Tag Archives | burn-out

IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN!

By on December 8, 2017 in Meta Org Blog

Every year in December, we like to just remind you that this is a time of year to take more care of yourself, rather than become even more frenetic and busy.

We are heading towards the shortest day, and those extra hours of darkness do have an effect on us. Biologically we are still designed to sleep when it’s dark, so when we push ourselves past that internal ‘clock’ we are using extra energy, even if we don’t realise it. It takes a toll on both our bodies and our emotions.

And we have the added pressure of getting ready for Christmas – it’s supposed to be a celebration not a pressure! Yet all around us are adverts suggesting that others are choosing the perfect (and expensive!) gifts for each other and preparing to give their loved ones a banquet fit for a king.

Christmas also seems to create a deadline for all sorts of work and home projects. We tell ourselves we have to get stuff finished and give ourselves even more stress before we have those few days off.

 

We can take a different perspective:

  1. Give yourself a little more leeway, to account for the extra stress of our natural reaction to shorter days and cold weather. Sleep a little more, take a few more breaks, have that cup of hot chocolate, sit in front of TV and watch a good movie.
  2. Remember that, above all, Christmas is about spending time with loved ones, being loving, having fun, and relaxing. No one has that perfect Christmas – it’s a myth – and it certainly won’t happen because you’ve spent heaps of money – it’ll happen if you decide to make it enjoyable and full of love.
  3. You are going to have a few days away from the computer, the emails, the projects. If you use those days well, you will come back to it all refreshed and re-energised, and it will be easier to be productive. Everyone else is doing the same, so nobody is waiting for you to do your bit. Most of your ‘deadlines’ can be relaxed.

We all need to revise our perspective and take it easier at this time of year. Be a little kinder to yourself, take a breath, and prepare yourself to have a relaxing and refreshing break for a few days. Make this a fun time of your year and take some care of yourself.

 

We at Meta wish you a peaceful and joyous Christmas period..

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STAYING WELL

By on October 7, 2016 in Meta Org Blog

Have you noticed how colds and unspecified viruses seem to have become illnesses that last for weeks, not days? When I was young, a cold was a nuisance for a few days, not something that keeps recurring over weeks, and if you did get flu, you stayed in bed for a few days until you felt better. Now we have undefined viruses that go on for ages, and that most people just keep going with.

I don’t believe that this is because there are more viruses: I think we are not taking care of ourselves like we used to. There are several factors in this.

  1. We don’t stop when we are feeling ill

We keep going and dose ourselves with tablets to relieve the worst of the symptoms. So we don’t give our bodies the chance to heal themselves. In fact, we add to the stress we put ourselves under by keeping going, which reduces the effectiveness of our immune system and means it takes longer to recover, and the virus can take a stronger hold.

  1. We take our illness into work

Not only are we less effective in our work when we do this, we are also giving all those we work with the opportunity to have the same illness! Viruses are contagious or air-borne, so they spread through being in the same space as others – and if those people are stressed, their immune systems are lowered, and they are more likely to be unable to fight it off.

  1. We live in a constant state of stress

We work longer hours, don’t take breaks, are busier than ever. This makes us more vulnerable to illness, because the constant adrenaline and cortisol we produce to deal with stress is at the cost of the health-giving hormones that support our immune system and the renewal of our organs.

So how do we stay well?

It’s obvious isn’t it!

Firstly, if you feel awful, have a day off, and doze your way through the day. Sleep allows our bodies to heal themselves and recover more quickly. One day out of work at the start of feeling bad is more productive that going in and struggling through, and eventually needing five days off! It’s also more considerate of your colleagues. And don’t say I can’t because of this meeting or that report – they can usually wait a day for you to be fit to do them properly.

And longer-term, find ways of reducing your stress, so that you have a stronger immune system, and can resist illness more easily. Take breaks in your day, give yourself relaxing activities outside work, let yourself have some breathing space!

There is little in life which is really either an emergency or a tragedy. Let’s ease up on the urgency, rush and anxiety, and allow ourselves to stay well.

(By the way, Meta is great at helping you find practical strategies for reducing your stress and caring for yourself better)

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STOP THE BURN-OUT!

By on April 25, 2012 in Meta Org Blog, Resourcing yourself

Maybe you don’t suffer from it – you’re OK, you’re thriving on the pressure and the adrenaline buzz that goes with it. But most of us have times in our lives when the thriving on pressure becomes surviving pressure, and then barely surviving pressure. So beware! You could be on the slippery slope to burn-out, even if you haven’t yet reached that stage.

And many of you will know just what I mean: the feeling of being tired most of the time and exhausted some of the time; the reluctance to get up in the morning; no time or energy for enjoying yourself – just some of the signs of burn-out.

There is a high cost being paid in every industry for the continuing pressure to be competitive, and the resultant increase in workload and longer working hours. The amount of stress-related illness and absence in work is increasing exponentially, and everyone knows someone who is close to burn-out through just working harder.

We have a friend who, with his wife, comes to stay for a weekend occasionally. The Friday night meal is a waste of time, because he is too ‘wound-up’ to enjoy the food. By Saturday night, he is a little more human, but on Sunday he is winding back up again. His ‘free time’ is reduced by the post-work effects and the pre-work ‘wind-up’, and there is little enough of it in the first place.

When is it burn-out?

All of us have more highly pressured lives than used to be the case. Society has changed significantly, with instant communication links, geographical mobility, and expectations that everyone will fit more into their lives. So what’s the difference between working hard and having burn-out?

It’s a difference of control. I can have a day when I have been very busy: I may have travelled to work for an hour, then run a course all day, then travelled home, had some dinner, and spent an hour gardening, before sitting down to answer post, deal with e-mail, or do some word-processing. After a day like this I will be tired, but I will still feel that I am choosing how my day goes, and I can sleep well and get up ready to start again the next morning. When I’ve reached burn-out, I won’t feel as if I choose how my day goes. It will feel as if I’m driven by external circumstances, with little choice on my part, and although tired, it will be the weariness of someone who has kept going with, but not finished what they had to do.

Our fuel tanks

I often use the metaphor of a fuel tank in a vehicle to describe how many of us feel. Imagine that you have an invisible fuel tank attached to you, which is the container for your energy and resources. Many of us have become accustomed to running with the orange light flashing on the dashboard to warn us that the tank is almost empty. In fact, we are so used to the orange light flashing that we don’t really notice it any more.

What we do know is that we don’t have that much spare to give out to others and their demands on us. We resent extra demands because they may ‘empty our fuel tanks’, and we slump in front of the TV or go to bed early to just allow our tanks to re-fuel enough to get us through the next day.

One of the consequences of running your engine with the orange light flashing all the time is that you pull the ‘gunge’ through the system, causing, over time, blockages and breakdowns. We are warned about this on our vehicles, how come we aren’t warned about it with our personal ‘fuel tanks’?

So what can you do about filling up your fuel tank?

It is actually simple to top up your fuel tank, although not what we have generally been encouraged to do. Once upon a time, we all knew how to keep ourselves resourced and energised – it came naturally to us – and we had to learn how to neglect ourselves.

Watch small children. Without even thinking about it, they automatically go for things which will keep their fuel tank filled. Their preference is for anything which will make them feel good, if only for a moment. This is strongly sense-based – it’s what they can look at, hear, touch, smell and taste, primarily: a piece of clothing they love, even if it is ‘inappropriate’ for the occasion; a favourite toy or video; a favourite type of food – all these ‘feed the senses’, and in the process, top up the fuel tank.

This works equally well for us as adults, but we have learnt not to allow ourselves these ‘treats’. We wear sensible clothes and save favourites ‘for best’; if we enjoy a film, we watch it once; our favourite foods are saved for special occasions. Children soon realise that you are not supposed to keep your fuel tank topped up – but they were right, we were wrong!

How many ways could you make yourself feel good, just for a moment, in a day? I don’t doubt you have favourite clothes, smells, tastes, music or sounds, things you like the feel of. Our unconscious wisdom tempts us into making those choices, and putting them in our environment. They don’t have to be expensive or rare. I remember working with some hotel staff, and one of them said to me: ‘I long for baked beans on toast, instead of beef en croûte!’ I pointed out to him that a can of baked beans cost very little, and it was a very easy meal to prepare!

Most of the time, it only takes a moment or two to appreciate something by noticing it, or to make a different choice of clothing or what you listen to. It is not time consuming to fill your fuel tank, and it has such enormous pay-offs.

You have more energy and resourcefulness, so you can manage yourself and your day better. We all know that when we are ‘on form’, we work more effectively, deal with others better, handle difficult situations better, and generally view the world more constructively. This is within your control – you just need to re-learn how to keep your fuel tank topped up.

Working smarter

Once you have learned the fundamental principle, and resource yourself more effectively, you will find it easy to recognise and apply ‘working smarter’ principles.

  • Take ‘time out’ from whatever you are doing at regular intervals – we can only remain effectively focussed on a task for relatively short periods of time. When you find yourself beginning to lose concentration, move, have a break, fetch a drink, something to shift your focus and top up your tank. Then you can pay attention again.
  • Take a moment or two to check out that what you are doing really matters. We often pay attention to tasks because they are urgent rather than because they are important. Ask yourself (or your manager) what matters most in this job, and ensure that you give your best attention to those things.
  • Organise your day to suit your personal flow of energy. We all vary – some do their best report work in the morning, some in the afternoon, and so on. Observe yourself for a few days, and then plan your activities, as far as possible, to suit your own pattern.
  • Go home! Very long hours do not equate with effective work. And taking work home with you often results in a larger burden of guilt, rather than more being achieved. We all need to work, rest, and play, as an advertisement once said. If you lose that balance, you continually reduce your own effectiveness at the work.

Above all, listen to your own messages. We all have an intuitive wisdom that enables us to be at our best. External pressure produces short-term results and long-term burn-out. Internal awareness produces results long-term. What choice will you make?

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WHAT IS IMPORTANT IN LIFE?

By on April 19, 2011 in Excellent organisations, Meta Org Blog, relating to others, Resourcing yourself, Working smarter

When we are caught up in our busy lives, it is easy to forget what really matters.  Out time seems to be eaten up by those never-ending ‘To Do’ lists: targets to achieve, chores to be done, projects to complete and there’s always more to add to the list, no matter how much we get done!  It is depleting, exhausting and we end up malfunctioning in one way or another, because we are not machines, designed to do things, we are human beings, designed to be human!

And what does that mean, to be a human being?  We are a living system within a larger system and our purpose is to live in relationship with ourselves and with others.  Originally when we worked together to achieve common goals, it was to feed, clothe and house ourselves.  We realised that it was easier to achieve these things by co-operating and supporting each other, using our different strengths to play our part, and encouraging each other, so that we would all want to be a part of it.

Our ‘organisations’ are really just groups of people forming a bigger living system, so that they can achieve what they want to achieve more easily.  So why have we forgotten about how to use these systems well, and got caught up in just getting things done?

It’s time we remembered that it is through our relationship with others that we achieve more, it is by taking better care of ourselves that we really utilise our strengths.  It isn’t hard to do, in fact it comes naturally!

So for the next month;

  • Give yourself a break before you are completely exhausted, and just take some breathing space to be.
  • Address the human being you are dealing with before you just ask them to do something.
  • Offer help to others, and
  • Ask for help from others
  • Encourage others to take a breathing space with you

None of this needs to take up much of your time, in fact it will be better use of time than the attempts we make to keep going or look as if we’re keeping going, when we’ve really had enough. Instead of depleting your energy, it will help to re-energise you. When it comes down to it, none of us will want our epitaphs to say: ‘She finished the to-do list!’

 

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SLOW DOWN!

By on June 20, 2010 in health+well being, Meta Org Blog, Reducing stress, Resourcing yourself, Working smarter

You can also listen to a podcast of this Workshop

[audio:metahome_podcast_slow_down.MP3|titles=Slow Down!]

Download the podcast

Have you noticed how the days have become a non-stop dash for many of us, much of the time?  We jump out of bed, do our morning ‘stuff’. Hurry to bus or train or car, get to work, and start immediately on the ‘to do’ list.  Even after the daily dash through as much as we can get done at work, we don’t often slow down.  It’s home, tea, maybe more work, the children, and finally we collapse in bed, to have a rest ready for the next daily dash.

Are weekends any better?  Gardens, housework, kids’ activities, socialising, maybe some of the jobs we didn’t get done this week at work – the weekend can easily turn into another list of chores.

Your poor bodies and minds and hearts!!  What happened to us?  We wouldn’t fit in breathing if it wasn’t automatic!!  And we are paying a high price for all this dashing: high blood pressure, bad backs, viruses that knock us flat for days, barely surviving relationships, poor digestion.  It doesn’t even give us real compensatory rewards:  do you ever finish that ‘to do’ list, at home or at work?  Do people praise you and love you for your out-of-control Protestant work ethic?

I know, I know, it’s hard to break the habit; it seems to be what’s expected of us; if I don’t, what might happen?

So my challenge is this: can you find a few spaces in each day to just slow down for a while?

  • How about 5 minutes in the morning, just tasting your breakfast/coffee/tea?
  • How about 10 minutes around lunchtime, just walking slowly and noticing what’s around you?
  • How about 15 minutes when you first get home, sitting quietly or strolling round the garden?
  • How about 20 minutes before bed, just relaxing?

 

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THE STORY OF THE BE PERFECT DRIVER AND THE BE HAPPY DRIVER By Spencer Kirkwood.

By on May 1, 2010 in Self awareness, Working smarter

This is a story written by one of Meta’s friends. You may recognise the theme! And thank you, Spence!

The Be Perfect driver was a successful driver. Everything he did was as close to perfect as he could make it. Anything that he was asked to achieve, he strived for 100%, even 101%!

A very commendable attitude everyone said.

From very early in the morning until late into the evening, the Be Perfect driver committed his time to his work and to making sure that everyone was “happy” with that work. (He is even writing this at 9.25pm in his lounge!) He knew his job well and his experience was well respected with many of his colleagues and peers.

He always took the time to support others, even when his own workload was heavy – never one to let anyone down. From time to time, he found himself on very tight deadlines which meant that occasionally, his usually high standards slipped a little.

This had an unusual effect on the Be Perfect driver – How could he have let his most precious asset slip?

Was this the point where people found out that he couldn’t do what he said he could?

Even though he said he could, could he do the job?

Now the Be Perfect driver was slipping into confusion, all the perfection was disappearing from his world and being replaced with….Doubt.

This caused the Be Perfect driver to feel less than perfect, in fact he felt as though every part of what he had worked so hard to achieve was being unravelled. People would think that he wasn’t quite as good as they first thought. They would not put so much trust in him in the future. He would slowly but surely be squeezed out.

The Be Perfect driver pulled over into a lay-by to try to figure out how he would fit all the things he had to do into the ever shrinking time line he had AND do them all perfectly.

As he pulled in, he vaguely noticed another similar looking van parked up. Leaning up against the van holding a cup of tea, was a man who looked uncannily like himself only….. better. He wasn’t sure what it was that was better about this other man, only that he looked, well, good!

Now being a man who liked everyone else to be happy, the Be Perfect driver decided to find his best smile and go over and say hello to the other driver.

“Hello” He said in his best voice and with his best smile. “I’m the Be Perfect driver, you look familiar, have we met before”?

The other driver smiled a relaxed and contented smile. “I’m the Be Happy driver” He said.

“We’ve met quite a few times, but mostly just short glimpses these days”

The Be Perfect driver was a little confused at the Be Happy driver’s response. What could he mean, just short glimpses?

“I used to stop here for a cup of tea quite often” Said the Be Perfect driver. “These days though, I just have so many things to do, I barely have time”

“I know” Said the Be Happy driver. “All that training to deliver, then more to design and write AND making sure that it is all up to standard – can’t afford to let the side down. Then there’s the family, and the work to do on the house, it just keeps getting bigger and bigger”.

“But how do you…..” The Be Perfect driver was just about to ask how on earth the Be Happy driver knew all these things about him when the Be Happy driver continued..

“I was just like you, up at the crack of dawn and back at stupid o’clock, missing the kids go to bed and then collapsing in the chair when I got home. One day it all got on top of me and I didn’t know what to do first. I didn’t talk to my wife because it was just boring work stuff and she was busy trying to project manage everything else that was going on.

“Then one day, I went to see a good friend of mine. We weren’t supposed to be talking about my troubles but it just ended up coming out in conversation. As I was talking, I heard myself saying something to my son a few days earlier and it just hit me that I was unhappy. I was trying SO hard to pull everything together and keep everyone happy but all I was achieving was more stress and behaving in a way that was actually making people UN-HAPPY”.

“My friend asked me a fairly simple question. She said that trying for the best result was a good trait but if I could change being perfect to something else, what would I choose?”

I thought for a minute and decided that rather than having a “Be Perfect” driver, I would rather have a “Be Happy” driver”.

“I started to think about all the things that I had to do, all the people I needed to please and all the stress I was piling on myself and my family. Then I asked myself how I could achieve all of these things from a Happy perspective”.

“As I thought about each task, I thought about how I could fit in a little treat to make me feel happy as I worked. I also thought about a bigger treat at the end of each week, just to celebrate what I had achieved, even if I hadn’t managed to do everything. At the beginning I was worried that doing this would mean that my own standards would dip, but guess what – they actually went up! Because I was enjoying what I was doing and letting myself have a little treat every now and then, I was really pleased with the results – And so were other people!”

“It seems that a little time spent making sure YOU are happy has the most wonderful effect on other people. Somehow, I don’t find them asking for so much of my time these days – maybe because what I do for them now is closer to being right the first time. I don’t feel quite as rushed as I used to – maybe because I am enjoying the work” (and looking forward to the treat!)

I enjoyed lying on the floor the other night with both of my daughters sitting on my back while I read them a story – Something I hadn’t done for a while without speed reading and bundling them off to bed so that I could carry on with work”!

The Be Perfect driver was stunned, it was as if someone had just described his life!

He looked at the Be Happy driver for a long time. The more he looked, the more he wanted to look and feel like him.

“Do you think I could do the same as you”? Said the Be Perfect driver.

“Absolutely”. Said the Be Happy driver. “Do you know what makes you happy”?

The Be Perfect driver thought.

“ My kids when they laugh, going to football on Saturday and watching my son, nice cup of tea with milk and two sugars, watching a romantic film with my wife, watching……”

“Okay, okay” Said the Be Happy driver. “Use all of those things and more as your treats. When you don’t have much time, use the short treats, when you have more time, use the longer ones. Enjoy it when you use them”.

The Be Perfect driver looked at his watch.

“Time I was off on the road again”. He said to the Be Happy driver. “Thanks for the chat though and I’m definitely going to use my treats and think more about what makes me happy”.

“One more thing before you go”. Said the Be Happy driver. He drew a big imaginary hoop in the air. Then he grabbed it and passed it to the Be Perfect driver.

“Take this”.

“What is it”?

“Inside that hoop are all the things that make you feel good. Sometimes, when you’re struggling to find “Happy”, throw the hoop on the floor and step in it. Let yourself feel all those good things surround you and fill you up. Once you have topped up with “Happy”, pop the hoop in your pocket and carry on”.

“Thanks”. Said the Be Perfect driver looking a little confused.

Are you coming this way next week”? Asked the Be Happy driver.

“Yes, on Tuesday” Said the Be Perfect driver.

“Stop off for a treat and we’ll talk again. It’s been nice”.

“I will”, said the Be Perfect driver as he turned and walked back to his van, all the time feeling the hoop in his pocket filling up with happiness.

 

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The Rhythm of Life

By on March 10, 2006 in Meta Org Blog, Resourcing yourself, Self awareness

We all know that we have a natural rhythm – no, I don’t mean your ability to dance! – I mean the rhythm of our energy levels. Some of us are full of energy first thing in the morning, some of us last thing at night, and all of us tend to go up and down during the day in different ways. We know this because if we stop for a moment and reflect on how we are feeling, we will notice that we are sluggish or energised, blurry or focused – you know what I mean..

What is sad is that we are not taught to work with our natural rhythms – in fact the opposite is true for most of us. We are taught to ignore them. Yet if we want to be excellent, our ability to manage our energy is paramount.

We have four types of energy – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Each type need scaring for, and to be given a chance to refresh.

  • If I have sat still for a while, I need to move my body, feed it, and revitalise my physical energy.
  • If I have been concentrating on something mentally, I need to give my mind a rest, by doing something ‘mindless’ or enjoyable  with my mind – or even switching to another form of activity – that walk we need regularly.
  • If I have been engaged in something that is emotionally draining – even if it is a positive form of draining, I need to do something that just gives me joy for a while, without any effort on my part
  • And every so often, I need to make sure that I feel that what I am doing is purposeful and worthwhile, to refresh my spiritual energy – and if it doesn’t feel that way, I need to find ways of feeling that – by switching what I am doing, on a macro- or micro-level.

Scientists have researched our energy levels and what affects them in considerable depth. There is a consensus of opinion that we need to recharge our physical, mental and emotional levels of energy every 1.5 to 2 hours.  How many of us do that? And without the feeling of purposefulness, all of us sink into a dreary view of everything we do – the daily drudgery..

It doesn’t take long to recharge, and as those of you who have been on programmes with us will know, there are many techniques you can use to help you. Without the recharging, we become automatons, and never fulfil our potential. What a waste!

So just stop and reflect on how you can keep yourself charged, and allow yourself to be at your best this month – you will gain from it, and so will the world!

 

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Filling Your Fuel Tank

By on September 4, 2002 in Meta Org Blog, Resourcing yourself, Working smarter

Imagine that you have a fuel tank which contains your energy and resourcefulness. Most people tend to empty their fuel tanks faster than they fill it, so the orange light is constantly flashing on their dashboard. When your fuel tank is almost empty you will never perform at your best – that requires a full tank of energy and resourcefulness.

How full is your fuel tank?

It simple to top it up. Every time you smile or feel good, you put some fuel in – it need only take a breathspace. We call it having treats and we recommend that you have hundreds of treats every day.

A treat is anything which makes you smile or feel good that you can access through your senses: sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch.

Homework

1. Make a list of possible treats for each of your senses
2. Allow yourself at least one breathspace an hour for a treat

The world is full of potential treats, so exploit the possibilities and make yourself feel good.

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Holidays

By on September 4, 2002 in Living fully, Meta Org Blog, Resourcing yourself

 

WORKSHOP – HOLIDAYS -08.01

Holidays were originally holy days, days off work to celebrate special days in the church calendar, while in the US they have vacations, which originally means leaving something empty or unoccupied.

Both words imply stopping the everyday routine and stepping away from it to reflect on the larger picture of life.

We all need these breaks from routine to take stock, to refresh ourselves and to regain perspective. They are an essential part of our pattern for living, because they allow us a space, a review period, when we can run a check on what is and isn’t working in our lives, and rest before regaining our momentum.

So make sure that you take some time out over the summer period. Don’t just fill your time with lots of activities – have a do-nothing space, where you just ‘catch up with yourself’ as my mum used to say.

Homework

  1. Plan at least a day of doing nothing, preferably away from your home
  2. Plan at least another day of doing something non-productive that will just be fun
  3. Enjoy any holiday you take!

 

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SCHOOL’S OUT

By on July 11, 2002 in health+well being, Resourcing yourself

Do you remember this time of year when you were younger? The exams were over, the weather was glorious, and we were about to go on the holidays that seemed to last forever. The mood was anticipation, and a sense of something finished, with a break before we started the next stage, and a gentle wind-down was beginning.

Then we go to work, and there is no longer that long summer break, or time to enjoy the good weather, when it comes. But a part of us is still reacting in the same way.

So give it some permission this month:

  • Allow yourself to take a slightly longer lunch break – or maybe just take a lunch break! – on one of these warm days.
  • Allow yourself to go home a little earlier a couple of days each week, and enjoy sitting outside on a warm evening, or playing with the children for a while longer
  • Allow yourself to have a barbecue on a weekday evening, when the weather is good, rather than hoping the warmth will still be there at the weekend
  • Allow yourself to be slower at something than you usually would

This is not pure self-indulgence, it is a vital part of looking after yourself. If we don’t cater for our longings at all, but force ourselves to work like machines rather than humans, our spirits build up a resentment that can become unhealthy for us and for those around us. If you ever find yourself envying the children their summer holiday break, recognise it as a sign that you need to give yourself some permission!

 

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