Tag Archives | kindness


Feeling valued for the work you do is a foundation for wanting to give of your best. We all respond to being recognised for what we have done, what we contribute.

Yet for many of us, feeling valued is a rare commodity. What tends to get noticed is what we haven’t done or any mistakes we make. After all, if the boss asks us to go and see him or her, few of us are likely to think that they want to acknowledge our good work – we are more likely to worry about what they might say we have done wrong.

So how do we increase the likelihood of being valued for our work and our attitude? We would suggest that you start to value others more: those colleagues you can depend on to do what they said they’d do; that manager who trusts you to just get on with your work without interfering; that person who always makes you smile with their cheerful attitude; that more experienced team member who will explain something to you that you haven’t come across before; the one who speaks up in a meeting, voicing something you were thinking but didn’t want to say.

There are hundreds of everyday examples where someone else makes some form of positive difference to your day. By overtly recognising it, and thanking them for how they’ve contributed to making your day go better, you not only help to make them feel valued, you also are setting an example of valuing others that becomes infectious. By drawing attention to what someone does that is right, you are encouraging them to notice the same thing with others, including you!

I remember being asked by a senior manager to undertake some executive coaching with two of his team. He told me that they were great people to have in the team, and he wanted to encourage them to develop further because they would both be senior managers one day.

When I started to work with them, I realised that they had no idea he thought they were good at their job. In fact, both of them thought they were being coached because there was something lacking in their work or performance – It was a perfect example of not telling people that you saw them as valued members of the team.

I asked them how they felt about him as a manager and they both said that he was a really good manager, and they liked working with him. I suggested that they found an opportunity to tell him that they valued the way he managed them and had learnt a lot from hm. At their next coaching sessions, they both said that they had done what I suggested, and that he had been both surprised and pleased when they had said it. Moreover, he had told them both that he in turn appreciated the way they worked, and that was why they were being given the coaching – a great turn-around for both sides.

So why not try it out yourself? Go and find three people you work with today and tell them what they do that makes a difference to you. Why not make showing someone else that you value and appreciate them one of the daily things to do on your to-do list? There’s a great sense of well being to be had when you genuinely thank someone or let them know that they’ve made a difference to you. And interestingly, just by that subtle act of gratitude, you’ll be spreading that feeling of well being around your team and organisation too.

Have a wonderful month everyone!
In peace,
Di & Jo xx

Comments are closed


There have been many stories in the media about the heartfelt reactions of people all over the world to natural disasters. For me, it is a great reminder that human beings are essentially caring and kind.

It is easy to forget, because we react more strongly to the cruelty or simple thoughtlessness that we experience, and register it in our consciousness more deeply – the unpleasant remark from a work colleague, the partner who doesn’t bother to acknowledge an important anniversary – we have all hurt from these sorts of behaviours.

Yet most of us equally experience simple kindnesses from others – a cup of coffee delivered to the desk when we are busy, a favourite dinner after a hard day at work – and for a moment they lift our spirits. Wouldn’t it be lovely if kindness were the norm – imagine how that would feel, and what a difference it would make to our daily lives! And it isn’t that demanding. Being kind and acknowledging kindness shown to you are simple things to do and pay off for both sides.

To increase the level to which human beings demonstrate their kindness, we need to take two simple actions:

  1. Every day do one kind act for someone else
  2. Every time someone does a kindness for you, acknowledge it

It is the small steps that begin the major differences. This sort of behaviour is infectious, and when we decide unilaterally to take these small actions, we find that more people are kind more often, that we increase the number of times we do a small kindness for someone, because it creates a good feeling and is easy.

Let’s not save our kindness for times of great disaster – let’s practise it every day!


Comments { 0 }