact that technology makes us its servant, but am reminded again that, when it is technology that is the servant, when we use it well, it can transform our world.

So every time we use technology to easily and quickly lift another’s spirits with our communication, every time we use technology to express our desire for justice, peace, human rights, every time we use technology to bring joy in some form, let’s celebrate it!

And whenever we use technology without good purpose, let’s question it, and ask what else we could do, so that it served us better.

This will reach you through the internet, the world-wide web, which was deliberately established to be an open and free means of global communication.  The original intention was to allow anyone and everyone to have access and to be able to express themselves and communicate with others.  This was based on a belief that, when given that possibility, the best of human behaviour would shine through.  Let’s prove that right!!

 

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BEING FREE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE

By on August 8, 2010 in health+well being, Living fully, Meta Org Blog, Reducing stress, Resourcing yourself, Working smarter

You can also listen to a podcast of this Workshop.
[audio:metaspirit_workshop_being_free.mp3|titles=Being free to live your life]
Download this podcast

Life is for the living.

At least that’s what they say. I’m not quite sure who ‘they’ are, but one thing is for sure, there are not many of us who can honestly say that they are free to live the life they want to?

We like to blame circumstance, or others for our life not being how we’d like it to be, but ultimately I feel that the block lies with us. Continue Reading →

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GIVING YOURSELF PERMISSION

By on August 8, 2010 in Meta Org Blog, Resourcing yourself, Ways of thinking

You can also listen to a podcast of this Workshop

[audio:metahome_podcast_giving_yourself_permission.mp3|titles=Giving Yourself Permission]

Download the podcast

For many years, Meta has been giving others permission to be themselves to make themselves feel good, to take better care of themselves, to trust their intuition. I consider it one of the more valuable things that we do, as all of us suffer from the need to know it’s OK to do things we have learnt are generally not allowed, for whatever stupid reason.

When we were born, it seemed obvious to us that we should choose how we wanted to be, and what we wanted to do, following our hearts. Then we learned that the world doesn’t work like that, we incorporated the should’s and ought’s into our way of talking and thinking, and lost sight of our own unconscious wisdom.

How many times do you say to yourself: ‘I shouldn’t really…’ or ‘I’ve got to…’ or ‘I’d better just…’ – there are endless variations on the theme! And what they all do is deprive ourselves of what we really want to do, and push us on with our obligations, or at the very least, make us feel guilty for still following our hearts.

What would happen if we decided to turn this on its head, and find a myriad of ways of giving ourselves permission? We could say to ourselves: ‘I deserve to…’, ‘I have done enough to be able to….’, ‘I really feel like… so I will….’, ‘It’s OK if I …’ – again the list can go on and on.

It seems to me that it is time that we all took responsibility for giving ourselves that permission. And I started, as we all have to, with myself. Although sometimes quite good at it, I realised that there were still a lot of ‘should’s’ driving me on, particularly around work. So I have been paying more attention to when the ‘should’s’ drop into my thinking, and asking myself what I would rather do.

And I am finding that giving myself permission to stop, to do something I really feel like doing, to follow my heart, is having a radical effect on my life – in a good way. Strangely, more gets done more easily, even though I take more breaks from the tasks, and put my feeling ahead of my rationality. And I am happier, and I have more energy – what is going on?

I feel that the experiment is far enough along to begin to encourage others to adopt the same experiment. So why not have a go at giving yourself more permission just to be how you are, to follow your feelings, and to challenge some of those times when you are driving yourself along.

We would encourage our friends to be kinder to themselves if we saw them exhausting themselves or forcing themselves on, so be your own best friend for just a while, and do notice what the effects are…

 

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