Tag Archives | relating to others

BREAKING THE SILO-MENTALITY – 4 ESSENTIALS FOR CROSS-FUNCTIONAL WORKING

By on August 4, 2017 in Meta Org Blog

When we have lots to do, never-ending tasks on our lists, it seems easier to just get on with it and stay in our own silo. But if you stop and reflect on it for a moment, you will realise that a lot of the obstacles you encounter in your work are caused by ‘them’ – the people in other teams or departments. ‘They’ don’t respond quickly enough; ‘they’ don’t understand how important something is; ‘they’ are not easy to get hold of; ‘they’ are asking for something urgently that you haven’t got on your priority list – because of course, ‘they’ are also working in their own silos!

Most of us cannot effectively do our work by staying in our silo, because the majority of projects these days involve a network of different roles in the organisation, so working cross-functionally is built in. Unfortunately the habit of working together cross-functionally isn’t.

Instead of resisting the cross-functionality, it genuinely makes our life easier if we work with it. It’s not difficult and it saves us time and energy in the longer term, if we choose to come out of our silo and work collaboratively and co-operatively with all those involved.

 

4 ESSENTIALS OF WORKING CROSS-FUNCTIONALLY

  1. Building your cross-functional relationships

The first essential is to build your cross-functional relationships. Get to know the people whose work interconnects with yours. Find out what matters to them, what their obstacles to progress are, what makes life easier for them. A bit of time spent having quality conversations with them is well worth it, because it means that now you know them as more than just one of ‘them’; they’re a human being, they’re John not that ‘guy in accounts’.

  1. Planning what needs to be done together

The second essential is to plan with them the work you need to do between you. Again, time spent talking about how you can respond to each other, taking account of each other’s workloads, can save time and energy chasing each other up.

  1. Having an agreement of how you’re going to work together

The third essential is to have an agreement of how you’d like to work together. So few people when working with new people actually tell them how they like to be worked with. Do you like it direct and to the point? Or do you like someone to give you a general pointer in the right direction? Do you like to do things last minute or are you someone who likes to do things before deadlines are looming? All these are useful bits of information if you’re to work together effectively.

  1. Got a problem? Talk it through!

The fourth essential is to have a conversation when a problem arises – and I mean talk and listen, not exchange emails! Problems can often be resolved on the spot if you voice them early enough, before they become too big to deal with. Even the biggest problems are more quickly solved when two heads are working on it rather than one and it’s easier to come up with ways to avoid it happening in the future.

 

An organisation is a living system of inter-connected parts. It is only successful if those parts work smoothly together. And we are the embodiment of those inter-connected parts. The simple fact is that the more we come out of our silos and start to view others’ perspective, the more effective we will become. If we actively improve the way we connect with others whom we help and who help us to make the whole thing work, our work life will get a whole lot easier.

Over the years at Meta we’ve developed some really effective ways to break down the barriers between departments, and help people to get beyond their silo mentality. There is no doubt that it is essential in today’s slimmed down organisations to be working cross-functionally, in order to be more productive and effective – so if you’d like help getting your organisation to work more cross-functionally, then please don’t hesitate to get in touch, we’d love to help.

Have a great month everyone,

In peace,
Jo & Di xxx

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IF YOU WANT TO FEEL VALUED – VALUE OTHERS

By on July 5, 2017 in Blog, Collaboration, emotional intelligence, Excellent organisations, Kindness, Leadership, Meta Org Blog, Reducing stress, relating to others

Feeling valued for the work you do is a foundation for wanting to give of your best. We all respond to being recognised for what we have done, what we contribute.

Yet for many of us, feeling valued is a rare commodity. What tends to get noticed is what we haven’t done or any mistakes we make. After all, if the boss asks us to go and see him or her, few of us are likely to think that they want to acknowledge our good work – we are more likely to worry about what they might say we have done wrong.

So how do we increase the likelihood of being valued for our work and our attitude? We would suggest that you start to value others more: those colleagues you can depend on to do what they said they’d do; that manager who trusts you to just get on with your work without interfering; that person who always makes you smile with their cheerful attitude; that more experienced team member who will explain something to you that you haven’t come across before; the one who speaks up in a meeting, voicing something you were thinking but didn’t want to say.

There are hundreds of everyday examples where someone else makes some form of positive difference to your day. By overtly recognising it, and thanking them for how they’ve contributed to making your day go better, you not only help to make them feel valued, you also are setting an example of valuing others that becomes infectious. By drawing attention to what someone does that is right, you are encouraging them to notice the same thing with others, including you!

I remember being asked by a senior manager to undertake some executive coaching with two of his team. He told me that they were great people to have in the team, and he wanted to encourage them to develop further because they would both be senior managers one day.

When I started to work with them, I realised that they had no idea he thought they were good at their job. In fact, both of them thought they were being coached because there was something lacking in their work or performance – It was a perfect example of not telling people that you saw them as valued members of the team.

I asked them how they felt about him as a manager and they both said that he was a really good manager, and they liked working with him. I suggested that they found an opportunity to tell him that they valued the way he managed them and had learnt a lot from hm. At their next coaching sessions, they both said that they had done what I suggested, and that he had been both surprised and pleased when they had said it. Moreover, he had told them both that he in turn appreciated the way they worked, and that was why they were being given the coaching – a great turn-around for both sides.

So why not try it out yourself? Go and find three people you work with today and tell them what they do that makes a difference to you. Why not make showing someone else that you value and appreciate them one of the daily things to do on your to-do list? There’s a great sense of well being to be had when you genuinely thank someone or let them know that they’ve made a difference to you. And interestingly, just by that subtle act of gratitude, you’ll be spreading that feeling of well being around your team and organisation too.

Have a wonderful month everyone!
In peace,
Di & Jo xx

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ARE YOU BEING KIND ENOUGH?

By on December 5, 2016 in Meta Org Blog

It’s winter, and nearly Christmas. We are biologically designed to slow down at this time of year, to sleep more, to do less, to rest before the busyness of spring. Yet most people seem to be more hectic than ever, planning for Christmas as well as trying to get stuff done at work before they take their time off.

We all feel as if we have less time anyway, with the shortness of daylight hours and the extra things to be done, and this leaves us tending towards grumpiness!!

Yet Christmas is supposed to be a time of peace and goodwill towards all. So how about starting by showing some peace and goodwill towards yourself?

You could let yourself off some of that pressure and be a little more kind to yourself.

  • Have a few nights of extra sleep – you need it to build your energy
  • Remember that no-one else will be working over Christmas, and you will probably do some of those tasks you have set yourself more effectively after a few days off, so check whether it is really necessary to do it now
  • Remember that Christmas only means a couple of days without shopping these days, so you don’t need to stock up for a major famine!
  • Make sure your Christmas plans include a little ‘me time’, doing something you want to do to just please yourself

Once you have been a little more kind to yourself, you can look at ways of showing peace and goodwill towards others: your family, your friends, your work colleagues. The most precious gift of all is to give our love and attention to others. Presents and cards are just a representation of that, so what else can we do to demonstrate our love?

  • Snuggle up with the family and watch a film you can all enjoy
  • Make their favourite meal one day
  • Put a short message on that Christmas card to tell them how much you appreciate them

It’s time we brought back the essential elements of this season of the year, and allowed ourselves a little more leeway.

It’s all about love and kindness, and it starts with you, so please be kinder to yourself – you deserve it!

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ROLE MODELLING IN LEADERSHIP

By on August 11, 2016 in Meta Org Blog

When we are young, we are greatly influenced by our role models. As children, we learn to mimic our parents at a very young age and, in later years, whilst our role models may change, we continue to learn from those we admire. These will include our heroes, whether fictional or real, and those at school who may be brighter, better at sports than we are, or those who are the most popular.

Whilst our tastes may change, as we grow older, the desire to learn from and emulate others does not diminish. At work, we try and understand what makes people successful and recognise the behaviours of the most influential.   Our own leadership styles are more likely to reflect what we have picked up from others than what we may have learnt from our own experiences.

Before we notice, others are watching us closely and seeing what works and what they like. And if what we do does not seem to match what we say, we build suspicion, distrust and potentially lose others’ commitment to our leadership.

So I would like you to think about the behaviours that you demonstrate at work. Do these reflect the ways of working that you are trying to encourage or are there inconsistencies? For example, are you trying to encourage others to have a better work/life balance, but are the first to arrive and the last to leave? Or are you trying to improve team working within your department, whilst being openly proud of your independence and autonomy of decision-making?

We are often unaware of these inconsistencies between what we say and what we do, but they are glaringly apparent to others. So, ask yourself some key questions:

  1. What are the behaviours and ways of working that you are trying to promote within your team or department?
  2. How consistent are your own actions in demonstrating these changes?
  3. What improvements or changes in your leadership style do you need to make to ensure that there is greater consistency?

Finally, why not take the opportunity to explain to others the changes you are planning to make? This will demonstrate your commitment, show them that you believe in adapting your own style and so encourage them to take similar actions themselves. And isn’t that what being a good role model is all about?

At Meta we love helping leaders and leadership teams to be the  role model and create the culture in which everyone thrives. If you’d like to find out more about how we can help why not download our Leadership brochure from the link below:

Meta Leaders&Leadership Team development

 

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COLLABORATION WORKS!

By on March 4, 2016 in Meta Org Blog

What are you good at? Most of us have some aspects of our work that we find easy and satisfying, that we do with some enthusiasm. Imagine if, most of the time, that is what was asked of you. If we really worked collaboratively, that is how it would look.

The word collaboration means working together to achieve an end goal. The implication of this is that we each bring our particular strengths to the task, so that we can achieve it more easily and effectively. We use this principle when we have different teams to design something, to implement the design, to test that it works properly, etc., but we often forget a vital element of collaboration: that they work together on it. If the end product is to be as intended, then all of them need to be involved in every stage of the process.

I’m sure you can think of your own examples of where this clearly hasn’t happened: the user guide written in language that the layman doesn’t understand; the chair that looks beautiful but is uncomfortable to sit on; the monitoring process that takes longer than the task it is monitoring.

How do we enhance collaboration?

Collaboration is a mind-set. It is about clarifying what we really want to achieve right at the start of something, and then identifying what each of us can contribute to make that happen. It requires that we let go of the drive to prove ourselves to be ‘the one’, and instead use what we’re good at to make something happen well. What we bring may be a technical skill or it may be a personal quality: how would we manage without the one who lightens the mood, the one who encourages everyone else, the quiet one who spots the way through the discussion to useful action!

Collaboration begins with seeing everyone else involved as a potential ally in achieving an effective outcome. For this to happen, we need two main areas to be built on:

  1. Building relationships in the team as a whole
  2. The ways we communicate with one another

If we don’t really know the other people in the team, then we won’t know what they can contribute, other than their technical skills, and we won’t build the trust that underlies collaboration, and enables us to know who to call on for help, or what they can bring.

And we need to communicate effectively with others, to build and reinforce relationships, and to maintain the feeling of working together. Emails being sent across the office simply don’t cut it!

It is natural to us to collaborate. We are a living model of how to do that well: our bodies are a brilliant example of collaboration, each part contributing to the whole by working together and communicating with each other to maintain the balance required for our health. We could learn from ourselves, and achieve miracles if we chose to!

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CONVERSATIONS

By on November 6, 2015 in Meta Org Blog

Last month I suggested that we ensure that our interaction with people is not transactional, and that we remember to engage with our hearts and not just our heads. This month I’m going to take that a stage further and suggest that we give more value to our interactions by engaging in real conversations with others.

The original meaning of the word conversation is that we turn together, and it always makes me think of dancing, where we take it in turns to lead, and enjoy being together and seeing where the dance takes us. Conversation has a flow to it, and a rhythm is created which has a special value.

In conversation, we learn about and from each other, and thereby enrich both our awareness and our relationship without effort. It doesn’t matter what the topic is to start with – it can be the weather, a TV programme you watched, or how you spent your evening. What matters is that you have the intention to engage with the other person, and share something of your self – then the magic happens.

I have stood at the bus stop, and begun with complaining about the poor service and ended up finding out what it was like to be a prisoner of war in Germany in World War Two. I have begun a conversation about having to do a lot of driving with a taxi driver, and ended up discussing our similar philosophies of life. Of course, not all conversations take us to such fascinating places, but they do always enable us to understand more of other people’s worlds and to be more sympathetic, at a minimum, and they can be a simple means of enhancing our lives and relationships.

So don’t ignore the opportunities to have a conversation every day. Stop for a moment and talk to the shop assistant, the work colleague, the person behind you in the queue. We seem to have got out of the habit in our culture – too busy, too rushed, too immersed in our phones – and we are losing out by not taking those 5 or 10 minutes. They are not a waste of time; they are a way of building relationship and awareness that comes naturally to us. Be interested in others and their lives and ideas – they’re fascinating!

Take a moment to think of a couple of real conversations you’ve had recently. Feel again the glow of being in that flow with someone else, the energy of it, the fun of it. And remember the after-effect on both of you: the warmer greeting next time you meet, the smile of recognition. Don’t deprive yourself – get out there and have a conversation with someone!

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TRANSACTIONS

By on October 2, 2015 in Meta Org Blog

Recently there has been a lot of news about artificial intelligence – robots. It made me think about the essential differences between artificial intelligence, and us as humans, no matter how it develops: we have a heart. By this I mean that we have an emotional reaction and connection, as well as an intellectual one. And this emotional reaction is important to our well-being and personal growth.

I’m not denying the usefulness of computer intelligence – it makes our everyday lives easier. We can go to an ATM and it will recognise our id code, and the amount we want to withdraw, and within moments the transaction is complete. We can dial a phone number and be connected to anyone in the world accurately and quickly. The important distinction is that these are transactions: I take an action which produces a reaction and the result is achieved. It gives us quick results, but there is no emotional exchange at all, so nothing to delight or upset us (unless it doesn’t work, in which case we get angry at the machine!)

However when we are dealing with human beings as opposed to machines, it’s a different story. Think of times when you have been treated like a machine: no hello’s or good mornings; no eye contact; straight to a question or something to be handed over. It makes you feel un-noticed, mistreated somehow. It also affects how you view the other person in a negative way. And that transaction has a negative effect on your mood, and your behaviour with that person in the future. Don’t do this to anyone – it’s not how humans naturally behave.

As human beings we are hard-wired to make an emotional connection with other human beings. This doesn’t have to be a major effort – we are not trying to make everyone fall in love with us! It’s about remembering that friendliness can bring a smile to the grumpiest face, that what we call ‘common courtesy’ – greeting people, saying please and thank you – is so-called because it is acknowledging and recognising the other person’s active part in your exchange.

A moment or two acknowledging the individual you are dealing with can enhance the day for both of you, and will gently build a relationship where you both feel respected and comfortable with each other. It is time well-spent, because it leaves us all feeling better.

So next time you are about to expect someone to do something, connect with that individual first, whether they are a work colleague or shop assistant, and save the transactions for machines – otherwise we all lose out.

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BUILDING TRUST

By on July 6, 2015 in Meta Org Blog

All of us would prefer to be considered trustworthy, wouldn’t we? It is one of the fundamental principles for being able to work together, that we feel we can trust each other. Yet we rarely stop and consider how we create trust between us. It certainly requires some building – it is rare that we will feel an immediate trust of someone we’ve just met. And that is even more true in the workplace, because the people concerned have not generally chosen to work together: we’ve been given those work relationships as part of the deal of having the job.
When we feel that we do trust someone we work with, or we are trusted by them, we do not usually analyse what happened to create that trust. We just assume that there are some people who are trustworthy and some who aren’t. If that were true, our level of trust would never change, yet it clearly does, so what happens? By looking at how we can actively encourage others to trust us, we can also identify what helps us to trust others – the same things apply. And one of the features of building trust is that if we behave in ways that help others to trust us, we also will tend to enhance our own trust of them – it’s a two-way thing.
Ways of creating trust
1. Getting to know people as individuals, rather than roles.
This is central to creating trust. When we feel that someone understands us and our world, we are more likely to trust them. Think about it: we automatically relate more easily to people who have something obvious in common with us – a similar sense of humour; a shared background; a similar attitude to their work. This is because we assume they will understand us better, although that is not necessarily true.
By getting to know the others you work with as individuals, you discover some of the things you have in common that aren’t as obvious, and find some common reference points. At Meta we encourage people to ‘chat’ – talk about themselves, their interests, their lives, their views, and they often say that this is one of the most useful things they do on the programmes, because it makes them feel more comfortable with work colleagues they didn’t previously know very well.
2. Do what you say you will do.
We all need evidence that someone is reliable and consistent, if we are to trust them. So turn up on time for meetings, do the actions you’ve promised, and if you slip occasionally, don’t make excuses – apologise and do it now. We all accept that sometimes that happens, so long as the person is honest about it.
3. Don’t gossip or whinge about people.
If you are doing that about someone behind their back, you might do it about me with someone else, and I will be wary about telling you things.
4. Be genuine.
We all spot it when someone is pretending, and it affects how much we trust them. So don’t give effusive praise when a genuine thank you is appropriate, don’t pretend to be in a good mood – just admit that you’re not, so they don’t think it’s their fault.
These simple everyday behaviours build the foundations of trust between people, and they’re not difficult. We do them automatically with some people – why not apply it more generally? The pay-off for consciously working on building trust is that you establish a firm basis for a good working relationship, and once there is trust, you have taken away one of the main obstacles to effective cooperation.

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THE EMAIL CULTURE

By on June 9, 2015 in Meta Org Blog

Emails seem to have become one of our major methods of communicating – what a shame! They may seem convenient and fast, but they are not really communication. The written word is only 7% of our total communication, which means that the receiver has to interpret the remaining 93% of the communication. The room for misinterpretation here is enormous!

Now I’m not saying that emails aren’t useful: they serve well as a quick way of conveying simple information, such as time and place for meetings, or as confirmation that you’ve received something, or to remind someone of something you’ve agreed verbally.

However, we all send them for many other purposes, and this is where they aren’t so useful. How many emails do you receive that you consider a waste of time, or that put your back up?

  • There are those where someone is covering their back: they send them to say, ‘I’ve told you about it, so you can’t complain you didn’t know’.
  • There are those that are passing the buck: ‘ I’ve put the action in your court now’.
  • There are those which seem almost rude in their terseness – no ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ or ‘would you mind..’ – just ‘do this’.
  • There are those which seem to imply that the other person is upset: ‘why haven’t you..’ or ‘I’m not going to..’

When you stop and look at the emails you receive, there are very few of them that reflect how that person would actually talk to you. Even if you only receive one email that puts your back up, it can colour the way you read the others you receive and put you in the mood to interpret more negatively. And this is before we even look at the two other negative aspects of email communication: speed of response expected, and sheer volume received.

Because emails are instant, there is often a pressure to respond pretty much immediately. I have certainly received phone calls asking why I hadn’t responded to an email sent two hours previously, and had a shocked reaction when I’ve said that I haven’t seen it yet. We have a ping on our computers and phones to tell us something has arrived in the in-box, and many of us have learnt to respond like Pavlov’s dog to its call. This is a constant distraction from whatever we are doing at the time, dividing your attention and making it hard to focus on anything. Stopping to answer immediately means that we are responding from a distracted state of mind.

And then there’s the number of emails most people receive – it’s a deluge in most organisations. That in itself is daunting, before we even get to trying to interpret their tone or respond immediately!

So what’s the solution?

Begin by looking at your own part in creating this over-use of emails. Before you send anything, ask yourself if this would be more appropriately dealt with face-to face, or at least over the phone. If there is a danger of misinterpretation, or you are likely to set off a ping-pong game of mails – you know, when they keep going back and forth between you! – maybe you would save time, energy and relationship by just talking to each other.

If you are copying it to other than the main recipient(s), check that’s really necessary. Those copied in emails are often just deleted and rarely elicit a positive response in the recipients.

And if you are just giving simple information, and do think it’s a useful email, consider putting in that extra sentence that gives it the personal touch, or a suggestion of helpfulness or courtesy, to give it a positive tone.

Once you have reduced your own role in making emails an irritating and negative part of our work lives, you can begin to manage those that are sent to you.

  • Turn your ping off. If you do receive some emails that are genuinely requiring instant answers, check every 30 minutes, and set up an automatic folder for them, so that is all you check.
  • Have times at regular intervals in the day when you check emails, maybe every couple of hours – and allow time for it in your diary.
  • When you think someone is being terse in an email, phone them or go and see them, to find out what’s going on, and to actively turn the tone around. Assume it’s your misinterpretation, give them the benefit of the doubt – they may just be overwhelmed with emails!
  • When you think this is likely to be a to-and-fro exchange of emails, arrange to meet or talk on the phone instead.
  • If you are going to just delete the email, perhaps you could unsubscribe, or courteously suggest that you don’t need to be on this mailing list.

Emails were a great invention. They allow us to exchange simple information quickly and easily. They were designed to be a useful servant, not a daunting master. Get them back into perspective and they become positive again.

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BEING GROWN UPS AT WORK

By on February 13, 2015 in Blog, Uncategorized

I overheard a conversation on the bus the other day, where someone was talking about how she had been to see her child’s teacher, to ask her to help with some minor bullying that had been going on. She had clearly handled it well, with both politeness and firmness – a lovely example of being grown-up – and she had achieved the outcome she wanted. Her finals sentence was: ‘If only I could be like that with my boss!’ and that left me wondering why not as well?

Somehow we have generally learnt to behave more like children than grown-ups at work: there are goody-goodies, shirkers, those who hide at the back of the class, little cliques, the popular ones – it sometimes looks and sounds more like a school playground than a workplace! I know, I am exaggerating, but you know what I mean.. And we give away our control to ‘them’ – some ill-defined stereotypical people in authority, the ‘bosses’ – and then moan about our lack of autonomy.

I think this happens because of the history of the workplace: once upon a time it was generally true that bosses ram the place by command and control, and treated workers as if they were unreliable, unruly children with no intelligence or maturity. But I believe the story has changed, and there is more recognition of the importance of working together to produce results, and of the need for people to feel empowered to achieve that.

However we all then have to choose to be empowered for it to work – no-one can give us empowerment, we have to choose to behave in that way – and we are habituated to being victims of circumstance.

So how do we become more empowered? We have to take responsibility for our own actions and attitudes. If we know that we have done the best we can, we stand by that: if we know we have made a mistake, we own up, apologise, make it right. We recognise if we’re not in the mood for something we have to do, and do something to change that mood. We admit if we need help, and ask for it. And we treat others as we wish to be treated, even if they don’t reciprocate.

And if you are one of those ‘bosses’, then you need to encourage your team members to adopt the behaviours I’ve listed. Notice and acknowledge when they are behaving in a grown-up way. Encourage them to show initiative, to be proud of what they achieve, and to feel Ok about admitting to something that isn’t so good, even if it doesn’t always work out. And don’t fall into the ‘boss’ trap: remember to adopt empowered and empowering attitudes and behaviours yourself.

Most people are grown-ups and are good at making their personal lives work for them. Let’s apply the same attitudes and capabilities in the workplace, and have organisations where people feel in control and valued for being the grown-ups they are.

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